Mine's a teaspoon

I explicitly purchased identical cutlery and gave away all my old mismatched cutlery.
- I tried to buy another identical set of cutlery because we needed more and the two version while looking identical on the package and being from the same maker are dramatically different in reality and it makes me crazy.
  
  Yes I did the same, bought a whole set of a big brand so I could easily get replacements and additions if needed. Some time later I decided I needed more spoons so I bought another set of 10 spoons of the exact same brand and set name. Turns out the spoons are slightly different in the handle, bugs the hell out of me.
- Yes, one of my most adult-feeling purchases was a full cutlery set for 12, and basically a cabinet full of different types of plates and bowls, all in sets for 8 ppl, from the same design series. I love this stuff way more than I ever imagined.
  
  How many times did you use it though?
- I also only use rounded handles. For some reason flat ones drive my crazy! 😅
  
  I’m the exact opposite. Maybe because my rounded ones are god damn heavy. Can’t use them with a plastic bowl because it’ll tip it over.
- This is the way. Same for socks and dishes.

Got a butter knife that looks the same but weighs nothing. Drives me nuts.
- My favorite spoon is made of really low quality aluminum and weighs nothing!
  
  we had an aluminum teaspoon once, don't know where it went but it's on the top 10 of my favourite objects.
  weighed almost literally nothing and always catched me off guard. i love it.
  
  Trivia. Aluminum was once the most expensive, and thus prestigious metals on the planet. The king of France would dine with aluminum cutlery as a show of opulence.

Taking this post as a platform to rally against cutlery that isn't fashioned from a single piece of metal but has a useless metal or plastic handle. When you take them out of the dishwasher, a pool of warm, stagnant , vaguely soap-smelling water will pour out onto your wrist and wet your sleeve and my week is ruined.
For the record, I haven't experienced this in years but I carry the trauma.
- Or the very first time you discover you hate those when the tines end pops out into your food and sludge from the handle falls in after it.
- ✊

Laughed, then saw the community… uh oh

Mine is a butter knife. I had a poor quality and overpriced meal at a restaurant and stole it in revenge. When I got home and started using it I realised that every single thing about that restaurant would always be atrocious and nothing would ever make it OK to eat there.
- My wife works in retail and a lot of employees in the service industry have main character syndrome and probably aren't accommodating of people with autism and unusual needs.
  I used to think it was insane that people were afraid of getting their food spat in for asking for no pickles but I get it now. My dad would always resist making special requests like that when my autistic sister was a boy because she had a consistency thing about pickles or any other changes in the consistency of food and our dad would always make excuses about it taking a long time. She worked in retail for a long time and there are absolutely employees who are petty enough to spit in food over simple requests like that because "it disrupts their system."

I bought us a nice, thick , chromatic set.
kids lost a spoon here and there and now... we have this hodge podge of shit silverware.
when grabbing for me, I reach for the chromatic set every time.
the other ones are mostly too sharp around the edges, too heavy, or just too flimsy.

That's bizarrely specific yet accurate. For me it's a spoon, but only because I somehow lost every single fork I own and had to buy a new, matching set.
- I've kind of made it my mission to buy orphaned utensils that I like, so my drawer is full of mismatched stuff. I have stuff that matches too, of course.
  
  Always good to have a strategy.

One day my wife had enough and threw out all the mismatched cutlery, so now we have everything 100% matched.
I married the right woman.
- Yes
- A matched set has its own problems. For us, the pattern was discontinued right after we got them. Over the years a bunch of spoons disappeared and we needed more serving utensils but there was no way to keep a matched set. So far we mostly do without, but we have to consider the possibility of having to replace the entire set

It's usually a handle issue
- Weight balance is important tho

It's a proportions thing. There's a very specific size and shape of fork that I like, and it shouldn't have decorations on it. Just stamped sheet steel.
- Seems reasonable enough

That bastard right there!
- I'm just staring

For me it's one of the two sets my parents use. One set is smooth, shiny, and nice to hold. The other has lots of detail which looks neat, but is unenjoyable to hold. So I avoid them whenever I can.

