Skip Navigation
135 comments
  • We have 2 major incidents

    First one:

    Dude A lends Dude B some money, relatively small amount, pretty sure it was less than $50. Dude B decides he's not going to pay it back, so like mature, reasonable teenagers they decide they're going to go to the park after school to fight about it.

    Dude A is not a big guy, he asks Dude C who is a giant of a human being to come along just to make sure he doesn't get killed, sort of a referee to pull dude B off of him if things get out of hand, not expecting him to step in or lend a hand or anything.

    Dude B apparently has a different idea about how this is going to go down, and has a few friends come along with him with screwdrivers and baseball bats and other such improvised weapons.

    Dude C sees this as they're about to walk off the school property to fight, and does his job, takes these weapons, throws them in his bag, throws his jacket over the protruding bat, and they're about to continue on their way.

    The school, however, got word of this fight about to go down, and a bunch of cops show up.

    Dude A lucks the fuck out and a passing senior he kind of knew pulls him into her car and assures the police that he wasn't involved in this clusterfuck. None of the other kids give him up and he gets off scott-free and cops never figured out who the last unnamed party to this was.

    The rest of them are all taken in, questioned, and receive their various punishments. Dude C gets the worst of it since he's the guy who's now holding all the weapons. He goes and spends a year or so at an alternative school, and is allowed to come back partially on the condition that he joins the football team. Our senior year we proceeded to win 0 football games, so fat lot of good having a giant on the team did.

    Apparently dude C had misled his friends about how much money this was over, when informed by the cops that it was over like $40 he flew into a small rage, threw some things around, then calmly sat down and said "I have been misinformed"

    Rumors of course start swirling and the truth gets very lost to the point I heard a version of the story where Dude C attacked the cops with a samurai sword and tried to flee on a motorcycle.

    I'm pretty confident that this is a pretty accurate version of events though, a couple of the involved parties have all told me pretty much the exact same story, and it's relatively unspectacular compared to some of the embellished versions I've heard. It's also pretty much in line with what I know of their personalities.

    For the most part, these kids weren't dangerous, I don't think any of them really had any other significant problems for the rest of their school career, and I'd describe most of them as nerds and generally decent people, some of them have some mental/emotional baggage, and couple that with some hormones and being stupid teenagers the stars just kind of aligned in the wrong way, and for the most part none of them held any significant grudges against each other and could probably have been considered friends to some extent afterwards.

    Second incident:

    I'm home sick one day, my mom worked at a school in our district, my sister was in school this day.

    The phone rings, it's an automated message from the district. Something about the district being made aware of a threat to the high school, but that everything is under control, there's no danger, etc. not a lot of details.

    Call my mom, she doesn't have much more info than I do, she's, not particularly worried, but of course a lot of parents panic and go to pick up their kids. She texts my sister to see if she wants to be picked up, she declines, she's having a good time, it's her and like 3 other people left in her class, they're chilling and watching movies and such, there's a news crew and some cop cars outside of the school.

    Having nothing better to do, I'm going through all the news I can to figure out what's up.

    Eventually, it took a few days for all of the details to emerge, what we managed to piece together was

    There was a kid who was planning a shooting, tried to recruit another kid who turned him in. Cops raided his house, found a bunch of airsoft guns, flea market swords, a half-built pipe bomb, and one gun (that his parents bought him) with no ammo.

    This kid had been pulled out of school and was being homeschooled because of bullying. I didn't know him, he was a few years younger than me, but from what I understand from people who knew him he was mostly bullied because he was an unlikeable racist asshole. The short bit of attention the media gave it tried to make it out like he was bullied for being fat (and let's make no mistake, this dude was fat he may have been almost as wide as he was tall) but from the stories I've heard of him from before this happened, if any kid ever deserved bullying it was him for being such a major asshole.

    I wouldn't really mention his fatness, except that at some point during the trial and such, his mom (herself a very large lady) got in trouble for trying to smuggle him food, which was just icing on the proverbial cake.

    The kid who turned him then went and broke into his house a little while later and tried to steal his Xbox or something.

  • This happened the year before I moved to the school, but at the beginning of the new school year I heard a lot of whispers about it and once saw a teacher shut down a conversation amongst a group of students about it.

    So only ever hearing this third hand, it went something like this: a group of jocks abducted one of their friends after school one day. They took him out to someone's farm land blind folded, tied him up in a tree (or on a cross) and terrorized him by doing crazy shit like running a chainsaw close between his legs.

    The kid they did this too immediately became an outcast skater punk who played in the local metal band. I got to know him a little bit through my girlfriend at the time and he was really cool. I have no idea why they did that too him. I don't know what, it any, punishment was handed down to the perpetrators. I know the school district wanted to expel them but it didn't happen during school.

    It was common that year for kids from the neighboring town to drive by and yell stuff like "HEY LET'S GO CRUCIFY ONE OF OUR OWN PLAYERS!"

    I also got reprimanded by a teacher for joking about kidnapping a friend of mine in order to force him to pay back the various $5 he had borrowed from everyone in our friend group. It was 100% a joke of course but I didn't realize what poor taste it was at the time.

  • Ok, this happened in another school near my own, a catholic school run by priests strict to the point of unreasonable, asshole-level old school strict, they even applied corporal punishment every once in a while.

    The story spread like wildfire, there were a ton and a half of cross-school friendships between that particular school and mine. This was "somewhere in Mexico", to keep it anonymous.
    Strap in, it's a long story but it's a doozy.

