Anon notices

7 insane assumptions

Has anyone noticed how crazy I am?

Plenty of straight men prefer cats too.

Obviously cats are better

And plenty of people that aren't straight men prefer dogs.
- True, but that doesn't help me espouse on the superiority of cats. How else will I gain Mittens' approval?
Cats are conflicting for me. They can be cute, but I hate when they try to walk on me. Because I know if I try to move them they’ll probably scratch me. And that’s no bueno to me, just makes me anxious as fuck when they walk my way while i’m sitting on a couch trying to relax.
- my cats walk over me like i'm a carpet. sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night with a paw in my mouth or a cats ass on my face. but they never scratch me on purpose.
- Dogs are too energetic and overstimulating for me to be around. I'm fairly allergic to them as well, so I have a decent excuse for the people who insist their dog will be perfectly well-behaved and calm (they weren't).
- Thats why you always keep the claw trimmers around and if theyre too long you push on their toe beans a bit to expose the claw, and give it a little snip. You dont get hurt and the cat now has an objective to make them sharp again over the next few weeks
- Oh my God. A cat scratch. I wouldn't wish that pain and agony on my worst enemy. I bet when it happened you had to sell that couch because of all the memories and PTSD. You don't need a cat because you're already a pussy anyway.

Makes shit up
It doesn't make sense
mfw

What's going on here is OP is making a lot of baseless generalizations.

Enby who prefers dogs here. I guess I break things?

I’m sorry, there’s a greentext on the internet that disagrees with you. You are a cat person now.
- There’s a difference between a cat person and a catperson. I am definitely the latter.

Straight man here. I love cats. But I hate litter boxes, and cats fuck shit up.

its okay. you can come out ;)
Same. Having a dog is too much like having a kid with how much attention they require. A cat even when it's being "demanding" just wants to sit on you. You don't have to take it for walks or go out and play in the yard. I love other people's dogs but I don't have time to have one of my own.

What do bisexuals and asexuals prefer? Both or neither? And bold of you to assume straight women prefer cats. Ik way more straight women who prefer dogs than cats.

Sexuality is “never” here: Cats.
my head canon is that it's whichever one shows up at some random non descript point in your life.

Fucking being only a dog or cat person. I love most animals. The only issues are whether or not I can give them what they need.

The amount of people buying birds and neglecting them is depressing. Same for dogs, but less so.

Lesbians go either way here ironically

The stereotype (that I'm aware of) is that lesbians love dogs.
- Yeah you have dog lesbians (me) and cat lesbians (my wife if she wasn’t allergic). Mind you cats love me too, and I love them back. But yeah both groups exist as internal stereotypes.

Honest (and depressing) answer: dogs are larger and more expensive, so anyone who isn't living on dual-income will prefer a cat. Being a woman is expensive, transitioning is expensive, being a guy who "just needs a bed and 4 walls" is cheaper, so dogs are back on the table.

What do women need that's so much more expensive than what men need?
- Look up "pink tax" and "gender pay gap".
- Tampons and whatever the latest trendy things are?
Doesn't explain gay men.

Families and children prefer dogs.

The correct answer is lizard. No musk, no fur, no allergens. Just needs an appropriate vivarium and a light bulb. If you design it right, you only need to spot clean once a week for what the woodlice don't take care of. Feed him once or twice a week, you can leave him alone for literal days at a time. Costs less than £20 a month in food and electricity. Landlords love them, no chance of the tank bursting and water going everywhere. Literally safer than a fish.

Best pet for the modern poor and disenfranchised citizen

i'm pretty sure that amazing robotic pets are right around the corner, but i've always assumed that they would be doggy style. this post made me realize that in fact they should be alpaca.

You can definitely get some amazing doggy style robots that'll pet you now days. What were we talking about again?
If the Internet is any indication they will be long furbys.

We're through the looking glass here people

Dogs are children who require constant attention.
Cats are adults who just want to crash on your couch.

My 8 year old toddler of a dog and my 3 month old middle aged cat confirm.

Dogs need more maintenance and care. Men are just naturally more caring.

Dogs tolerate a lot. Cats set clear boundries. Men just naturally don't care about other people's boundries. /s
- WE'RE ALL GOOD PEOPLE

Dogs require a lot more attention and general effort than cats typically. So it would make sense that the pet of choice is predominantly the one that can more or less be self sufficient if you provide it with the basics.

Dogs are subservient. Cats are independent.

A person who prefers dogs might be someone who feels the need to exert control as a means of feeling in control themselves. OR they might simply be allergic to cats.

This isn't a male-specific thing. Think of Karen with her purse-dwelling toy chihuahua mix with severe anxiety and multiple chronic disorders.

Honestly, fuck this assertion that you can somehow infer a person's motivations and morals from what kind of pet companion they prefer. I've legit seen it argued that if you like dogs and don't like cats, you're "probably a rapist" because you "can't understand consent."

I enjoy cats. I don't prefer to own one. Am I a monster because of this? How about, I just love my dog?
I like dogs because dogs like me.
- Dogs can't help but like you, no matter how you treat them.
  
  Getting a cat to like you, now, that's something you can be proud of.
Or we just like activities like playing Frisbee, flyball, agility etc.
What if I just don't like excrement in my house and the smell of shit all over all the time until I get used to it
- Then learn to clean a litter box. It's leagues easier than the work dogs require.
Enjoy your toxoplasmosis
i like to think of people who own pets as people incapable of being alone for even short periods of time, that or they just like having the company of them, it's one of the two.
Dogs are loving, cats are apathetic. People that grew up with loving parents prefer dogs as they are well equipped to provide the nurturing they themselves were given. People that were emotionally neglected as children prefer cats because that lack of bonding is familiar to them.
- Wow, being pretty presumptuous there, aren't we?
  
  Notice how I said "might" in my comment and you didn't?
  
  Maybe prefering dogs causes people to lie about having a loving family growing up? Lol