[Short Rant] I'm deeply uncomfortable when people take pride and comfort in being fetishized.
[Short Rant] I'm deeply uncomfortable when people take pride and comfort in being fetishized.
[CW: Fetishization on the Basis of Identity (Race, Transness, Etc.)]
I'm mainly talking about this in the context of race, but it applies to other categories such as trans people as well. My main issue with this is that this type of openness to accepting fetishization on the basis of identity enables toxic tendencies.
What I mean is that, for example, I'll sometimes see black men play into disturbing tropes like the "BBC" shit and this idea that they can tie their race into the notion of being some kind of sex god. And it's worse when you get white women who unironically identify as "snow bunnies" as a way to entertain this trope (which is just racist), and these black men who don't realize the problem with this will eat it up.
This isn't pleasant; it's just dehumanizing. This isn't just a problem for straight people either. Gay men, for instance, can have this toxic shit going on too. I understand that, especially when you're a part of a marginalized group, it can seem tempting to celebrate what seems to translate to you being a desirable person, even if it's on the basis of a creepy fetish, but that will ultimately do more harm than good.
I just hope these people come to realize that they're not taken as being a desirable "person" in these circumstances, but rather, a desirable object. These fetishists do not care about their humanity, and it is, first and foremost, their fault that this is a problem to begin with.
Fanon even mentions this in Wretched of the Earth.
Side note: I also hate it when people talk about how good looking biracial babies are like they're fucking dog breeds.
Side note: I also hate it when people talk about how good looking biracial babies are like they're fucking dog breeds.
Out in crackkkerland the only biracial people they see are on the TV and so they mistake “TV showing me good looking people because that’s what TV does” for “all biracial people are attractive.”
It's even worse when an entire community is dedicated to this under the guise of being a safe haven for a minority group.
A prime example of this is Reddit's 196, and its adjacent communities. They built their entire modus operandi around *supporting" trans and GNC people, but in reality that support consists of lots of fetishization. Plenty of trans people will sadly join in on it, because they think they found an environment that isn't hostile to them. But whenever one of them steps out of line and actually points out the blatant fetishization, they get surprised that those who pretend to be their allies will suddenly attack them.
It's the classic mistake of thinking fetishization means that you're being seen as an equal. Fetishization and oppression often go hand in hand. It's been a common theme throughout history.
196 and "genocides are bad when I am not the one doing it". I could tolerate other bullshit but "I will vote for my fuhrer Joe Biden until he comes to kill me" was really bullshit. Does anyone know any other active(extremely online) leftist shitpost places?(I still miss you r/cth my beloved)
/r/gamingcirclejerk has a similar culture and is much more aligned with Hexbear's politics. /r/sharkpark is basically 196 but they never post about politics at all so it's just the same kind of meme with no libs but also no based posts. /r/thedeprogram is also a bit similar but because the community is explicitly political and most of the memes are about economic topics I think it's just inherently less humorous. Not to mention that the demographic is so young that it often devolves into childish things and people posting about getting banned from other subreddits. /r/TrueAnon is the best subreddit left IMO but it's not as active as the others. /r/acidmarxism, /r/blackwolffeed, /r/blackepsteinfeed are out there if you wanna look at the comments for leftist discussion. If you really are a content hog then there's also /r/theadamfriedlandshow and /r/redscarepod but those subreddits are full of straight up chuds and are just generally even worse than 196.
It's the classic mistake of thinking fetishization means that you're being seen as an equal. Fetishization and oppression often go hand in hand. It's been a common theme throughout history.
Seeing this was perfectly timed with that ruffled person posting the hexbear trans poll and being like "they're not the safe space 196 is the safe space"
I hadn't seen that post yet, but yeah.
That's another aspect of the fetishizing "ally". They think they get to make the call on who is real and who is fake. Because surely the real ones would not only believe in the same things as I do, but they would also be grateful for all this acceptance I'm showering them with!
What I mean is that, for example, I'll sometimes see black men play into disturbing tropes like the "BBC" shit and this idea that they can tie their race into the notion of being some kind of sex god.
I knew a black guy once who said the problem with the well-endowed black man stereotype is that if you take it out for a girl and it doesn’t hit the floor, she’s disappointed.
And it's worse when you get white women who unironically identify as "snow bunnies" as a way to entertain this trope
is that what that means? I saw some recommended video about a guy meeting his ideal snow bunny and I thought “oh she spends a lot of time on the slopes, he’s into skiers I guess.”Which, besides the dehumanizing of marginalized groups, devalues earnest interracial couples. Like it makes it look like the relationship must be about fetishizing and not, oh hey maybe these people actually care about each other and love each other.
is that what that means? I saw some recommended video about a guy meeting his ideal snow bunny and I thought “oh she spends a lot of time on the slopes, he’s into skiers I guess.”
