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  • Just between us, I have been killing it at work since I got back from holiday. I haven't overdone it or underdone it, I've just done what I needed to do and kept what I believe to be a good balance. This feels like how this role should be performed and I'm feeling like I'm providing value.

    I've provided some great input in areas both within my specialisation and outside of it, seeding ideas and generating high level technical discussions. I've collaborated with internal and external stakeholders. Progressed activities and provided valuable updates to the team on current and upcoming technologies and solutions.

    Now I just need to bring that kind of energy to my personal life.. which I've started on by getting my apartment in order. Took the cardboard box pile down to recycling today and just gave my air fryer a deep clean so I can use that again without it making my apartment smell like old grease.

    I know what I should do now but it's a matter of getting up and doing it. I should go for a walk or something. Go Go Gadget lifestyle changes to promote better mental health!

  • Fortunately I did not join the no sleep gang last night (the joys of being at the start of a break from work!) so I'm nicely rested for my day of digging. I have 3 tons of soil to move (which sounds more dramatic than 2m for some reason) so should burn off some of the excess calories from last night's pizza indiscretion.

  • Portuguese custard tarts at the work caf today.

    This must be compensation for sitting opposite The Noisiest Oblivious Bitch In The World all morning

  • You know how when you feel physically sick and the meds or the hot drink kicks in and you feel momentarily relieved? That's me right now and getting the odd text from a friend and having that moment of connection and safety. Can feel the mind and heart lightening for a second like nurofen for the soul.

    I wish this kind of ill feeling was better supported... get a prescription and time off for promoting healthy social connection. Whatever it is I think my next job as an employee will need more of that, either in terms of more time outside of work to foster that or better connections in the workplace.

    • I wish this kind of ill feeling was better supported

      I do wonder whether we'll get to that point. I hope we do. And I wonder whether we'll see advancements enough where we can point to something and say "see, this is what's wrong with me right now". Having something like a sprained ankle or infection is easy - they're visible signs of why we're not physically able to do something. But if there was like a... I don't know... some kind of test that showed a serotonin imbalance (for example), you know?

      • Yeah, exactly. Of course, mental health is far more nebulous and complex, and cause and effect interactions are not going to be as predictable as with physical ailments. But there is still scope for determining an evidence based, systematic approach to recognising and supporting people's needs. There ARE things that demonstrably help, that might be more apparent from the outside - and it sucks that the onus is very much on the sufferer to carve out solutions and explain everything to others.

  • I have had to take away the bottomless cat crunchy bowl. While Bill was sensible Ted Cat was assploding from non stop eating. Now he gets 1/2 cup a day only. Ted is not happy.

  • Finally back home, whew. I'm excited to be in my own bed tonight. I hope everyone has had a great day!

  • Just perused a bunch of old letters - and I mean like, 20+ years, from when I was in high school. From friends that I no longer speak with. I distinctly remember the giddy feeling of getting mail back then. Found a learner's permit from someone that meant a HUGE amount to me, who gave me their Ls when they got their Ps.

    I do have to wonder if they've kept my replies.

    Or does it even matter? As fleeting as those moments were, they left a lasting impression on me. They shaped who I was to become. Maybe it's the same for them, maybe it's not.

    • Oh man you got me thinking about some of this stuff myself. Thank you. There's some good memories in there. As to the question, given you cant control other peoples reactions to stuff I guess its not even worth pondering. You can hope they do, but all that matters is how YOU feel about it.

      • True. There's no chance of recapturing that moment at all. Only some weird simulacra (which, if pulled off right would create its own moment). But gods! To go back to some of those exact moments. Even the painful ones that, so many years removed seem somewhat trivial yet the scars are still there.

        What's interesting is that it's a box of stuff from before I was married, and yet I've still managed to add things over time from when my wife and I were together. Old student cards and metcards with notes written on them and cheap bracelets... So even if the box itself was a time capsule of a personal bygone era, there's been a time leak? It's kind of cool.

