How do you deal with the poor and desperate around you? (Homeless or some stranger who is in an utterly helpless position)

Vote for politicians who support UBI.

Years ago, I used to live in a neigborhood just down from what they called 'the projects.' Those who couldn't get into Section 8 housing would spill over onto the streets. One time we had a pretty harsh cold snap. Several people died. A few of us started buying tents, sleeping bags, and blankets from Costco and handing them out to those camping on the sidewalks or side streets.

Now, we live in an area that has pretty good food and housing non-profits, so we donate to them every year. I generally don't give to individuals, hoping our donations, aggregated with others, will reach more people in need.

During COVID, a local non-profit with an urban garden set up an outdoor fridge and pantry for those sleeping around the perimeter. The non-profit would load it up with any excess produce. But word got out and people started donating, usually leftovers from restaurants. We started going to discount grocery stores and buying bulk foods and stocking up the fridge once a month. Took the kids and had them do the stocking up, just to normalize it.

We're beyond lucky not to be in that situation and feel strongly that we should help where we can. Paying it forward and all. I don't think anyone who is pinched should feel bad, but those who can afford it, should.

We've never mentioned any of this to any friends or family. I only bring it up here, hoping more people feel inspired to step up.

Give what you can afford. That varies from person to person, and timeframe, but if you truly have nothing to give, then you have nothing to give without impacting your own existance. Plus if you're a person living off of people's kindness and get mad when people have nothing, then they aren't the problem

I volunteer at a food bank once a week. The woman who runs it knows I encounter a lot of homeless camps while hiking with my dogs, so she has me take care packages to deliver to some of them. We are having a very hard time getting can openers, which sucks because so much food we give out is canned. I try and buy any can openers I see at the flea market. But have also purchased a dozen for people in the last few months.

There's ways to help without sacrificing what little you have to yourself. A simple greeting and acknowledgement go a long way. Don't be afraid to interact and to just say no, I've never had a bad experience with that.

You could provide information, or something that's often needed. For example get a large pack of white long diabetic socks and hand those out. If you're homeless you often can't take off your shoes, so you're always wearing them. The socks change color if something is wrong.

Personally I don't mind it if someone spends money on drugs or alcohol. I'd do the same thing in their position. It's best to just be kind and respectful.

But if it really bothers you then go for gift cards or just go shopping with them. Giving food without asking is generally not so helpful. Also keep in mind that in a lot of places people need a bit of actual cash to actually be able to sleep somewhere. For example here in the NL it's 7.50 a night. So even if you are bothered by the potential drug usage, just think of the chance that they might just as well spend it on sleeping in a safe and warm place.

I'm not sure how someone could live in a big city without learning to just walk past beggars without making eye contact. I know I sound like a terrible person when I say that explicitly, but it's what almost everyone actually does. Most other people just don't want to admit it (to others, and maybe to themselves).

Just treat them like a human being instead of like a streetlamp or something. Speak to them. Ask them how they're doing (I know the answer is probably "shit" but still, let them talk about it if they want to). I know it's tempting to just ignore them because saying you don't want to or can't give them money is awkward, but imagine being in that situation, how humiliating it must be to sit on the floor, literally beneath everyone, grovelling to strangers. Show them the same humanity you'd expect to be shown if it were you on the floor. Even "sorry, but no" is better than being ignored. Maybe chat to them about their day or something if you can't or don't want to give money. Help look up the location of a local soup kitchen or shelter or something if they don't have a phone. If they're recently homeless you may be able to give them legal advice in terms of getting a roof back over their heads (I say "recently" bc in some places an eviction notice can be used to access social housing, if the eviction was ages ago they might not have the relevant documentation anymore).

And also frankly, when I do give money to homeless people, I don't care if they spend it on drugs. If I'm giving someone money I'm giving them money. It's their money now. I wouldn't tell you how to spend your money, and I wouldn't tell a homeless person how to spend their money. If they ask for help to overcome their addiction I'd do my best to signpost them, but I'm not going to force them if they don't want it. If what they want is drugs then they're going to get that one way or another, if not with money people gave them out of charity then through stealing or something else.

As you should? You can't think like that. In a religious sense, sure. If you have two coats you stole one from the poor, to paraphrase Dorothea Parker.

But in real life, it's more like the airplane advice, put on your air mask first then help others with theirs. In an absolute sense you will be able to give more if you take care of yourself. If you only have $2 and give someone $1 of it you are an angel, but if you can make more and feel comfortable giving $10 that is more helpful to someone.

You didn't create this problem, you just live in it, and you can't single handedly fix it. Take care of yourself and give as you can, and speak out when you can.

My father once gave a guy a bill (currency) that surprised me and I asked if the drugs / alcohol possibility bothered him. He told me that if the guy humbles himself so much as to ask then he clearly needs it and that if he needs a bottle to get through the night then who was my dad to judge. It had a pretty profound effect on me.

Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t afford to donate. I’ve gone dumpster diving for food and picked fruit from trees and bushes under cover of night. I couldn’t donate a penny in those times because I was counting cents to buy small bits of food. Sometimes you just can’t take on more responsibility.

Now that I have a lot of comfort, I try to give as much as I reasonably think I can because I believe that if I’m able then I should. For instance, I will never turn down a request to buy someone a meal and I hand out cash in larger denominations than I think people expect depending on the circumstances I observe. But I still don’t give money to just anyone. If someone seems sleazy or like they’re trying to con me (it’s subjective), I’ll decline. And again, I don’t feel bad about it when intuition tells me that I should decline because I genuinely want good things for people and I know that about myself; in other words, I trust myself not to be a dick.

One other item: I once bought a woman a sandwich even though she kinda had an entitlement attitude. I got asked for money by a guy a block up the street and declined. He was rude to me as a result. I yelled fuck you at him because what he said to me deserved it. He had no way of knowing that I’d just given $20 to a stranger, but that didn’t make it acceptable for him to say what he said and I feel no regret about giving him a piece of my mind in response.

That you’re thinking about enough to ask strangers on the internet suggests that you have a good moral compass. Just try to pass along some help to others when you’re better situated in the future. It’ll be fine.

Improve your local community in other ways. Or give in other ways. Not sure what would apply in your local community - I live in rural Western Europe and that's very different from what you describe. People here set up donation boxes, swap shops, create food banks, organize markets, create safe spaces for minority groups, community gardens ... mostly volunteering time. Not sure you are in the position to do this? Sorry things are so heartbreaking. I hope we all figure this out soon.

Homeless folks aren't implicitly dangerous or alcoholics or drug addicts (and for the latter two, that's not reeeaaally your business). Many will turn to substances to ease the suffering in their lives, which is their business and their business alone.

Your 5 bucks isn't going to turn their life around or ruin it, even if they use it in the absolute best or absolute worst way. But it can ease their suffering, however they choose to use it.

That said, if you don't have the money to keep yourself and your loved ones at some minimum threshold of "life" then please, don't feel guilty for not being able to give monetarily. You can acknowledge that guilt, feel it, and let it pass by. Ultimately the system is the thing that is failing them, not you.

If you find yourself without monetary means of supporting the homeless or impoverished, but you want to contribute to the lessening of their suffering, see if there's any volunteering you can do in your local area that seeks for the betterment of their circumstances. Often your time and your energy are worth far, far more than any extra money you might be able to donate.

So I work full time with homeless people who deal with mental illness and substance use issues.

If you are struggling with surviving yourself, you can only do what you can do. This world is fucked up and you shouldn't be struggling, and those people on the street shouldn't be in that position either, and it always seems like the burden to assist the poorest in our society is put on to other poor people, because we can actually understand what it's like at least a little.

There may be times when you can only spare some change, other times maybe 5 or 10 dollars. Other times, nothing at all. If you have the ability at all, even the smallest amount can be helpful even if you don't think it will be. But, if you feel hesitant, don't beat yourself up for it. You thinking of giving ANYTHING AT ALL means you're doing more than most people would.

Also, I think it's important to try to let go of the moralistic thinking when it comes to people using the money for alcohol or drugs. People end up using drugs because of mental illness, people gave told me that at least when using they feel like they HAVE a reason why theyre hearing voices and seeing shit and its in their control.Because they lost their job due to becoming disabled and doctors won't prescribe painkillers so they have to find something to numb the pain on the street. They were a foster kid who got kicked out with nothing, no family or friends and we're physically and mentally abused for years so using drugs is the only way they know how to cope.

Another very real story I heard recently as to why someone drowned themselves in liquor for 15 years is because his nephew was playing hide and seek and hid under a pile of clothes in a closet. A fire started in the house; he was searching everywhere for the kid, and was digging and digging but couldn't pull him out before the firemen forced him to leave. So he had to stand there and watch as his nephew burned alive because the firemen would not go back in to get him. You don't know someone's story and why they got to where they are. If you don't want your money going to drugs or alcohol, you can make the choice to not give anyone money on the off chance that they happen to have a substance use issue, but remember they are people too with a lot of trauma.

I give. But also I talk, I listen, I don’t toss a coin and ignore.

I genuinely take the time to talk to someone. If they seem nice, safe, and don’t strike me as being “impulsively dangerous”, I might invite them to share a meal with me, or to a café.

Obviously I can’t do this for everyone, but when I’m low on money like you, I might literally just invite someone to my home and make them a piece of toast, ask them what their day to day is like, if it sounds like they need an old blanket, give them one if I’ve got a spare.

tl;dr I don't have an answer for your problem, but I have some thoughts on it that hopefully might contribute to you finding an answer.

