5d ago

Jamie Dimon popped off at the 1,200+ JPMorgan employees fighting against full-time RTO: 'I don’t care how many people sign that petition'

fortune.com Jamie Dimon popped off at the 1,200+ JPMorgan employees fighting against full-time RTO: 'I don’t care how many people sign that petition’

More than 1,200 JPMorgan employees signed the petition to bring back hybrid work.

JPMorganChase CEO Jamie Dimon said during a Wednesday town hall he didn’t care how many employees signed a petition to bring back hybrid work. The company in mid-January announced a 100% return-to-office mandate, which angered many employees, who argue the move “disproportionately” pushed out women, caregivers, senior employees, and employees with disabilities.

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Everyone who is forced to go back should probably spend a bit of time on this site - https://specificsuggestions.com/share/EN/881.html
Slow things down, make it hurt for them. Not enough to get fired, but if everyone does it, it will affect the bottom line.

I think this is only partly about the need to keep the value of commercial real estate inflated.
I think there's a more fundamental psychological motivation.
The illusion that the C-suite actually contributes value sufficient to arguably justify their obscene salaries depends in large part on them sitting in offices at the top of a building full of workers.
If the building is not full of workers, that threatens the illusion.
- Also, people with power often like to harm people that are less fortunate because they believe they deserve it: "If they were good people, they wouldn't need to work for a living, because they'd be rich. Since they're not rich, they must be bad people."
  
  I was legitimately shocked at the cartoonishly villainous shit I heard in my brief time at an investment firm. I swear to God this is a verbatim quote from a middle-aged, white, millionaire, Mormon investment adviser:
  "There's no excuse for any American not to be a millionaire, if they'd just stop buying their cigarettes and their dope for a few weeks."
  Hand to God. It's so absurd that it sounds like a, "That man's name was Albert Einstein. And then they all clapped."-type story, but that place was fucking wild.
- He needs to feel like a big man with a big pp. The way you do that is when someone is setting up an appointment for you and says "Is 3 o'clock okay?" You say, "No, I have a meeting." That shows them that you are a big man with big important business meetings to attend with your fancy briefcase. You can't take your fancy briefcase to your big important business meeting on zoom. Well, you can, but it loses the luster. And thus we have why so many CEO's want RTO.
  Conversely, the middle management wants it because they don't want to be exposed as useless.
  
  100%
  A ton of petty, high school bully bullshit.
- fElon has proved CEO's aren't needed to run a company.

I’ve had it with this stuff,” Dimon said during the town hall, according to Barron’s. “I’ve been working seven days a goddamn week since COVID, and I come in, and—where is everybody else?
Let me make sure I understand this. You're the chief executive of the world's largest bank. You have vast resources and an army of other executives at your disposal. What exactly is so urgent that you have to work 7 days a week and why is that anyone else's problem?
Wall Street treats Jamie Dimon like he's some sort of guru but it sounds to me like he's an fucking idiot whiney baby who doesn't manage his time wisely or recognize that he got to where he is on the backs of his employees.
- Jamie Dimon is a moronic, completely useless excuse for a human. Maybe he works seven days a week because his overwhelming incompetence means it takes him that long to complete what a competent individual would do in one or two days?
  
  Or maybe his partner and family don't want him around (or vice versa) and banish him to the office.
  Either way, he is a very toxic person to be around.
- Genuinely, like, if this is true and not posturing, hire help. Delegate. Something! Don't take out your frustration about your workload on me.
- Even if he works twice as much as one of his employees, which I do not concede, he is being paid 500 or 1,000 times as much. For that much money, I would expect nothing less than 24/7.
- Yeah, a lot of this RTO business is some misguided perception that the wealthy work the hardest, and are thusly disproportionately compensated. They don't realize how hard everyone around them needs to work to keep things moving and give them their lifestyle.
  The workplace can feel like a prison for most workers trying to do their job, even if it's what they like to do. For these CEOs and people at the top, it's a space they built for themselves, of course they want to go to the office.
  
  They will fight all challenges because of this. (Remote work, higher minimum wages, universal basic income)
- Sounds like poor management to me
- “I’ve been working seven days a goddamn week since COVID, and I come in, and—where is everybody else?
  That's a lie just like Elon Musk used to regularly tell. Then in the next interview Elon would talk about how he never missed any of his kid's soccer games.
  Dimon has 3 daughters. He hasn't been working 7 days a week. He probably did it once and takes a few phone calls on the weekend and considers that "working 7 days".
  
  I work with a "high powered CEO". These parasites treat golfing, going to dinner, flying on private jets as "working".
- When I read Too Big To Fail, he came across as a massive dick.

I genuinely fucking hate this shit. Like, for real. These fuckers want everyone in the office for the most bullshit reasons. They all have their reasons and they're all bullshit. One I heard recently was "innovation happens in the office." Innovation happens by ignoring the innovations that allow us to work remotely? By insisting we all waste massive amounts of time commuting? By wasting money renting huge office buildings in prime real estate locations?
- Thing is, corporate ownership also owns a lot of commercial real estate. This push is entirely about saving that investment.
  