    • I’ve got some high school stuff I’ve contemplated giving to the museum of failed relationships

      • Lol - I know, right! But then I feel like you'd need both sides of the story. Having only the ones I received and not the ones I sent, it's a little hard to piece them together (especially when they're not dated). But yeah... the majority of the ones I've kept were from what I call my "big ex", when in reality we were only together for a short time, and it was a very one-sided relationship, and then I met my wife and we've been together for closing in on 20 years.

        It was a time. That's all I guess I can put it down to hahah.

    • I had to downsize big time when I moved to Melbourne. I gave away many books that I still miss. I gave away a brand-new unopened PlayStation (first one) in its box.

      Old correspondence like this did not survive.

      I did it all again moving from Melbourne back to Perth, but that direction was far less painful. All the sentimental stuff was digital and still exists.

      • OOof... I feel this to some extent. When I kicked myself out of home I didn't pack a whole lot. This stuff thankfully was from my late teens when I was already living on my own so I've been able to carry it around with me from share house to sharehouse. But some of the stuff I had left behind when I moved out? Not quite an unopened PSOne (holy hell that hurts to hear! I'm so sorry for your loss) but a bunch of really cool toys I wish I had kept.

        And now, you're right - a lot of memories are kept digitally. I should digitise some of this stuff since if it ever went up in smoke that's it. There's no recovery for that.

  • FYI Connoisseur crunchy peanut butter salted caramel ice cream is excellent. Also FYI Ben & Jerry's anything is grainy sugary garbage and I have no idea why it's so popular or expensive.

    • I saw your double decker parma. You earnt the icecream.

      • Thank you :) That came to me in a vision and I actualised it. It was easy and great! Probably should have bothered to make some vegies or something as a side though.

    • Did you try what passes for chocolate in the USA? I tried a Hershey bar early on my first visit. It was so bad, I didn't finish it.

      Some of the other chocolate bars were ok, though. I liked the butterfinger, though I don't remember it at all, now.

      • lol oh yeah I learned my lesson about Hersheys Vomit Bars many years back and knew to steer clear. I do like a 3 Musketeers but I didn't really get stuck into the candies this trip. Oh I did have a Milky Way which is more like a Mars bar than our Milky Ways and that was decent.

  • Managed my 5k this morning. Back was a bit tight still from the weekend gardening throw-out, so took it easier....except that I then ended up getting my best split. Still a minute or two off my best from pre-pandemic, but getting there. Doggo having a good rest now.

  • The soil has arrived. While I was waiting I put down some cardboard and mulch in the front yard and got a bit of weeding done. Now I have to dig myself out - I can just get around it to leave if I go throught the garden bed, but the driveway is blocked so the car is on the street until it's done.

  • It gets a bit hot working in the full sun out there. It's lovely in the shade, though.

    I've got nearly half the soil moved and have ordered another batch tomorrow. I'll schedule a complete collapse day on Thursday, I'm really not used to this much physical work. I'm using some cheap metal edging for the sides of the raised beds, and am making a bamboo scaffolding around it to both support the sides and stop them bowing, and to allow me to put some shade over the beds in summer. It's going to work fairly well, but it's tough putting it together because all the bits want to fall over and it's not very stable. It would go much better with another set of hands to hold things, but neither Miss Meow or Mr Woof are up to the task.

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  • I finally got to sleep at 6am, at least for a couple of hours. I know that I bought some things on Amazon at about 5am for the life of me I can't remember the specifics of what I bought. I know I bought some wax melts but I forget which flavours. Wait here I'll go check what I bought, don't move.

    Edit: ok so I have bought some replacement filters for my espresso machine, nice. The 3 lots of wax melts I bought are: Sandalwood Vanilla, Peony Bouquet (wtf is this?), and Vanilla, Patchouli & Sandalwood. Should be interesting.

    • Not quite sleep deprived as you but I did buy a bunch of vacuum bags/filters while dreadfully tired last night and now I don't know why because I'm afraid they might not get here before I leave...

      • Leave? Are you moving house? I know you mentioned you're finishing up at work. Or are you getting them delivered to work?

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  • Just received a nightshift package... I now have a lifetime supply of Bundaberg Sarsaparilla... wtf is wrong me!

189 comments