I thought I was alone

I am vacationing in Florida and a few days ago this guy swam up the drain and into the bowl.

There's no reason why a snake could not do that.

Yeah but it's Florida, not a civilized place.

Cute toilet freg though.
a commode toad!
- Happy cake day!
Forget the racism and the bigotry and Ron DeSantis and the humidity and the palmetto bugs...

For this reason alone, I am never going back to Florida.
- My real question is "did the chemicals in the toilet water make that frog gay or not?
I have lived in Florida 90% of my life. I have never had a frog swim up the toilet pipe or even ever seen a frog in a toilet. How does that even happen?
Squee hes adorable

If you are worried about late marriage you can easily avoid it by going straight to cats and a manfree lifestyle.

Cool, but to make room for the cats I had to flush all my snakes down the toilet. Am I doing this right?
- Oh shit, flush the snakes?? Not the husband??
Worst thing for women's friendships is marriage. Stick with your fellow ladies. Live in a big house together and embrace the sorority lifestyle. Reject the Patriarchy, abandon legal monogamy, and embrace Amazonian thought.
- This sounds awesome. Can I become an honorary woman so I can get in on this? I come with a 100% little brother vibes guarantee.
- Please 🥺

New bottom surgery just dropped!

Anyone have any tips on how to un-read a comment?
- Come on I write way more unhinged shit >:3
This could save Americans millions in health care costs!!

What does 'late marriage' mean? Like getting married when you're older?

Doing it at like 8pm. By the time it's over and you're done with the reception it's too late to hop a plane and go on a honeymoon.
- OMG yeah, what a nightmare. I hate getting married after 8pm. It's so inconvenient.
Why wouldn’t someone want to get married late? Like, they’re too old to have kids? If they wanted to kids wouldn’t they get married sooner? Or adopt any time? I think person is just talking about themselves.

Well, nickname checks out, I guess

Kid on my street got bit on the ass while peeing in the woods and died. Valid fear.

Guy, had a similar fear all growing up too, except that I was afraid it’d bite my butthole (no idea why there, but whatever), not sure how I ever got over it.

Let me know if you ever remember how
Don't call your future partner "it"
- Unless you want a cool nonbinary objectkin partner

New fear unlocked

I saw a horror movie as a kid where a guy was killed by something (snake, maybe) when sitting on the toilet. It made me very anxious when using a toilet for a long time. I think the movie was dreamcatcher based on the Stephen king book but I was only 6-7 when I saw that part so I could be completely wrong.
- You're remembering correctly. That's how the first character dies in Dreamcatcher. Stephen King was recovering from a car accident and was on oxy when he wrote the book if that helps explain anything.

Spiders swarming out of the toilet and killing me has been in the back of my mind ever since I saw Arachnophobia as a kid.

Only a hidden snake? What if they weren't hiding?

That's just Ralph the Toilet Snake.

He guards the knife.
- I have a toilet snake. You can buy those at any hardware store y'know.
If the snake wasn't hiding and she saw it, then she was asking for it when she sat down.

I blame Ghoulies especially because of the cover.

Honestly thought it was a Gremlins movie cover until now, but man if seeing that in the video store aisle didn't make me slam the lid on the toilet and run out and slam the bathroom door as fast as I could for several years...

This movie scene had me double checking the toilet before sitting down for at least a decade.

The rat in the toilet in Raymond Briggs' When the Wind Blows freaked me out for years afterward and I still occasionally get a little freaked out about it.

Bathrooms make me anxious enough in general as it is.

I'd rather the snake.

Easy, just don't be holding the bad-luck teddy bear while your friends are scamming a magic bank out of some magic batteries.

rotfl after watching porky's as a kid I always had to double-triple check when using the bathroom https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsM9IcT-WHE