  It’s for control. Same reason companies support administrating health insurance. It’s massively complicated and expensive but it enables control over the workforce.
  And… it’s the physical manifestation of the hierarchy supporting exec and investor ‘king’ egos over their proverbial kingdom.
  Most execs are also extroverts and run their businesses through personal relationships and experiences. And of course, the company pays for their commutes, housing, meals, and all the other reasons you and others have posted about. It’s advantageous, for them.
  
  For companies like this, that's true, but I see this push from tons of companies who don't have a stake in that and just rent their office. Maybe it's about saving the value on long term leases for them?

I keep wondering how much more CEOs, billionaires and massive corporations (along with the current administration) can push the American people before there is a backlash?
Right now Americans are like domestic violence victims and addicts
"Jamie is a good person, it was my fault for not coming back to the office that made things worse."
"Just one more subscription, I need to watch my shows!, I promise I'll quite after this season!"
When and what is the tipping point where people just say "Fuck it, I'm done." ?
- Unfortunately if that’s the mind set Americans have there might never be a tipping point
  
  Awake the sleeping giant, look it up.
- Society is always about three missed meals away from blood in the streets.
- This sort of backlash won't happen, though. There is a conservative culture war underway and it's win at all costs, damn the consequences. These are people who will continue to act against their own self interest.

CEOs and upper management people are acting like children these days. They just want to implement things they don’t understand the consequences of, yet when they get any kind of resistance they lose their shit. I’m just dumbfounded by this behavior because it makes me wonder what could happen if these people were replaced with people who actually care about the work itself and the quality of it. Y’know, the whole reason we have workplaces.
- It's because they've been too insulated from the violence that used to be incumbent in the wake of such asinine and harmful labor decisions. The decorum of the last 50 years has led these Boomers to think they are invulnerable.
- Shareholder revolt, honestly. The rich shareholders benefit from these sorts of idiots, at least in the short term.

Man probably “works” from the golf course.

Companies are dictatorships
- Tell me JP Morgan is underwater on commercial real estate without telling me JP Morgan is underwater on commercial real estate
  
  Well eliminating a self selecting group of disproportionately high performers certainly won't hurt them long term.
  
  This is the true answer. Yes, there is some boomer powerplay aspect, but he is not stupid, he’s all about making more money.
  His rich and powerful investor “friends” are bleeding money on commercial real estate (and maybe on related investments like downtown coffee shops), they put a lot of pressure on him. I go even further, it is not a coincidence that more companies started pushing for full time RTO at the same time, this is orchestrated or at least encouraged from behind the scenes by the elite, probably also involving some politicians (who are also neck deep in commercial RE).
  Still, it is absolutely stupid and short sighted. I live close to my office, so I like to go in a few times a week, but I would never want to be there full time again.
- Another name for the list, it seems.
  
  Which list? I’m on a bunch by now
- That phrase is about to be much more literal if these people get their way
  Edit: BTW I love your username, were you inspired by Semi Hemi Lemmygod? They're both hilarious. I think the art of choosing a good name for something is underappreciated.
  
  Same person, just changed the display name :). Glad you like it!

If you have a Chase account, the best time to close it was 20 years ago.
The second best time is right this very second.
Even ignoring this story, with the collapse of the CFPB, you are about to get screwed harder than you can even imagine.

Jamie Dimon, grandson of Greek immigrants who had cancer, an aortic dissection (stress?), and returned to work in a remote capacity after surgery due to Covid?
That Jamie Dimon?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jamie_Dimon

Hey Jaime, you wouldn't have to have a giant portfolio full of office buildings by chance, would you?

In-person work “fosters a clear boundary between work and personal life, enhancing productivity and mental well-being,” Aytekin Tank, founder of Jotform, wrote in a July 2024
I wonder how long he had to spit the corporate cock out to write that line, what a tool.
- Points to 40 years of Boomers ignoring their families and having zero work/life balance because it fueled their misbegotten sense of work-ethic superiority

Time for them all to get new jobs with a competitor. Be sure to get remote work guaranteed in writing.

Democracy! (but not in the workplace where you spend most of your awake time)

What a piece of shit. Fuck Jamie Dimon.

Some More News did an excellent piece earlier this week on why "return to office" is a thing now. https://youtu.be/-JQKYzcmhyQ

That's a healthy organization: one that doesn't listen to the people that actually do all the work! I will refuse anything to do with JPMorgan going forward...

I think you misspelled his last name, it should be Jamie Demon.

If you don't care, then you might find you also don't have any employees anymore pretty soon. Hmm, where'd all my employees go...
- Then complain no one wants to work

Fuck you buddy

This is one case where I feel no sorrow. People who pursue their BBA/MBA are the worst and try to network themselves up to heaven. They chose this path knowing just how fickle it could be.
Other RTO, yeah, screw the person at top.

You know, there's a lot going on in the world, and for me, it's hard giving a damn about people who've decided JPMorganChase is the career they want.
- People have to eat. I work for an evil corporation, so I try not to be too good at my job, but just good enough to keep collecting a check
  
  You could find ethical ways to make money. It's not hard or impossible. The vast majority of everyone else on the planet seems to have found a way.
  Grow a conscious or some balls. Preferably both.

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