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Greentext @sh.itjust.works

🍹Early to RISA 🧉 @sh.itjust.works

9mo ago

Anon has a typical everyday average British morning

75 comments

I know Anons are dumb, but are they voting for Nigel Farage dumb?
- Surely you know better than to ask that, Satan
- Anon has an American flag next to their post. They aren't really Bri'ish
  
  no way 😱
- They're so dumb that they're doing it ironically
- Well of course! Facism is the solution to an overbearing government, right?
- Well the fact that they’re bigots helps them stomach it
- Which is worse, Thatcher or Farage?
  
  Thatcher, may she burn in hell, was far better than Farage. She at least had significant political skill, and an actual plan for the UK.
  Farage is a grifter of Trump's mindset, but a few more braincells.
  
  Thatcher’s thangs were thangin’ though.

American flag checks out.

Oi! Where's your greentext permit?
- Oi! where's your carpet permit?

This reminds me of how Brits were always totally obsessed with all the regulations that the unelected EU bureaucrats were supposedly inflicting on us all the time, and then you’d go to France and see kids diving off a high-board into a shallow pool contaminated with battery acid with absolutely no lifeguards to be seen, and generally no-one seems to give a shit.
- Yeah but you can't wear boxer style trunks otherwise they will shout at you. They have weird priorities over there
  
  Lol
- Not all of France is like Paris, and the Seine is not a pool. (Plus, battery acid would probably count as a good attempt to clean it up, not as contamination.)
  
  French people let their dogs shit absolutely everywhere and nobody cares. That was the really surprising thing for me.
  Paris is beautiful but you better keep an eye on where you're stepping.

This reads like a satire of those greentexts that satirize the knife laws in Britain.
- It definitely reads like it was written by an American.

Fact check: they only casually call you a cunt in Scotland
- Cunt is a greeting, not an offence.
  
  I wish I were greeted by cunt wherever I went
- True - in the south they call you a berk.
  
  In Cockney rhyming slang, the second half of the rhyme is mostly left off. In this case, the second half is left off and the first half is shortened.
  Berkley Hunt = Cunt
- Not true, it just sounds more like Kant south of the border, which I think makes us sounds more philosophical.

Conservatives making things up and getting angry about it
- TV licence is a real thing though
  
  It’s just a way of funding the BBC that was devised before a TV was something that essentially everyone had. Since it’s delivered OTA it seemed easier to tax the device itself then it was to tax everyone unfairly. So calling it a “license” is fairly outmoded, it’s really a tax. You also don’t have to pay it if you don’t actually receive TV channels.
  It should just be rolled into regular taxes now, but who is going to propose and approve a new tax in this day and age? So it’s easier not to touch it.

Queen's dodger can mean
someone who lives with the queen
someone who performs crimes on behalf of the queen
someone who finds those called for the draft but have not registered on behalf of the queen
Which is it?
- Surely a fruit filled biscuit is another possibility.
  
  "fruit"
  
  Also someone who fringes the ring quite unlike any other.
- someone who lives with the queen
  Surely that would be the Queen's lodger?
  
  rhyming slang, me ol China

Tell me about it, it's like, every time I want to get some grilled prawns there's always someone who goes "Oi mate, where's yer Barbie license?"
- And in Australia doing the same it's "Oy wait up mate, where's your Ocker licence?" Luckily we don't need barbeque licenses, tong licenses, etc. we got away from the UK to escape all that bureaucratic red tape
  
  explain NSW then, and their fun police?

Just so everyone's aware the police do not care if you have a TV license.
- Yeah, that's handled by the Royal Guard.
  
  Only their TV department though

And here's some reality of over a decade of right-wing rule https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5aJ-57_YsQ
- I vaguely knew Britain was hurting after Brexit but I had no idea it was this bad, yikes

I dont undrstand it but its funny
- To watch tv in UK you need a tv licence
  This was done as sort of a tax to fund public television without taxing people who don’t use it
  The person then concludes that they should have voted for the nazis because liberals bad
  
  I mean you do in the US as well, but it's called "A Netflix/Hulu/Disney Plus membership"
  And it only funds one channel instead of dozens of TV, radio, web, apps, weather and news channels.
  
  They're making fun of how Brexit was pushed on a platform of getting rid of overstrict EU regulations and bureaucracy (as well as a lot of overt racism) but it turned out a load of it was just homegrown British bureaucracy that had nothing to do with the EU but UKIP voters kept complaining that anything they didn't like about Britain was the fault of the EU anyway
  
  I can't believe that is a real thing.

What about the Cat Detector Van?

Literally 1984
- In 1984 it's the TV that turns you in
- you neither know what 1984 is about, or the word 'literally'.

What's next, requiring a license to make toast in your own DAMN TOASTER!?
- Give it time. It won't be a licence though, it'll be a compatible bread subscription for a discounted toaster, with government enforced felonies for using incompatible bread
  *Based on how the software and entertainment industries work
  
  Sorry if I was not clear. I was not serious when I said that. I was referencing this debate.

75 comments