Kind of cute but also kind of sad. Love is sometimes also a leap of faith and trust. It seems like they never really trusted each other, or themselves, to still love each other.
Personally I think marriage is not about force, but about trust. It's a confession of trust in your partner.
It's a little hard to tell if the idea is that they at some point realize this will be a running joke between them but both agree that they no longer really believe it, or if each time they say it, it's because they truly don't want to commit to advancing the relationship.
Or because they are traumatized from childhood of abandonment and have learned to take the option of being abandoned into their own hands as a self defense mechanism.
Yeah, we can't hear the tone in their voices, but these little jabs would make me concerned if they weren't clearly joking. I'd feel very insecure if my wife were constantly reminding me that she's ready to bolt at a moment's notice if things get the slightest bit tough. We'd never have made it this far if we weren't willing to work things out when the future looks bleak.
Why would one want to do this leap of faith if one can be happy without it? I'd rather have the relationship be based on regularly renewed interest than a leap. I don't want someone to stay with me because of a past social success certificate. People change, you can't predict if you'll have the same feelings in 3 years. If it is still there great, if it's not, I'd rather not make things administratively complicated on top of the rest.
It’s absolutely guaranteed you won’t have the same feelings. People change and the new relationship dopamine wears off after a few years.
However, building a life together is a special thing in its own right and that takes commitment to stay together and work on the relationship when times get tough.
I think that OP is talking about the commitment of marriage more-so than the actual document making it official with the government. I like the comic as a sweet notion of finding love when you weren't looking for it. But a relationship without commitment and without the security that your partner would allow you to grow and change as a person and still stay committed would be hard to stay in realistically.
I'm not sure I'd agree that a relationship with so much uncertaintly is that wholesome. I know I'd lose sleep if my partner kept telling me this is just a for now thing but still expected commitment.
The christian marriage (i left the church) or the legal one (a legal hassle)? Too bad there's no confessionsless marriage like there are funerals. Because that's something humans do, even without believing in a higher power.
It's not a confession of trust. It's stepping on that bit of piled up grass and hoping there isn't a bear trap under it when you're in the woods where bears are hunted.
The uncharitable perspective: This kind of attitude makes long term relationships harder. If you have severe uncertainty about your future with someone, why should you buy a house with them? Or make mutual sacrifices for the sake of mutually desired goals? Why should you not seek someone who seems to be more determined to spend a long time of their life with you?
The charitable perspective: These people have been hurt by the unrealistic expectations of how romantic love is portrayed in media, and are now overcompensating. This may lead them to not to live their best lives, but it protects them from falling into an inescapable pit.
Many people expect the perfect relationship/marriage to happen to them, like it’s destiny.
But the truth is that a good marriage is something you create! Much like freedom requires constant vigilance, marriage requires constant positive input. But then the second fun truth is that once you start doing this, it becomes a fulfilling part of your life and not some chore you have to remember to do.
Going through some mental health struggles, and figuring out what it really takes for my particular brain to have a positive fulfilling life, it definitely changed how I view and approach my marriage.
I don't think that's the charitable perspective at all tbh. A charitable perspective would be that acknowledging "true love" isn't a thing and all love can end is a healthy way to look at things. If it's an all prevailing thought that you never stop thinking about or letting go of, not so good, but if you're just keeping in mind that even the best relationships can fail, and nothing is fated, then you're far less likely to overlook fatal issues in your relationship that would lead you to staying in a toxic one. And wanting an easy way out if it does become toxic is never a bad thing, because like it or not, that can happen at any time, no matter how compatible you were before.
My ex and I had an amazing relationship for a long time. I thought she and I might be fated to be together. But one day, things just started going down hill. Life stresses started building up, expectations of what we wanted from each other started to diverge, and we started fighting, a lot. Still, we wanted to believe it was fate, and that it'd work out. We had so much in common, we'd done great so far, so we should be able to make it through. But things only got worse and worse.
The thing that finally broke it up was when my now girlfriend tried her best to attempt a polyamorous relationship with us, and ended up realizing it was toxic as fuck and stealing me away from it.
In my new relationship, I've found it a powerful tool to remember always that there is no fate, something could happen and we could break up. I'll enjoy it as long as it lasts, maybe forever if it does last that long, but letting myself believe that's definitely gonna happen just isn't healthy.