    There was this really overweight kid, he wasn't bullied or anything, he had friends and everything.
    One day in the middle of class, he raised his hand - "May I be excused? I really need to go to the restroom", and the dismally unsurprising response was - "Certainly NOT! Learn to hold it in! bE a MaN!" A few minutes later, a foul stench spread across the classroom. The kid didn't say anything, he just got up and walked out, as everybody stared in a stunned silence.

    Everyone in class stormed the windows from inside to see the kid as he walked across the school yard towards the restrooms, on its' own building, and locked himself inside. One classmate suddenly yelled out - "The shitter!", and within a few seconds the entire classroom joined in a loud chorus - "THE SHITTER! THE SHITTER!"

    Par for the course with these sociopathic and incompetent priests, everyone knew there was no paper in the restrooms, a common occurrence.

    This poor kid stayed locked inside the restroom as a teacher here and a priest there knocked on the door and attempted to negotiate. This went on for a couple of hours, until the kid's brother arrived at school, walked across the yards, carrying a fresh change of clothes, knocked on the restroom door and was let inside.

    By this point, everything in school was at a standstill, every single student in every single classroom was glued to the windows, staring in silence. You could hear a pin drop. Then the door opened, kid and his brother walked out, and headed for the school exit.

    Then one kid shouted - "The shitter!", and now the ENTIRE school, from every classroom window, joined in the chorus - "THE SHITTER! THE SHITTER!!!"

    The poor kid never did return, he transferred to another school. On the one hand, surely out of shame, but on the other, because the casual, mindless and indifferent cruelty the goddamned priests imposed on children. In a more empathetic, humane school, this would have not happened.

    Here's the cool epilogue - when this kid attended high school some years later, nobody bothered him about the incident, he had his own band of friends, went to parties and everything. When the story was told, the emphasis was on the asshole priests. That's a comforting thought.

  • A girl got killed by a school bus.

    She had been cheating on two different guys, and they found out while on the bus. They started to fight, and the driver pulled over to kick them off. While the driver was pulling away, she decided she wanted to watch the fight. So she forced the doors open on the (now moving) bus, and jumped out. Apparently this was a semi-regular thing for her to do.

    What wasn’t regular is that, upon landing, she tripped and rolled under the bus. The rear wheels ran over her head, and she was killed.

    The school offered a day off of classes and free grief counseling for the students who were affected. Suddenly, everyone who had ever passed her in the halls was her best friend. It also started a “careful that you don’t get hit by a bus” trend among students, where pretty much any activity was countered with some form of “make sure you don’t get hit by a bus!” Going to basketball practice? “Don’t get hit by a bus on your way to the locker rooms!” Need to go to the library? “Make sure you don’t get hit by a bus on your way!”

    It peaked when a student asked a teacher to go to the restroom. She was always a very prim and proper type. She quickly answered “yes, just don’t get hit by a bus on your way.” She quickly realized what she had just said, and looked horrified, which just had us all rolling.

    • The "week of fights" as it was later called, where we went on soft lockdown four days in a row due to community violence. First time was because a guy with a crowbar was trying to break the front door windows of the school to get in. His brother or something was going to fight someone and I guess he wanted to be there to help. The other times were also due to fights involving members of two families if I recall correctly, it was really weird.
    • One student threw a textbook of another student on the roof of the school, who just so happened to be affiliated with some gang. He and his brother beat him up outside my bus, where a well-placed punch sprayed blood on my window.
    • Star basketball player decided it would be a good idea to commit armed robbery the day before graduation.
    • A twitter account was created that would post the name of a senior girl and their "rank" in terms of "hotness" a few times a day. No one could figure out who was behind the account, although I think there was a shortlist of potentials.
    • Another twitter account was created that looked like the school district's official twitter page, which posted that school was canceled due to snow. Well about half the kids believed it and didn't show up, so the school was a total ghost town that day, and none of the teachers did any real teaching since most of them had so few students
  • A day before I got in a guy set fire to the trash in the chapel. So I befriended him immediately!

  • When I was about 11 or 12, my class had a PE lesson, only to find Jess Taylor and Luke Jones, (who were in lower sixth, about 16 or 17) naked and kissing in the equipment cupboard.

    Literally no one who was at the school at the time does not know this. Those of us fairly near the front got an eyeful of Jess and Luke trying to put their clothes on as fast as possible. Jess was certainly an impressive and memorable sight, but Luke was as you might expect he would be under the circumstances, which was, from our perspective, of epic proportions. As they finished pushing through the crowd one of the boys in my class called out "respect the dong!" and it broke the shocked silence and we all lost it laughing. Someone else called out "respect the rack!" which brought more laughing and some cheers.

    For a while my year group (mainly the boys) called out "respect the rack" or "respect the dong" at play times if they were spotted, but Jess clearly didn't like it so we stopped and left her alone. Luke, though, always took it with good humour, so for the next year and a half until he left the school, we said it to him whenever we saw him at break, but in the corridor where teachers might overhear, we just said "respect". He would always agree and say "respect" and he gradually turned from being a joke hero into someone we really thought was a great guy for having a sense of humour about it all and engaging with us as if we weren't the idiotic easily amused and insensitive little brats that I later realised we clearly were.

    We found the phrase "How big was it on a scale of 1 to Luke Jones?" endlessly amusing in almost any context, like "look at this spider!" "how big is it on a scale of tiny flea to Luke Jones?" or "I was walking home and this massive lorry passed me and the pressure wave nearly blew me over." "How big was it on a scale of Ford Fiesta to Luke Jones?" "Oh, Luke Jones, definitely Luke Jones" "Respect the dong!" "Always respect the dong."

135 comments