Funny @sh.itjust.works hydroptic @sopuli.xyz 3 wk. ago

General life advice

34 comments

A housecat can kill a level 1 commoner, you know.
- But it can't jump (I don't remember if that ever got errata'd or is being changed in OneD&D)
- On a crit it can kill a level 1 wizard
You could take any one of those completely out of context and they'd still be solid.
- I’ve already been living my life on these tenets.
Knew a guy who asserted he could easily fight several cats at once and win. I truly hope he finds out one day.
- Any healthy adult human could though. An old friend of mine accidently killed a cat with a single kick while "defending" his cat that was being attacked (I wasn't there so don't ask how). He was ~14 years old at the time. At the end of the day, humans are large animals, most of just don't want to hurt other creatures so we restrain ourselves.
  
  Completely agree. The textbook is talking about fighting a cat to help it, not destroy it. You would get bit for sure but could easily win.
  
  Yeah we're really World Of Cardboarding it up at all times. You know the stereotypes about crackheads being dangerous in a fight? That capacity is inside us at all times.
  
  I said several, but as the memory returns I'm recalling he might have claimed as much as twenty at once.
- I took a cat through an airport back in the day (2009) and they made me take her out of the carrier to go through security even tho the carrier was airline approved and fully plastic. Who the fuck thinks that’s a good idea?
  
  I told them if she escaped, they were responsible for returning her to me, alive, before my flight took off, because there is literally no reason she should have needed to come out of the carrier at all…
  
  She didn’t escape, but I boarded my flight with claw marks all down my arms and chest, bleeding profusely.. my fellow passengers weren’t even upset by the meowing when I stood up and they saw my battle scars from getting through the airport…
  
  So like sure, maybe you could.. but you are gunna get fucked up even by your best friend.
- That's such a fantastically stupid opinion to have that a dose of reality might do him some good
  
  It was far from his worst. I had to ditch that guy.
  
  Edit: very far, to be clear
Instructions Unclear: Took steroids, turned off brain; locked in never ending combat with cat.
- No the instructions were pretty clear, this is on you. Did you maybe turn off your brain before reading the instructions?
  
  In any case, please send cat pictures.
  
  I am just a cat climbing toy 😭
- I have been prescribed steroids since I was a kid. That is the benefit of having asthma.
Don't fight a cat everyday
- Fight a cat, steal its drugs, repeat when you run out, got it!
- Preferably don't fight a cat any day
The fuck is a "fair fight"?
- No tactical nuclear weapons, cluster bombs, sharp sticks etc. for the monkey with opposable thumbs
  
  Welp my Scorched Earth char is out I guess
  
  Well, that's just loser talk. ALWAYS nuke from orbit.
I like thegirlwiththedogs ' wisdom,"As always, we disarm our opponent before battle."

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