I have 2 different sized spoons that don't match the rest. I can't use either of them, even if it's the only utensil I need. I also have no idea why I don't just get rid of them instead of making sad panda face every time I accidentally grab one of them...
- Because my wife gets mad and ask where her stupid fucking forks are!
- I have 3 tablespoons that don't match the rest of my silverware and I have no idea where they came from. I guess someone brought a spoons to my house? They all offend me and I bury them under all the other spoons to reduce the risk of picking one up.
  Like you said, I don't know why I don't just throw them out.
  
  We have two forks and two spoons that don't match the rest. We went on a weekend trip somewhere and forgot to bring utensils. Instead of getting a 30 pack of stuff and have a lot of wasted extras, we found individually priced metal utensils (like 50 cents each). But they are much thinner/flimsier. So now I actively avoid them, but also can't bear to throw them away.

Damn you guys are making me doubt my sanity way too much with these posts…

I don't have a single metal fork in my drawer because I have some kinda weird issue where metal cutlery touching each other or my teeth makes me want to die :(
- Does it send shivers down your spine? I get that quite a bit.
  
  Yes and it makes my teeth... Itch? But in an almost painful way. I mostly just use chopsticks and bamboo cutlery at home. I ask for plastic at restaurants lol. It sucks but it is what it is
- there are certain forks i cant use because i taste them. i inspect eat fork i grab thoroughly
  
  Sometimes I can smell them and it makes my mouth water in the worst way that I can't really explain. They smell disgusting. Don't even get me started on silver cutlery ugh it's so strong and nasty. I also don't like touching loose change too much because it stinks. Metal has been bullying me my whole life lmao

That fork has too long prongs and they curve... inwards. Brrr...
Loving the engagement in this post btw
- Its the corners on the butt that would make me trash that bastard.
  
  Oh ewww, didn't even see those
- You're a wizard if you can tell that from this image...
  
  Eh? It's pretty visible. Maybe "taper" is the correct English term?

I don't understand people that like big forks and big spoons like why
- Big hands
- My largest spoon is just funny. I don't like eating with it, but I appreciate that it's not small enough to be a spoon while at the same time not being large enough to be a ladle.
  
  Is that an American thing? In Australia, a ladle is the kind of scoop-looking spoon with a handle that goes straight up. What you would use to serve soup. We call spoons that look like big desert spoons ‘Chef’s Spoon’.

Fsck that fork specifically

We call ours “special fork”.

Does it count if by 28 I have one fork I like and the rest I only tolerate? My preferred fork is a plain one, not unlike fourth from left while all the others are more textured than any of those present here. I'm used to them from having forks like that all my life but I like the simple one most.

Mine is a spoon that is different from all the other… and it is specifically for cat food.

If I had to use a teaspoon as a fork I'd hate it too.

Someone put a tiny camping cutlery set in the drawer. I balk everytime I accidentally grab the baby fork.

I only have one left out of the set that I like from my parents’ first marriage.

I've disowned that plate. Its only duty is to support the hot plates that come out of the microwave. It's become the Cinderella of my kitchen.

Report: I'm in this image and I don't like it.
- Good. I uploaded this specifically for you!

A couple of years ago I threw out all my old basic cutlery (forks, spoons, butter knives etc.) and bought a whole new matched set of good quality. It cost less than I imagined. Never had a single ounce of regret, I love having a nice matched set and not having to dig through to get out a good pair for dinner.
The old stuff got donated to a local club, who were happy to have it in their big pot of cutlery.

I don't know why this is a universal feeling.
Anyway, managed to almost get rid of my Wrong Fork last week.
- The Wrong fork is my wife's favorite. She's weird that way.
  
  Is your wife Autistic as well? I’ve found sensory stuff can often be at exact opposite ends of a spectrum. My (also autistic) partner prefers the thin metal stamped forks and I prefer the weightier cast metal ones. We both can’t stand plastic handled forks though!

- Yes... 40+ for me. A fork with one wonky leg.
- Great question! Why any number, really?

Throw it out?

Mine is a three pronged one 🤮

Haha it's true. I've always had hand me downs and I finally got the first time bought a set. It's pretty glorious. Side note, definitely hammy downs in my head)

i have a single fork that has 3 prongs that I think I got from a thrift store and i just hate using it cuz the tines are too far apart. Yet I've kept it for a decade
- Now's your chance. Throw it out, before it figures out what's going on.

I have a compulsion... At every restaurant I go to, I inspect their fork. Specifically, I check to see if the tines are aligned. If they aren't, the first thing I do is start bending them so that they are aligned. I do it subconsciously if I'm by myself. But in polite company, often I cover my compulsion by making some sort of joke about being a food blogger or similar.

