If the "Republic of Gamers" was real, what would their elections be like? Who would be the candidates? Parties? What would the big issues be?

Every attractive woman female is legally required to have an OnlyFans but also having an OnlyFans is illegal

Libertarian Party of Gameria (Libertarianism) - 27%

National Party of the Gamer Nation (Fascism) - 25%

Neoliberal Party (Liberalism) - 20%

Conservative Party against Wokeness (Fascism) - 13%

Incel Revolution Party (Anarcho-Capitalism) - 12%

Map Gamers' Communist Party (Social Democracy) - 3%

Government Coalition: LPG + NPGN

Reminder that Gamers hated The Wind Waker when it first came out, they can't be trusted on anything.

andrew yang as president, elon musk as vp. official country name: confederate states of america. no parties, they transcended that

Pewdiepie is appointed Supreme Führer

Work for citizens would be a nightmare. Don't like the dangerous conditions of your workplace? Git Gud. Work hours too long? Crunch time son. Reducing your pay to the point where wage is non existent you're just working for rent for your landlord and nothing else? Thats just grinding. You also have to pay for your own safety equipment hell aircons and healthcare are probably hidden behind a paywall. There will be a lot of farming.... Like in gaming but..... Yeah Also you don't really own much not really. The product you are buying becomes shittier with each patch. You know..... This sounds too familiar

It wouldn't be a republic, it'd be like a complete mockery of the roman empire where it's got none of the historic achievements, developments, or basic functioning civic society, infrastructure, or bureaucracy to maintain it, but be everything bad about it cranked up to 11. And whichever poor gamer becomes emperor is gonna get assassinated in the most embarrassing and accidental methods by everyone around him ankle biting their way to the crown in an endless crab bucket session. Bread and games will be replaced with doritos and league. The water pipes will be made out of lead, which funny enough is probably the only thing that they get exactly right in their recreation of the roman empire, but will pipe an acidic poisonous cocktail of mountain dew, G-fuel, and guacamole gamerfart 9000. The Patrician caste will be made up of streamers and the plebian caste will be made up of wanna-be streamers, and the slave cast will be a mixture of people who become parents because the empire is ran by adult children and 3rd world serfs wearing metal parts and aluminum foil being forced to say robot things like they're musks robots. It would be ready player one without any of the virtual world computer bullshit crossed over with idiocracy but somehow the citizens of 'the republic of gamers' make the people of idiocracy come off as reasonable people in comparison. All politics is banned because we don't want politics in out videogames but we'll be completely myopic to the usual shit we whine about when given a shiny enough toy like the hit TTRPG turned into a vidiyagaem Heimdallr Bridge 69 or hit rougue-laek oubliette-crawler Ploútōn with it's soon-to-be-released sequal Ploútōn 2. If you do include politics in your videogames we will shit outselves trying to cancel you for exposing us to eldritch Lovecraftian concepts beyond our grasp, like women and feelings! Also we have several political factions, ignore the part where we said all politics is banned, where we are constantly at internal war against ourselves. These factions range from capital G gamer sweatlords, casuals, weebs, Vtubers, furries, MLP stans, people who enjoy LARPing WW2 a bit too much, facebook gamers, phone gamers, and gamers who deny the fact they're gamers and swear a blood oath to dunk on gamers for being gamers despite being gamers themselves. Generally speaking, everyone other than the sweatlords and those WW2 larpers who seem to enjoy being the bad guys a bit too much, actually don't do any internal warring or anything but tend to keep to themselves, but because I am a sweatlord who enjoys WW2 Larping, I like making sure they all feel included in our conflicts whether they really want to or not.

Well time for another round of gaming. See you on Battlefield, Gamer!

The actual game Battlefield btw, I'ma send you a Vapour invite so we can smurf some plebs on Shiver Stream Live

Javier Milei

One of the founding documents of the "Republic of Gamers," predating its charter but enshrined in Mountain Dew and Doritos Present Republic of Gamers Hall of History and K/D Ratio Excellence Prepare To Die Edition and Knuckles, would be this:

"The Red Pill is 120 thousand fit college educated middle class men. If we really wanted to we could invade New Zealand and install a new government. We definitely have the manpower. There are plenty of veterans here. Plus everyone here knows where the magazine release is on an M16, from years of playing Call Of Duty.

Realistically the Red Pill Reaction Force would be far more effective than half the world's militaries. The Afghan military is fucked up on opium. The Iraqi army cant even do jumping jacks. . Plus New Zealand has only 8 thousand military personnel the majority of whom are useless paper pushers.

I don't actually support the violent overthrow of New Zealand. I just think its kind of a fun idea conceptualy."

There would be mandatory microtransactions and they would STILL refuse to say capitalism is a problem

It already exists:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Politics_of_South_Korea

Video Kojimba as the President. Presidents get elect by how high their scores are in Battle Painters.

The big issue would be whether age of consent laws apply to video game characters

knowing the average gamer probably the Big Tiddy Party vs the Huge Ass Party and 99% of political discourse is around advocating for more cleavage

The election would be based on score on guessthegame which naturally i would win and then I'd send them all the the gamer gulag and give the state to Palestinians.

This is because i am the one true gamer

Capital G gamers? It'd be Ukraine or Israel.

Based gamers? They'd +2 whoever did the better conservative Yoda impression.

The big issues would probably be everyone's CPUs catching fire due to mandatory shitty BIOS updates from the Central Authority, since citizenship requires purchase of an ASUS ROG motherboard rig. Ironically, after each update, there would be fewer and fewer s due to entropy as they choke to death on the magic smoke released from their surprise-overvolted CPUs. :steve-burke-shining:

They'd be in a giant pissing contest to determine with a pretense of "meritocracy" who among them belongs in the most True Hardcore Epic caste, which of course would be their ruling class.

Likely some MOBA/soulslike hellscape with actual murder and sabotage because of the stakes involved, lots of cheating (that would be ignored or punished arbitrarily depending on the popularity and clout of each esports warrior doing it), and ultimately the most sociopathic assholes would come out on top.

Not too far from the current state of the world overall, except more cringe.

There is constant religious conflict (console wars) and hiper infliation (future video game bubble/crash) and mass unemployment

The big issue is how many times per hour are you required to use the gamer word.

excuse me mxs officers @gwordcountbot@hexbear.net and @gwordcountbot2@hexbear.net this post right here

It would exist for a minute or two then I'd nuke it with every nuclear device on the planet