Security!

With his fragile ego, I’d spend the entire time asking if he could smell that awful smell. I’d ask him to check the bottoms of his shoes, drawing more and more attention and increasing his discomfort, all the while pretending that I’ve never heard of Elon Musk.
- Putting this tactic in my back pocket for uncomfortable social interactions.
  
  The only way to survive uncomfortable social interactions is to become one with them.
- "That's okay, I forget to brush my teeth some mornings as well."

I'd like to think that I'd find a quick easy way to Luigi him but I know I'd just stare and look around for his security and be questioning my life choices that I was in the same room.

Why the fuck are you spending so much money getting to a dead planet when you could be spending money to save a living one?
- There’s no magnetic field. What’s his long term plan there?
  My guess is it’s a billionaire “I wanna” thing and it goes no further than that.
  
  Add more magnets.
- Cause no one owns mars yet.
  Pretty obvious answer.
  
  That we know of yet
- Essentially, space / mars have no laws.
- He is not even expending on Mars. He is just saying he is expending on Mars in order to get funding a be more rich.
- Because it's better to have a backup than to put all your eggs in one basket.
  
  Leave Mars alone. It is deeply immoral to send people there now. People have no business going there until we have thoroughly explored it and ruled out the possibility of indigenous microbial life. By studying such life, we may prove a second Genesis or prove the theory of panspermia. Either would have profound implications for our knowledge of the abundance of life in the universe. If we contaminate Mars, which sending humans would inevitably do, we may have to go all the way to another star system before we get another chance at answering these questions.
  Let the billionaire space cadets stick to the asteroids and the Moon. Leave Mars the Hell alone. If after a few centuries of exploration we've thoroughly ruled out the presence of indigenous life, only then can we consider putting actual human beings on the surface.

I would ask him who he is. Then when he gets upset that I don't recognize him and he gives me his name I say "hmmm, never heard of you."
Watch is ego implode.
- "You look like a guy I saw in an episode of Rick and Morty" Smile "Elon Tusk?" "No Mr Poopy Butthole"
  
  No this can't be right, Mr poopy butthole is a good and likable character.
- "Musk? Like the supermarket grade perfume? Did you know musk comes from glandular secretions? The word comes from 'testicle' because the gland looks like a scrotum." Give a couple of sniffs... "Oh wow, that's amazing!"

I’d slap him. I don’t fucking care, I’m dying from societal neglect and welfare failings and like literally 0.00001% of his wealth could fix all my problems, you have to be inherently selfish to hoard all that wealth (not to mention be inherently evil to get it in the first place).
(this is a joke, I wouldn’t put it past Musk for suing for verbal assault or something)
- fuck being sued this country needs a story like that in the news
- How can you slap?!
- But first you gotta ask him "does your mother sew?"

"how bad is the kompromat on you? Were they teenagers or like much younger?"

"What happened to your concern about climate change?"
Followed by
"You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet. And for what? A slight to your ego because Biden gave you the cold shoulder once? You are a huge thin-skinned bitch and will be remembered as one"
- Shortest answer is always money. The richest man got much richer and plans to get richer yet after this.
  https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/economy/elon-musk-put-277-million-into-the-election-he-s-200-billion-richer-this-year/ar-AA1vTrEZ
  Elon Musk’s net worth has climbed by more than $200 billion in 2024, a massive increase in the same year that the world’s richest person spent at least $277 million backing Donald Trump and other Republican candidates.
  The bulk of the increase, more than $170 billion, has come since Election Day.
- You've completely debased yourself by supporting the one guy who will destroy the planet.
  He's going to make millions and get disproportionate power in government that he never would have gotten otherwise.
  
  *billions
  
  He's also attached himself to a fickle narcissist with a long history of throwing people away like tissues when they become slightly inconvenient, even at the cost of long-term value.
  Musk knows that if Trump ditches him, he loses a hundred billion + in stock paper value, pretty much immediately. That's a lot of leverage and a lot of reason to stay on his good side.
  It'll be interesting to see how it plays out.
- Oh, he knows about climate change. Even if he was ever on the side of fixing it, he's clearly trying to just save himself now.

pretend not to know who he is
- And then call him Leon.
  
  "aren't you that Leon guy?"
  
  Leon? Oh are you the owner of the UK restaurant chain?

If my reaction the first time I saw a cybertruck IRL is any indication, I'd scream.
- Mine was point and laugh, but I would react the same if seeing him IRL.

Just prerend you dont know him, and just refer to him as this "new older intern"
- Just chat casually pretending to have never heard of him and keep striking nerves by talking about stuff like family and friends and casually talking about things he thinks he understands but correcting him about them.

- Thunder!

Do you follow this Elon guy on Twitter? He says the stupidest shit.

"Hey, does this rag smell like ~~chloroform~~ neurotoxin to you?"
- I know we're not supposed to invite violence. So this is pure satire ;-)
  huh, I guess that your pericardium isn't stab proof. Who would have thunk?