Having spent a brief stint living in a ski town, everybody always used "snow bunny" to mean "white woman who can't really ski, but goes to the ski lodge to hook up with the cute rich white guys."
But in recent years, I guess The Youths have decided it means "white woman who exclusively dates black dudes." Language is weird.
The Blahaj instance and their chasers come to mind.
Could you elaborate on that a bit? I haven't heard of blahaj.zone having a large amount of chasers.
Mostly the 196 comm. I honestly am not sure that the comm itself is gonna have many examples of chaser behavior, but if you go to /r/196 on reddit you'll always see a bunch of chaser posts on the front page, and the comm was meant to be a lifeboat for the subreddit. The weird thing about them IMO is that there used to be some pushback against chasers, but eventually there was a bad faith tactic of painting chasers as puritans who just didn't want to see any horny posts, so now anyone who points out the chaser behavior in that community is accused of being a transphobic puritan or something to that effect.
Very much relate with this and also with the relation to 196 made by sexundersocialism.
I think it’s similar to what others call ‘pick me’ behaviour (awful term), where an oppressed person appeals to the fantasies/expectations of the oppressor in order to get positive feedback.
It’s a bad thing and I think it’s good to tell people that their behaviour is harmful. But obviously it comes with the complex feelings and insecurities one has when they live as a minority so I would lay the blame mostly on the oppressors who pushed them in that direction.
I largely agree but my only hesitation is ive seen lots of examples lately on the shitty bird app of trans women and other femme presenting people being accused of "self-fetishizing" and thereby damaging the rest of the community for totally innocuous things. Or for posting sexy selfies or for being sex workers.
Things like PhilosphyTube posting an old screenshot of her character from some video game in some vaguely fetishistic costume and saying she should have known at the time she was trans, and people shitting on her until she deleted it because that was apparently like playing into stereotypes and shit.
That... uh.... that bothers me that people will shit on innocuous forms of self expression and self exploration like that.
On a related note. Anybody know why this recent wave of fetishizing "femboys" (not sure if that is the best term for it) comes from? Maybe I was not online enough, but it feels like this fetish wasn't so common before covid. I actively saw subs and feeds I was in going from having nothing to do with that stuff to over the years becoming softcover porn essentially. I have a hypothesis that covid combined with the intensification of oppression in the us is the cause.
Also, I am now feeling horrified at the thought that Germans during nazi times might have fetishism Jews similarly.
A lot of transfems credit the "lockdown" as giving them space to explore and experiment with gender expression.
I fear everyone I encounter that shows some sort of interest is a chaser, which makes me less keen to stick around since I start double (and triple, quadruple, etc) all our interactions looking for the dehumanizing edge that shows them mask off, they don't see me as a peer but entirely as an object.
I see you as less if you think someone like me is actually hotter than actual hot people. You are fucking pathetic. I take pity on your ailment. No place for hate in this heart, just pity. You should be crushed like the bug you are.
Bit idea: instead of giving a blowjob, picking it up like a big microphone and doing a newscast for BBC News
I pretended to do a standup routine, but otherwise...
STOP HAVING FUN
Nobody is telling you what type of porn you should consume. This is a discussion forum and not a church.
This is just a spin on the "I'm entitled to my opinion" fallacy. I'm not telling anyone what they're "allowed" to do or like, but I'm speaking on legitimately problematic implications of certain forms of fetishization. Quite frankly, this just reads as someone who engages in this nasty kind of behavior trying so damn hard to cope with the criticism of how problematic it is. It wouldn't surprise me. Equating being ABLE to do something with it being RIGHT to do that something is a very common cope, hence me referring this to a form of the "I'm entitled to my own opinion" fallacy, a fallacy that serves that exact purpose.
I can see it being nice to have roles you can play and not have to worry about stuff. Especially for people who are used to being outside thr normal social order.
Can't I be part of their fetish and be a good partner?
Fetishes are not something to be applied to an entire group of people, it's between the consenting parties in a relationship. Basically, it's private and not something you do to a non-consenting public.
So, yeah in theory you could be a good partner with the fetishizing mentioned in the post when it's in the context of consenting adults... But these types of fetishes have some questionable roots to say the least. If your thing is that you like black people because they're black, then it calls into question your care for them as genuine.
Sure, but is your partner a good partner to you if all you are to them is a fetish?
Though I think the OP's referring more to structural things instead of individual interactions and how that skews everybody's opinions around a couple.
Hmm that's the thing I guess I needed to hear. It's All I am is the festish. That is where was I confused. I'd like to Believe the fetish thing was like a door to thier heart kind of thing. But if that's it then not really a relationship.