I started this in toddlerhood lol

Nah, it's not with the others.

Mine are a whole category of forks and spoons. I want my forks and spoons to have a completely flat underside with rounded corners. The underside should not be concave because it makes the edges of the fork or spoon too sharp and dig into my finger bones too much. A convex underside puts too much weight onto the center of the surface making it uncomfortable for my middle finger then as well. Oh, and they have to be completely smooth with no texture because I don't like rough textures rubbing against my fingers while I eat.
- I absolutely approve of and second your analysis of the perfect fork / spoon handle :)

I have a whole set that I HATE. I put them in backward so I don't pick one up by accident.

…wait this isn’t a neurotypical thing?

All of mine are literally the same as each other lol.
- yeah, mine too. if i lose one, im either going to have to throw one of each the other utensils away to keep them even, or get a whole new set.
  
  Lol I'm not quite that extreme but I get it
  
  Lol I'm not quite that extreme but I get it

In my previous house we had utensil fairies who willfully would hide all the forks or spoons around the house to thwart our use of cutlery for eating. They fixated on one or the other, so our draw would be flush with forks but lacking in spoons or vice versa.
Eventually I just gave up and started supplying new infusions of new flatware. As the internet matured (and with the help of girlfriends in the restaurant industry) I'd find restaurant suppliers who'd set me up with just spoons or just forks, rather than full dining sets.
After seventeen years of this, I left, with the war for cutlery ongoing.
- ... If I had this my home would become difficult to burgle as I'd have invested in a set of security cameras. I'd have to know where they go when they disappear.

The thin one! I need my fork to have some heft to it so I don't think I'm sticking a galvanized aluminum abomination in my mouth.

That is an ugly fucking fork.

Chaotic neutral.

It fucking sucks I don't even know why I just hate it with a passion
- Obviously the only sane option here is to keep it in your pocket when you visit a friend, and sneak it into their silverware drawer when they go to the toilet
  
  Wow, I have some friends this would drive literally insane. I'll have to consider this carefully.
- When I was in undergrad, living in dorm... We used to throw forks at the bulletin board for fun, trying to make them stick. I recommend this as the ultimate fate for your unruly fork.

I got rid of the fork I hated, but I have a spoon I love.

Fortunately, trash can is nearby

My forks are all the same except the ones my gf brought when she moved in. They have flames on them and I'm jealous.
- Is your girlfriend Guy Fieri?

Mine are two very different steak knives. One's got a plastic handle and really fine serration on the blade and it is terrible at cutting steak. The other is effectively a fucking hacksaw with a wooden handle bolted around the tang and it is a horror to behold. They're for when we need a knife and don't want to involve the good cutlery.
- Please share a photo of this hacksaw knife
  
  , but it's massive compared to everything else we have in the drawer. And it's really, for lack of a better word, rough. The bits don't fit together right and it mangles steaks. Good for getting Nutella out of the bottom of the jar, though, so it gets to stay for now.

my forks are okay but ive got some dodgy spoons
- I've got some great spoons, but there's that one spoon that just sucks.
  
  oh yeah there totally are good spoons and bad spoons
  
  The one that did a few rounds in the garbage disposal. Only then back side was damaged, so it all looks fine until you put in in your mouth.

My roommate added a fork to my silverware drawer. It was probably thrown away.

I have a fork that I can't stand. The prongs are completely flat, but it still has the bend between the handle and prongs. I hate holding it

Why do you have my forks? I thought I had a very unique set.

1st fork on the left - I have 1
4th fork from the left - I have 1, this is my favorite fork
Middle fork- I have a handful
2nd to last fork on the right - I have a handful, decent forks.
Not pictured - that piece of garbage that I have no idea where it came from, that's somehow simultaneously too small to fit in with the other big forks, and too big to fit in with the small forks. And to top it off, its shape makes it terrible at twirling spaghetti. I seriously don't know why I still have that piece of junk.
- Seeing the commonality of this subject I'm almost thinking I should get a shelf and a few small object display cases (ex those used to hold signed baseballs) and have a shelf of shame for bad objects.
  
  That'd be pretty cool honestly. "Stuff of Shame" vs "Stuff of Fame".