Liberalism is the awareness that you were born a chosen one of epic destiny, and that you are among the very special insider elect that know how the world really works. You are one of the adults in the room that get shit done because you make the hard decisions, just like your role models in your treats.
Liberalism is when you're a teacher looking after a bully and a small kid, and the bully constantly boasts that he's going to beat up the small kid, and the small kid keeps bringing the fact to your attention but you ignore him. One day the bully acts on his threats and starts to beat up the small kid, but you break up the fight. The right thing to do would be to send the bully to detention, but the thing the school administration wants you to do is send them both to detention.
Liberalism is doing what the school admins want you to do.
Liberalism is also doing what the school admins want you to do after being bitter about the injustice about their rule that stopped you from doing the right thing.
Fascism is the same scenario as the above except replace the school admins rule with something more ghastly, like you must ignore the bully or something.
Liberalism is a cult made up of people born in the astrological sign Libra. Once a year, during an October night, they all simultaneously look up at the night sky, raise a set of scales and chant their creed;
RULES. ORDER.
How can they all look up at the sky at the some time you ask? Because they're all crackers living in the northwestern hemisphere.
Liberalism is the perfection of human freedom, democracy and justice. American liberalism is a beacon of light for the world, spreading prosperity and peace to the globe. Liberalism elevates the best minds, who are capable of solving problems of racial justice, healthcare inequality, crime and violence, and rules-based international order, using informed, rational, rigorous, altruistic and beneficent thought, unmatched in human history. The only reason that anything is wrong in the world is because liberals are obstructed by those got dang Rethuglicans.
Brutal communist ideologues look for simple answers and are largely incapable of grasping the wisdom and nitty-gritty details of the absolute infallibility of the process of gradual reform, and the absolute superiority of means-tested market-based solutions for all social, economic, geopolitical and environmental issues.
The wisest and most effectual thing any person can do with their life, other than running for office in the Democratic party, is to vote Democratic. There is no greater service to one's country, and it is your social duty to uplift these people who know what's best for all of us.
Liberalism is when wholesome small business landlords have their voices heard.
Communism is when it is illegal to have joyous hearty laughter and a jolly good time (the foundation of landlordism).
It's actually improperly capitalized. It should be LiberALism. Now that I've corrected that, it should be very apparent:
LiberALism is the belief that famed pianist, Władziu Valentino Liberace, will one day reappear in the US state of Alabama and lead his faithful fans to a promised land of pure melody.
Liberalism is when you land on boardwalk hotel and owe 2,000.00 to the smiling jackal sitting next to you. You start to beg but they just say "Sorry rules are rules" so you mortgage nearly all you own and are short $4 and they just say "Sorry, rules are rules" so you mortgage Baltic avenue and still have a few bucks left over. Bank error in your favor collect $200.00