There is a hunger that can be met only by the cheapest and gaudiest of wraps

— "And what's in that container over there? The brown one with a few too many edges."
— "Why that "container", detective, is my Tesla Cybertruck, of course! I suppose you don't see cars of this caliber around these parts very often? Just the other day I wrapped this beauty in Mirror Rose Gold and put matching 30 inch dual tone wheels on it, just as a little personal touch. Do you like it?"
— The car's design is aggressively flawed, an affront not only to the eyes but also the art of engineering. The multitude of sharp edges around the vehicle's body and the inflexibility of the chosen materials are several disasters waiting to happen to anyone wealthy and foolish enough to get inside of one. Also, needless to say, its sheer hideousness cannot be overstated.
— It's an idiot's idea of the car of the future.
— "Well, it's certainly a... unique design."
— Ask for the keys.
— The keys? I don't want to drive this thing. It looks kinda dangerous.
— But look at that coating. That fresh, radiant, glamorous Mirror Rose Gold coating. Do you not feel its seductive pull? Do you not hear its siren song? It yearns for us. It's begging for us to do what must be done. Just imagine the thousands upon thousands of Reál that were spent to apply these colors. Now imagine the satisfying scratching noise as you slowly tear through it like a hot knife through butter. Imagine the glee of unearthing the stainless steel underneath the paint. Imagine the possibilities.
[Savoir Faire: Medium] Ask for the keys for the Mega Rich Light-Bending Guy's Cybertruck.

— "Mind handing me the keys for this bad boy for a moment, mister?"
— "Oho, do I see love at first sight? Wanna take her for a ride, detective?"
[Drama: Success] — "Yeah."

Mirror rose gold so you can see the emptiness in your own eyes every time you approach the altar of worship. It’s the ark of the treat covenant.
- You might as well have a rose-tinted reflection of yourself.
  
  but can it also change the smell of your shit?

this one neat trick cybertruck owners DON'T want you to know about

At least it won’t rust
- unless water gets trapped under the wrap and then it'll rust spectacularly
  
  To that end, how the fuck do they screw up stainless steel so that it rusts?

I guess its an improvement?
- Couldn’t make it any worse …

I'm pretty sure I saw one of these shitboxes with a car cover over it outside a local apartment building recently.
- Landlord no doubt
  
  idk there's a certain kind of elon simp that I could see spending half their paycheck on the payments on one of these every month. But you're probably right. Just hard to imagine a landlord storing their cybertruck outside facing the street, not in a garage.

When I was a lot younger I used to joke that Teslas were iPhones on wheels... The joke now sells itself

I'd like to have no thoughts about his ever again

You're gonna have to
me for this but when they're wrapped i kind of like the look. The bare stainless just looks like shit but a camo wrap or something, idk, it shifts my perceptions. Someone should make a real car with an angular low-rez aesthetic.
- Brave for telling the truth
  It's fucking hilarious they were unable to see that very easy fix for the vehicle and people would be less able to talk shit on it
  
  I still dislike it for the fact that it doesn't even try to absorb impacts and instead is as rigid as possible. The drivers are at risk in crashes but more importantly, any pedestrian, commuter, or other driver is at grave risk in an accident.
  It's a car for people who don't care about the well-being of others.
  The visual design is not even a little bit why I dislike the cyber truck.
- It's like putting decent textures on a PS2 model

Wasn't this car a secret unlockable in Stunt Race FX?
- Fitting, since it handles being exposed to water about as well as a Stunt Race FX cartridge

Actually looks pretty cool in that color, except for the ugly ass wheels.
Shame it's still a poorly constructed death trap, twice the weight and four times the price any truck needs to be, primarily marketed as a dick wagging extension for the most obnoxious people around.
- Yeah, i could fuck with something vaguely like this, like a more angular version of the smooth future pod cars in 90s sci fi, if it was a real car.