$500,000 or a dinner with Kim Jong Un?

Dinner, the movie rights alone for my subsequently ghostwritten My Dinner with Jong Un book will go for more than $500k

Wallace Shawn as kim jong un

I'll take the dinner offer and then ask to stay forever.

ARTICLE 26. The D.P.R.K. affords the right of asylum to foreign nationals persecuted for fighting for democratic principles or national liberation movements, or for the interests of the working people or for freedom of scientific and cultural activities.

i don't think posting counts
- They’ll just do some beforehand!

Dinner with him so we can laugh at the memes I have about Fail Korea on my phone.

He'd probably already know them.

I have a feeling like he could be a top poster on Hexbear.
- obv we recruit him as a power poster at the dinner with sick ass memes

$500k, wtf do I have to say to Kim? What would he have to say to me? I like Korean food but I can get great as Korean food like ten miles from my house.

$500k on the other hand would fix most of me and my families problems for a while, maybe even leave me with a little to throw at some leftist org.

$500k, wtf do I have to say to Kim? What would he have to say to me?

Me: "So uhhh, how is it being the head of state?

Kim: "이 사람이 무슨 말을 하는지 전혀 모르겠습니다."
- "Kim, please help me settle this struggle session on a niche communist internet forum I post on! We very much respect your opinion!"
  
  "Outdoor cats? What the fuck does this have to do with communism?"

Money is temporary but quality Korean food lives inside me forever.

Money can buy many Korean food.
- Dinner with Kim cannot be commoditized by your worthless fiat dollars. The spirit of communism is too strong.
I think a laxative may be in order

You're all fools for taking the 500k.

I take the dinner with Kim and I ask him if we can take a photo (or photos) together that I can show the dogs of the American empire upon my return. Hopefully he consents.

I then log onto Twitter and post the pic with the caption "Great dinner with President Kim tonight! The US could learn a lot from a leader like him!" and wait for the underpaid CNN/MSNBC/Fox/etc interns to hit my DMs like "Hello ABC can we speak to you about your dinner with Secretary Kim?"

I only appear on networks/talk shows/etc that agree to pay my $10,000 appearance fees. I am set for life being the guy they bring on the network as the 'NK Expert' anytime North Korea's in the news. I only say good things about Kim.

smuglord

You gotta end every interview with a cliffhanger. Just casually drop "and yeah, their teleportation tech is really catching up. They can beam rabbits now."
"The ABCs of The Hermit Kingdom with abc"

I dont speak Korean, so maybe the 500k. But I could also flip a meeting with KJU into 500k, cuz im just built different

$500k and then use it to get to North Korea or Dongbei and then be their version of Yeonmi Park (except actually accurate)

$500k easy

500k. I don't speak Korean.

Actually, with 500k I coould get a ticket to Korea and invite Jong Un to dinner or something. Who knows, maybe he'd say yes, idk what the guy's schedule is like.

I'm sure he speaks English. If anything his Kino dad showed him some movies.
- Went to private school which was taught in english despite being in switzerland.
- I think his Kino dad was more interested in Korean/Cantonese/Russian/German-language films than the English-language ones.

Dinner. He will find me incredibly charming and will let me stay in NK and talk shit about America, like a reverse Yeonmi Park.

$500k, I could use that as a condo downpayment!

Probably the meeting if Kim Jon Un shoots the shit with me in English. It's probably be one of the most interesting things to happen in my life and I could probably leverage it to make more than 500,000 in the long run by doing interviews/writing a book IDK/having a podcast.