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  • Scariest animal I’ve ever seen was a bull elephant in musth. Imagine an elephant but with 100x the testosterone, pissing ketones out of its permanent boner and oozing protein out of its temporal glands which are so swollen they’re pressing on his eyes causing constant pain and pouring into his mouth. They charge and kill pretty much everything shit is like Jurassic Park

  • Chimpanzees. They're hateful little bastards that both know how to and deeply desire causing you the most misery imaginable. They'll tear iff faces and chew your hands and your balls off.

    And they're fucking jacked and smart enough to make plots against you. They'll try to trick new zookeepers by hiding behind doors so they can attack them.

    Fuck chimpanzees, I hate those motherfuckers so much

    • Yikes, I didn't know they did that shit! My local zoo has a no direct contact policy with their gorillas and chimps. Gotta hand it to Jane Goodall!

      • Gorillas are more straight to business. They usually dont wanna fuck with you, but if they do, they'll just flatten you and be done with it.

        Zoo gorillas though, I dunno. They're probably bored and pissed off

      • Gorillas are chill. They've got that wayyy stronger than anything around them but also eats plants Chad vibe. There had only been a single death by wild gorilla on record ever and it was in 1916 and dude was seemingly threatening some babies in a VERY specific wrong place and time situation. He was torn limb from limb and it was probably horrible, but gorillas overall are very gentle dudes.

  • I'd have to go with something like tapeworms. Drawing a blank on specific genus and species since it's been years since my microbiology courses, but the things acute parasitosis can do to the body is some body horror stuff. They're so unassuming and yet everywhere. That said, there is a part of me that thinks worms ::: spoiler spoiler in the eyes has to be pretty wicked to experience POV. ::: . A close second has to go to the classic unleashed dog.

  • A deer skeleton standing on it's hind legs and walking like a man, shrouded in black tatters and brandishing a blood crusted scythe

    Also it's at night and there's a full moon, but it's cloudy so you still can't see very well

70 comments