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Lord Of The Rings Memes @lemmy.dbzer0.com

PugJesus @lemmy.world

1w ago

WHERE'S TOM

51 comments

I'm sure the Tolkien nerds can convince Amazon to make an entire series about Tom.
I mean it can't be much worse than Rings of fucking Power...

TOMMM BOMMMBADILLLLL

Well...
Since they didn't get trapped in the barrow downs (and subsequently saved by Tom) they didn't find the barrow swords, specifically enchanted to be effective against the ~~which~~ witch King.
When merry stabs the ~~which~~ witch king therefore nothing should happen.
literally unwatchable.
- I don't know, which king?
  
  haha oops
  
  "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"

Why didn't just Tom wear the Ring as he makes passionate love with his wife, so he can force Sauron to watch.
Sauron, who is a virgin, who never had a gf and was dismembered and reduced to a giant eye by a fucking human would realize he is nothing compared to Tom, whose girth is beyond even Eru Ilúvatar's comprehension.
Wishing to die but unable to kill himself as he doesn't even have a fucking hand to pull the trigger, he would order his orc armies to piss on him, so that the flames of his eye can be extinguished and his mind can be set free of Tom's all encompassing girth. His spirit would be released to the boundless void that ripples and contorts with Tom's mighty thrusts and he would find no solace.
Edit: When Tom thrusts his final thrust and shoots a billion Bombadillos deep into Goldberry's loins, the impact would shatter Sauron's soul into a billion Saurodillos and he would be free. When this happens, not even the wisest can tell.
- Babe wake up, new copypasta just dropped.
  But also, the ring has no power over Bombadil, so Sauron would see nothing.
  
  Babe wake up, new copypasta just dropped.
  I have added this to my copypasta repository. This needs to be made official somehow.

He really isnt, outside the plot point of where the dagger that killed the witch king came from.
The Scouring of the Shire, on the other hand...
- Those poor Hobbits

I read the books twice. I will never get those hours slogging through Toms chapters back and he was entirely irrelevant to the plot.
It was like a fever dream that could have been written off as a mass hallucination of the hobbits after Merry and Pippin share some weed they stole from Gandalf.
- I will never get those hours slogging through Toms chapters back
  And they're so near the start of the book too, before anything really interesting happens. I nearly stopped reading there. (I didn't stop only because I had enjoyed The Hobbit so much.)
- Me reading all of Bran's chapters in ASOIAF. On rereads I literally just skip his chapters it's so liberating. I just pretend he died when Jamie pushed him out of the tower and the story plays put exactly the same. (Also I haven't watched the show yet no spoilers pls)
  
  When you watch the show, stop after season 5 and pretend it was cancelled. You will be much happier in life this way. And skip the commentary halfway through season 5 as well...

smh the haters in the comments don't seem to be Goldberry appreciators
- This Goldberry does not appear to be slender as the willow-wand. This Goldberry be thicc.
  
  That is not how I imagined Goldberry

I skip all his songs. Page ahead. And I will continue to do so.
- Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
  Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
  Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
  Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
  There my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter,
  Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.
  Old Tom Bombadil water-lilies bringing
  Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?
  Hey! Come merry dol! Derry dol! and merry-o,
  Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!
  Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
  Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.
  Tom's going home again water-lilies bringing.
  Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?
  
  Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?
  No.
  
  Tom's in a hurry now.
  This is proof that Tom is a filthy fucking liar, everything he does takes forever for no reason at all.

Tom's the best you goddamn ingrates
- Anyone who says this is just coping. Hate them if you must, but I would pity them.

I fucking hated the Tom Bombadil character, he's an insufferable annoying twat with all his bullshit singing, I'm so happy he wasn't in the movies.
- Even worse... they put him in the SHIT television series
  
  LOL they put him in the show? Now I have a reason to watch more of that horrible garbage.
  
  He’s awesome in the show.

Wasn’t his purpose to give the readers a break and to give Gandalf enough time to do a misadventure?
- No, his purpose was to show there was a wider world and a deeper history to Middle-Earth than we got to see in the books. Tolkien was dropping hints like that all over the story; Tom was just the biggest one.
  It also was the way Merry got his special wraith-killing sword, and it gave a bit of a glimpse into the limitations of the powers of the ring, foreshadowing Sam’s ability to give it up freely.
  
  It's also the very first time Frodo puts on the ring.

Bullshit. Tom is just an obnoxious character.
- Okay old man willow
  
  I have been an old man at heart since I was a 14-year-old girl. So thank you.

51 comments