I think it's probably bad to think of the homeless, etc. as being drug-addled and especially as being dangerous. Usually, if they do have a drug problem (especially alcoholism) it came after becoming homeless and not before, and functions as a way to self-medicate to ease the pain of their terrible conditions. There is, of course, a strong correlation with mental illness that they are often also self-medicating, but "mentally ill" does not mean the same thing as "dangerous". You probably don't want to have them as a baby sitter, but that's much more because of mental illness impairing their ability to care for others (and often themselves) rather than there being a realistic chance they would actually hurt the child directly.

People, religions, politicians, corporations and so on speak of charity as a great thing, and it's certainly not a bad thing, but there being a need for charity for people to survive is a symptom of a system that doesn't care for a substantial portion of the population that lives in it, and typically brutally exploiting those people. Charity is like a bandage, it can help to tend to a wound that has been inflicted, but we must ask "Why is there a wound in the first place? What inflicted it? How can it be prevented?" Your society, like mine, is organized in part to hurt these people in order to exploit them. No amount of charity can change that fact, only a change in social organization can change it.

I'll give to our local food bank. The money goes a lot farther than if I give it to someone who spends it on junk food at the corner store.

I used to ask for spare change when I was younger. Never poor, just young and hitchhiking around for fun. It's fun to have little interactions with strangers. Don't give money away that you can't afford to give and don't feel bad about it. You can give them respect and dignity just by talking to them. Yeah there are plenty of scammers out there, if you gift something to someone it's out of your hands. Don't get too butt hurt if you see them with a forty in a paper bag later. If they're not pushy I'll hand them a twenty sometimes just to see the look on their face.

I believe everyone will just take advantage of my generosity and so I don’t even bother helping anyone.

How do you deal with external problems you can’t solve around you? What is the moral thing to do here?

You don't, you deal with your internal problems, like classism, ableism, and general ignorance of these people's circumstances. Instead take the time to understand, learn empathy, show compassion and solidarity, instead of disdain. You don't have to give people money you don't have, but the least you can do is show them basic respect (no, homeless people aren't all alcoholics or addicts, but many of those who do drink or use drugs do so to try and ease the deep distress of being homeless. And no, homeless people aren't dangerous, those who create a society where they have to exist to keep people like you in line, are). (Edit to clarify: once you care about homeless people, rather than fear and/or look down at them, and understand the many reasons that lead to homelessness, you'd be equipped to actually tackle the systemic issues, but you can't do that if you refuse to see them)

You are literally a blink of an eye away from being in their shoes, act like it.

I'm on the fence about giving money to homeless people on the streets, but am all for donating to / volunteering for organizations that help them.

My reason starts with how organized and strategic they can be. For example, I was waiting at a bus stop downtown and there were three homeless people planning out which intersections they were splitting to next and how they were going to divide the total afterwards.

Second example in downtown. There's a guy begging for food in the mall, so I take him to the nearest food stand, we both order a meal, and eat at a table. He was talking about his plan to get off the streets and all and went back to refill his drink after eating. During that time, I went to the cashier for something and she told me he's with a few others that come back pretty regularly. When we get back to the table, he then tells me that he needs $10 for a place to stay for the night and then leads me to the nearest atm. Once we're there, I tell him everything the cashier told me and he doesn't say anything with an "ok you caught me look". I still give him the money even though he knows that I know he'll be back doing the same thing.

I know this is is not the case for all homeless people, such as the meal I had with one with mental disabilities, but it's a mixed bag. Just do what you can and don't feel bad if you can't.

I have enough money, so I almost always give some to people who ask. I don't ask questions. If they start telling me an excuse I say it's alright, they don't have to justify themselves to me.

I don't give a lot of money because I'm not that rich and not that nice, but $1 to $5. I started carrying more cash for this.

Anyone who's somewhat rich, in the like six figures of excess cash, is likely making several hundred dollars a month on fully insured interest. People like that can certainly spare a few bucks.

So far no one's given me much trouble.

I only believe in DTA, Don't trust Anybody. I just ignore them. My life is enough suffering for me.

Give them a baseball cap and a skateboard and if they can do some sick tricks I'll buy them some beer. If they fail, I call the cops and join in on beating the shit out of them, piss on their grave, and their family's grave, eat their corpse, sell their remaining organs on the black market, fall into drug addiction, become an alcoholic, become homeless myself, then drown in vomit.

Set aside a budget of time, energy and money to help social causes, spend it as wisely as you can, and give a hard no when someone asks for more.

You mention the alcohol thing, which is fair, although as others note it's best to withhold judgement. At least where I live there's charities you can give money to instead, which will use it to buy things like food, fuel and clothing which they can then pass along. Pro tip: I'd go with a smaller charity, since big ones sometimes get top-heavy.