"Hey Google, Turn my balls off"

Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker

There’s a big difference between this and getting snipped. The difference is, like, vast. It’s a vast difference.

After you get snipped, it's potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.

Edit: sorry for facts on shit post

I don't want a kill-switch. I want a turbo-button to slice metal sheets with a jet of cum.

i like how each tube has an individual switch. for when you only want some cum

So a toggleable vasectomy.

Trouble is you need a several days (maybe a week or more) and/or a few ejaculations to actually be sterile after a vasectomy... So this isn't the kind of thing that you can flip on in the moment and you're safe.

This, but I want the voice command changed to "Go go gadget genitalia"

wait till this comes with a monthly subscription

I discovered this amazing life hack. If you never talk to women, you'll never have sex with one and then you'll never have kids.

Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!

Hang on one second babe…

(clap-clap)

click

Before continuing, please accept the following terms and conditions.... [35 pages of legalese ensue]

Remember to flip the switch back on when you need to pee

I'd just forget which one is on and which one is off. Also I have zero need for the on setting.

Forget the Codom and Get STIs

I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?

Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?

Just redirect my urethra and install a single Y-Valve. Flip the switch up and I cum out the tip, flip the switch down and I cum out my taint.

Ultimate pull-out method.

That's either a very small finger or a very large dick

Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint

This is the real reason Data doesn't tell everyone where his off switch is.

Hook it up to a clapper and live life dangerously.

We all know pee is stored in the balls.

So this is just a piss switch.
(Which would actually be a real issue solver for folk with incontinence issues.)

Wait won't this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?

If this was controlled by your Google home, it would need a battery, which would need to be recharged. Imagine saying "hey Google, turn my balls off" and getting "I can't reach that device" because you forgot to recharge your ball switch last night.....

We're living in the future

This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.

https://www.planaformen.com/

Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.

I guarantee you the same people working to ban abortion and female contraception will go after this too.

"Mods, deactivate this man's balls."

Roses are red, this drink's made from laudanum...

Id do this if you could get LED ground effects attached to the bait&tackle, good for the dramatic reveal

Like others, I don't have a use for my balls anymore. It sure would be nice to keep them around looking good though. But anyway, could I please just get the euphoria stimulus! I don't really care for all the gooey mess.

Ya but can I have my switch installed near my taint?

They just want your money, super glue works just as good and it's cheaper, non-invasive.

Who needs to turn their sperm release on and off so quickly? I understand wanting it to be easier than surgery but no one needs it so fast that you flip a switch. Deciding to have kids is a huge decision that often takes months of fucking to succeed at.

I mean if you're that worried it'd be more effective to build up a spank bank for making kids later and then just get a vasectomy.

Wouldn’t compression of the tissue starve it if oxygen and cause necrosis?

Actually you’ll need to cum 3-5 times with the switch off to eliminate the chances of impregnating someone!

It’s that way when having a vasectomy

This is an idea from a book by john scalzi called starter villain.

Controlled vasectomy...