How to get over "wait mode"?
Hi all, I have autism, not ADHD (as far as I know), and I have some big issues when I'm waiting for things to happen. Like, say I have to go out at 5pm. I wake up at 10am, but I can't do anything all day because I'm waiting for the thing at 5pm to happen.
Anyone have similar experience/tips?
That one meme where your day’s calendar is blocked off with a 4 hour spiritual prep for the 1 hour activity and the rest of the day to destress
unironically basically my schedule
That's what I do anyway, I should just write it down so I can at least be satisfied I stuck to a plan for once lmao
You could try to schedule other things for you to do before then. So, if you wake up at 10am and have 7 hours until 5pm, you could plan for travel time to that event and various other things to do before then (errands, fun, work, etc). This is what I do, I have some anxiety when there's something i have to do that disrupts my routine. So I make plans for how I'll spend my time.
Like:
i will try, thank you
Super common, and I don't know of anything to get over it.
I find that reminding myself that time passes faster when I do stuff tends to help
I might be anxious about future events, but I absolutely hate being bored
As others have said, scheduling lots of things on the day can help, so it's not waiting for one thing but going to one appointment to another etc. Even if that appointment is go eat noodles or talk to friend on phone etc. But the downside is sometimes you can wear yourself out.
Lately I will also throw on a podcast and start doing chores. If I'm going to wait things might be as well be clean.
sleep is the only thing that interrupts it for me.
yea, i had moved my sleep schedule to align with when i did stuff which was later in the day, but that caused a lot of other problems so im back on normie hours
I definitely experience this. It's like decision paralysis except with anticipation.
One thing that has helped me is working backwards from the time I know I have to be somewhere. Doing this allows my to game out how much time I actually need to get ready and get there, once I understand that timeline, it makes it way more clear how much time I really have.
It doesn't always work because I still struggle with the time management a little, but it does more often than not relieve some of the anxiety I feel during the lead up.
However, no matter what I do, I always end up arriving to the obligation way earlier than I need to, lol.
ohh this sounds like a good idea, thank you
However, no matter what I do, I always end up arriving to the obligation way earlier than I need to, lol.
Same
No problem! Always eager to share some stuff I’ve learned from my decades of coping without understanding, lol. Now I have the context I needed and it’s still a struggle.
Another thing I will say is if you have a partner and you haven’t already done so, read them in on it. My wife and I have helped each other immensely when it comes to keeping these types of behaviors in check.
Good luck, comrade!
i get by this by trying to schedule everything super early in the day so the wait mode period is greatly reduced. i haven't figured out what to do when i cant do that though. it's genuinely the worst.
I usually get everything ready to leave, then I set an alarm for an hour before I have to get going
I don't have the anxiety of missing it if I'm focused on something else and I still have enough buffer to check that I'm actually ready to leave
It's pretty specific. But I started drawing my ideas. I always think about mechanical design so I grabbed some graphing paper and pencils and started doing "old school" type design sheets (lots of straight lines, measurements etc.) It fills so much time very well. If it's 10-5pm then I would have to set an alarm or I would be so focused on the designs that I miss the appointment. Not only am I getting better at drawing but I also have to do a lot of unit conversion and research on parts or how a certain mechanism works, so I'm learning a bunch.
You can always clean/organise your space. I'm bad at it but if I can get started then I have a couple of hours of deep cleaning done.
Just try starting something. Get into something and the time will go by.
I struggled with this, but I overcame it accepting that I am late to everything
i hate being late, im always ridiculously early to everything
My personal algorithm that I worked out for this is I budget 5min for every one hour block I expect the event or activity to take up. That's how early I'm allowed (and conversely how late I will let some be without being annoyed).
So 6hr event? Yeah I can be 30min early. 1hr appointment? Only 5min. etc
(except being early to parties, that sucks for the host)
I experienced this a lot, the way I manage it is by doing something I know I can interrupt quickly and come back to easily and setting up an alarm on my phone with the promise I will drop everything and start moving the second it rings. For me it works but it does require some self discipline for sure
Are you actually waiting for the event or are you doing prep work for the event?
just waiting
yeah like others have said having something else to do that day is helpful. but obviously that takes spoons. I'll try to fill the time sometimes with chores/housework so I'm not just waiting and scrolling or whatever. but mostly i feel you big time and I'm not sure how to overcome it exactly.
I really really struggle to get out of bed and do stuff when I don't have anything I need to do, even if when I went to bed I was excited to wake up and work on a project or whatever, unless theres something I NEED to do I usually waste hours sleeping in