"It's obvious you're just mad that your daughter is trans and that Grimes left you, everyone can tell"

"How's the catgirls thing going?"
- trans catgirls for more trolling

Your face looks weird. Have you had surgery?
- Maybe an allergic reaction? Oh shit, you really should get that checked.

Who did your hairplugs? I'd probably get my money back.

I'd just leave myself. Words mean nothing to fascists; I'd be wasting my breath and sitting at his table.

Show him this picture and just ask "Why?".
- "Matrix"

I would literally pretend I had absolutely no clue who he was or any familiarity with any of his "achievements" or why they're "important". It would be pretty funny to see him try to respond to that.

"Oh, I know you ! you're that Ironman guy who can't build himself a flying armor ?"
- More like, you're the guy dancing on stage with that orange pedo
  
  Elon is friends with Gillaines Maxwell, himself

Lol you think his 24 bodyguards will let you near him?
- Hes desperate for attention, hed love you to talk to him.
  Probably not so much once the awkward questions started, though.
- Tell him you have a-grade ketamine...

What's a stab wound feel like?

Does this rag smell like bromine to you?

Tell him about trains without saying trains and hope for the best
- Just a normal train, but it has RGB lights and a touchscreen on each seat...

"Can I have a dollar?"
If he says yes, and give me a dollar, I'd wait for him to put his wallet away and then ask,
"Can I have another dollar?"
And then do this on repeat until he stops.
- "No sorry, I only carry hundred dollar notes with me."

Move my seat behind him and flick paper footballs at the back of his head.

Remember when most people who had heard of you liked you? Wouldn’t a genius be able to keep that good image?

Lean over and whisper in his ear, "everyone hates you."
Something that would just..utterly fuck his brain for a while. If there was something that would motivate him into an Ebenezer scrooge character arc, I'd be so down.
If I had stealth techniques available to me, i would consider it.
- "At least Pvt Manning traded her mental health for doing something heroic. You went crazy for whst? Financial gain and more kids to hate you?"

"How was it servicing trump?"

The only question I'd have for someone like him is.
"Do you think even the worst person can change...? That everybody can be a good person, if they just try?" And then I'd try my hand at fighting him after I got through the Sans Undertale speech.

You do realize, until you get help, you're always going to hate yourself; you'll never be happy. Right?

Elon, if you developed a really ferocious strain of ass-cancer, do you think it would affect your entire body?

I keep a Ka-Bar on my desk at all times, it doent take that long to bleed out when the artery in the kneck in severed.
- Woah, we got a real badass over here.
  
  Nah, just got a lot of knives. Mostly use the Ka-bar for opening cat food and food packaging, because I have destroyed so many shitty folding knives. Also I use it for opening bottles.
  As for the artery thing I was going to make a choke about Musk having a weirdly thick neck but I forgot it and just kinda left the comment.

Why do you think nobody has killed you yet?

Can I please be seated anywhere else

It depends. Am I armed?

"Trump surrounds himself with Yes Men who constantly just kiss his ass.... Is that why you two get along so well?"
Or on a more realistic note I'd ask him about climate change and try to understand what twisted logic he's using to justify his actions.
- You’re giving him too much time to explain his stupidity.

"How many billions is enough?"
I'm guessing the answer would be something like "It's never enough."

I would kindly ask him to shove a cactus up his ass :3

"Bet you can't end world hunger"
"Excuse me?"
"So, Bezos was right?"
"Now listen here you little shit.."

You've gone from being perceived as an inspiring intelligent neurodiverse outsider, to an evil good for nothing oligarch. Can you imagine what the impact would be if you would announce tomorrow, that you would give all or most of your shares to the employees that work for your companies, and you would state to the world that having (hecto)billionaires is dangerous and immoral, and that being one you experienced first hand that it is psychologically harmful, that you lost sense of who you were, but now want to return to your innocence.

"Hey, man, like what the fuck? Actually tho."

What's it like to have all your kids hate you?

I'd ask for his wife's number

Excuse me, but you look familiar. Where do I know you from? Elon Musk? Do you sell perfume? X.com? Is that a porn site?

How's your family?

"I brought you a cup of hot novachuk tea."

"One day a man invited him into a richly furnished house, saying 'be careful not to spit on the floor.' Diogenes, who needed to spit, spat in his face, exclaiming that it was the only dirty place he could find where spitting was permitted."

Can I ask the question with my ass? I would rip the loudest, wettest, stankiest fart and then blame it on him.

I’d ask him how his values were so easily changed by a comedian and his roving troupe of rude boys.
- Musk: They weren't, I just stopped lying about them.

Impossible. I’d never put myself in a situation where it’s possible to sit next to this asshole.

"get out of my sun"
- "Your bones will look the same as the homeless guy out front's"

"How many of your kids hate you?"