Personally, I don't need romantic, I just absolutely do not want to end up in a relationship that's effectively entrenched warfare. Both parties having the option of leaving, keeps one another on their toes to make the relationship work. And if it still does not work, then leaving is absolutely a form of conflict resolution. Yes, that comes with concessions, but I deem the alternative too risky to even consider.
No matter what kind of relationship you are in, both parties always have the option of leaving. Wearing a ring doesn't change it. Getting married doesn't change it. Signing a document doesn't change it.
Ceremonies and legal documents can make leaving more difficult - because it creates a risk of social or financial punishment; but whether that's a good thing is subjective. The people in this comic are of the view that they should only stay together if they both continue to be happy with their relationship. And I think that's a fair enough perspective. No one wants to be stuck in an unhappy relationship, right?
I was shocked by how different romance is in real life than media. For example, my parents had their wedding booked before my dad actually proposed. And for me, there's rarely a set time when a relationship begins. Just a friend you know just begins getting affectionate and then you're spending more time together and being affectionate back. Or maybe I and my family are just strange. Who knows.
Their relationship seems healthy enough, doesn't it? They enjoy each others company, and they treat each other well. So is this unhealthy fear of commitment? Or is it explicit acceptance of uncertainty?
I'm mostly imagining what my reaction would be if one of my friends described a relationship by saying that if it isn't fun anymore they're done, but they're also thinking of moving in together. Major red flags.
Uncertainty is a huge part of life, but a large part of a relationship is being someone else's certainty. No matter what happens, you're there for them, through everything.
The relationship in the comic is cute because they made it, but I wouldn't hold it up as exemplary or healthy. Most people who treat relationships this way don't have relationships that last. They end up out their security deposit for breaking a lease on an apartment after a surprisingly nasty breakup.
They are acknowledging the inherent mortality of relationships, and they seem to be doing fine together.
There is always the possibility of shooting yourself in the foot and being too scared of the relationship ending and screwing it up that way, but there's also the possibility of it ending because you ignored the risks and warning signs.
It's about striking a balance, and that balance is gonna be different for each relationship.
i like this different perspective because ive seen people delude themselves into falling in love with the most insane, horrible people by spitting out all this commitment and lovey dovey crap. an ex friend ruined our friendship for this awful dude that she got engaged to after 6 months. this way you know you're your own person and that both parties are here willingly. not to mention it makes you keep your game up :)
Exactly. This type of uncertainty in life isn't fun. Not communicating or setting expectations about a relationship, it's just awful. I'd understand not marrying, not having children if it was discussed beforehand and agreed to. But this whole spiel of "I don't really care about you, you could leave at any time" or "we are not dating", is very manipulative.
Its deliberately pitched as ironic. A lot of this "will we / won't we" happens in the first few months, and the author has stretched it for comic effect to juxtapose it with the "time flies" feeling old couples can have looking backwards.
For folks who are used to meeting, dating, and breaking up every few months, a committed relationship can come as something of a shock. I was in and out of relationships for most of my twenties, and I definitely sympathize with the first - like - row of these panels. Finding myself in a happy, committed relationship one day, with a partner who felt the same way was surprising.
But as soon as you're moved in together, its pretty plainly established as serious.
This is pretty much how my relationship with my SO started. I just came out of a bad relationship where I was cheated on and met her, and told her in no uncertain terms I was looking for nsa fun and nothing else.
That was in 2008. Never married but still (happily) together with a 13yo son.
Me and my most recent partner also started similarly. Both had harsh breakups about at the same time, got into a FWB relationship, on date 4 I think we were both like "this is clearly not a FWB relationship". We talked over what we wanted to do and both decided being partner-partners sounded good. Shortly after they invited me to join them out of country for a week and I was like fuck it, this will either go very well or very poorly. It went very well. Now my damaged self is trying to figure out when or if I should tell them how much I'm falling for them
What's the punchline? The guy was zoned out on the computer the last 25 years and wasn't aware of any relationship whatsoever? I still kinda don't get it.
It's observational humor about how some people are so afraid of committed relationships that they have to slowly work they way into it. Which is funny to watch from the outside, since it's clear to everyone else what is going on. Obviously if you haven't made such experience yourself or observed situations like that, that joke wont work for you.
I feel called out on this one :D For years we were like "Marry and have kids? No way, we're way too irresponsible ourselves!" After 14 years we thought we might as well marry. And now it's been (counts on fingers) 27 years, and we have three wonderful kids and couldn't imagine any other life!
This is very much what my wife and I were like when we started dating almost 20 years ago. Granted, I gave up the game when we got engaged, and she did when we got married. :)