What are some positive influences you got from an ex?

My ex introduced me to my wife of 20 years, which helped me dodge a major bullet.

I'm sorry but we're gonna need some 🫖🍵 and biscuits with this comment. Like, how crazy was she? Is it true what they say about sticking it in crazy? We want details.
- I mean, there are tons of stories I could share, but the biggest one is that she did 14 years in prison for attempted unalivement of a 2 year old she was baby setting.
- Yes it's true. Avoid at all costs.

I got better at relationships. Thanks exes!

I'm positive I hate them for what they did to me and our kids. Every so often, when I feel myself slowing down a little bit or becoming complacent at what I've built in the wake of her destruction, I pull out that little coal of fury and blow it back into a roaring fire that propels me forward into the future and lights the way for my kids toward a better path than what I walked.

Gorgeous analogy. Glad you're on the up.
- Dadnalogy

I used to overthink travel to the point where I just wouldn’t do it, and had never left my country. My ex just used to see a deal online, book it for 6 months in the future regardless of cost or details, and work it out later. I used to have meltdowns. But with her, I visited 5 countries on 2 continents.

It’s been 7 years since we split and I’ve continued on on with her carefree style of organising travel. I just see shit, throw it on the credit card, and make my life align to it. I’ve since visited another 7 countries across 3 more continents.

Things I learned from my first girlfriend included "vegetarian lasagna can be tasty". We made it with chopped-up broccoli bits instead of ground beef, and it was pretty damn good.

Hear me out... use tofu instead of ricotta. I'm not even slightly vegan and I come from an Italian American family that takes lasagna seriously but I made it for my vegetarian ex and it was delicious.
- Hmm, I like ricotta, but vegans can also enjoy my favorite lasagna variation: take a few plain ordinary button mushrooms, shred them with a cheese grater, and sprinkle mushroom shreds on top of the lasagna before baking.
- I disagree with this so hard. I love tofu but absolutely hate it as a substitute for cheese. Would just taste soybeans. So disappointing when it's subbed for paneer in the spinach paneer especially.
  
  I can't make a lasagna without cheese, but do routinely make food for vegan relatives, for parties and holidays I try to make "their" food more appealing than the meat dishes, absolutely would not attempt a lasagna. Cheese cheese cheese is lasagna to me. Doesn't need meat at all but cheese oh yes.

So goddamn much. I truly believe every time you love someone you grow as a person. And I wouldn't be half the man I am today without those exes.

I learned how to run properly. Before we dated I could barely get through a minute straight of running. After he corrected my posture and breathing, i can run for miles.

I hate it, but I can do it.

Curry dishes, more self confidence, differences in political opinions resulted in my opinions on things being more nuanced and complex. Dating helped me figure out what I wanted and wouldnt put up with.

A more positive self-image and confidence.

I was taught the importance of using a daily moisturizer with an SPF. As a fair skin individual it feels like my face has stopped aging drastically since it became a routine.

Convinced me to not be bitter towards women.

How to be a strong ally and advocate, even when it conflicts with personal feelings.

Despite her feelings towards me, she remains a strong ally

How bad i am at communicating. Not all of our issues stem from this, but i did start to realize that i am terrible at saying what needs to be said to be understood.

I also found out how different people are. Everyone is motivated by something different. If you don't spell out your motives, then the other person is gonna assume they're the same as their own and completely miss your point.

I travelled quite a bit with one of my exes. This opened my views quite a bit. She's also the one who made me appreciate wine, instead of just chugging it as booze.

Same, mine really broadened my horizons and introduced me to some of the finer things in life that I would never have otherwise allowed myself to indulge.

Got my love and understanding of the Humanities from an ex.

Positive things were almost all either realizing things about me that I felt needed to be improved for when I had a new partner, or things about my next partner that I would want or not want. I sometimes wish that I'd met my wife sooner in life, but then I realize it wouldn't have worked out because of how much of a mess I was.

I have an ex who basically changed me from an older version of my teenage self to some sort of functional adult.

I learned what behaviors I absolutely should not and will not tolerate, which made my relationships and happiness better moving forward.

Me too. I became a boundary border guard. Never again. The first girl I dated after her got cancelled real quick. I didn't bother over-explaining or falling for bait to argue. I said that I need time alone, and if she didn't like that, then bye ✌️

From my first ex I learned to not be a toxic asshole and to be a better person overall. From my second ex I learned to not be an incel lmao. She taught me about feminism and changed my view entirely. And also introduced me to the amazing world of vegetarian diets!

I learned that I would be a very different person without them passing through my life