Could you do me a favour and make this post look like a Reddit post?

[deleted]
- Wow, really well said. Extremely important that everyone reads this info above
  Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger
- It didn't work for me
  
  All I see is *************
- I don't have real money, but you deserve this ⭐
- Howdy, fellow buckaroo!
  Your post has been automatically removed and you have been temporarily banned by our extremely slow moderation bot on /r/nicheHobby for the following rule violations that are definitely related to our hobby and definitely are not weird in-jokes from our power tripping mods or the 5 weird wannabe-mod sycophants that orbit them:
  It is currently Thursday. No vowels are permitted in otherwise helpful, high-quality on-topic posts until Friday at 5am EST.
  Source of error in your post:
  
  Hi guys, I have the perfect solution [...] ^ ^^ ^ ^ [... stopped counting after 5 violations]
  Your ban is set to expire in: 132 days. You may appeal your ban in: 100 days.
- Ah, the ol' Reddit switch-a-roo. Hold my relevant topic, I'm going in!
- [removed]
- [deleted]
  
  🏅🚀🌝🏆 [deleted]
- OP makes a good point, but [deleted].

This.
- ^This
- This
  
  Captain here
  This
  Flies away
  
  Hey there, @tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone! If you agree with someone else's comment, please leave an upvote instead of commenting "This."! By upvoting instead, the original comment will be pushed to the top and be more visible to others, which is even better! Thanks! :)
  ^{I am a bot! If you have any feedback, please send me a message! More info:} Reddiquette
  
  This (only downvote this comment)
- This. So much this.
- Nuts

I have a 14 year old device with a very obscure problem, does anyone have a solution for this?
- This comment has been edited in protest to reddit's decision to bully 3rd party apps into closure. If you want to do the same, you can find instructions here: http://notepad.link/share/TAk4RNJIb3vmhROVfGPV
  
  This worked perfectly, thanks!
  
  Does anybody know what this said?! I'm having the same problem!
  Edit: nevermind, I figured it out.
- I have this problem too!
  Edit: Nevermind. Fixed it.
  
  So what is the solution?
  Edit: After hours I found the solution. Np
- [CENSORED]
  
  [CENSORED]
- gurn wreck chemical blear exact dunk blank use end lament
  This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
- F

Divorce him
- Hit Facebook, gym up and delete the lawyer
  
  "I'll get off Facebook now!", he said
  and though he really tried
  Those Russian bots still hacked his shit
  ...and Timmy fucking died.
- Came here to say this
- The Iranian yoghurt is not the issue here
- But I feel obligated to be there for him since he broke his arms..

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Section 1, paragraph 3, subsection B
Section 18, paragraph 5, subsection AAB
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† see ISO 8601
- This by far was what I hated most about Reddit. Oh look a sub where I can finally get a good answer to that question...
  Blocked, go take it to tip of my tongue. But they're not about crowdsourcing... no
- see ISO 8601
  Got to get those datetimes properly formatted. I can't hate on that

Sexy sexitors of sexxit, how do you sexily sex sex?
- Do you have a good sourdough recipe?
  
  OMG that EAR!!!

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I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.
CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed.
Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh.
Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now, so I'll be in my bunk with dat ass. Oh, you! ...now KISS!!! I know you should never stick your dick in crazy, but DM;HS.
...this kills the redditor.
OP will surely deliver. In the meantime, I'll show myself out.
Directed by M. Night Shamallama
edit: accidentally a word

Please don't ask me how I managed to take this picture...

I also choose this man's dead wife.
- I choose you for choosing there dead wife ∆∆∆∆∆

RemindMe! 10 years
- We need bots on Lem-Lem!!!

I'm a leftist but I think insert fascist opinion here

Here's a story told entirely from my point of view, edited to make me look good. Am I the asshole?
- NTA your house your rules.
  
  Divorce her immediately.

Here have this award. 👁️‍🗨️
- Thanks for the stranger, kind gold.
- Will trade up votes, trying to build karma

Ahh, the ole reddit switcharoo
- Hold my wallaby I'm going in

Would have upvoted but it was at 69
- nice
  
  Nice

This

This is a repost from half a year ago OP is a karma farming bot
- Came here to say this
  
  Same
- many posts on reddit literally are from karma farming bots though. predictable username pattern, repost from half a year ago with the exact same title that gets deleted exactly 24h later...

And my axe!!
- First time upvoting this parroted comment ever.
  
  I was going to upvote, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

I too choose this guy's dead wife.

Thank you, kind stranger!
- Thanks rimjobsteve
- that's what she said
  
  Something something broken arms

... And my axe!
Edit: I said the funny line, updoots to the just please

You've been banned from r/Pyongyang
- F
  
  F
- Did anybody watch MattKC's Pyongyang Racer video? It's about a Flash game haha.

RemindMe! 3y “reply to this thread”.

[deleted]
- Found the r/mobileuser

Not all heroes wear capes.

[removed]
- attractive rinse act roof insurance upbeat saw compare yoke plate
  This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
  
  Thanks! I've spent 3 weeks trying to solve this problem lol
- What did it say?
- Take my upvote!
- Here’s the thing… you said “a jackdoor is a crow.”

How the turn tables!
- Mod, please perma ban this ahole already.

Look, I think it’s important to state here that while you can often offer prompts to strangers with no ill effect, 7% of strangers are DEATHLY ALLERGIC to prompts. I know it’s fun to give your strangers prompts sometimes, but I urge you all NOT to give prompts to strangers or you run the very real risk of harming them seriously.
Signed, A strangerologist
- Are you sure about that? I was watching a youtube video some time ago and it said that the 7% thing is false. What sources do you have that its true? I have gotten many many propts from stangers and have NEVER gotten an allergic reaction. Edit: found the video.
  
  I don't have to Google for you, I'm a redditologist, like I said and I know what I said so find your own source because the burden of proof is on you cognitive dissonance straw man argument fallacy other ten dollar words I may or may not actually understand.
- r/theydidthemath
  
  r/theydidthemonstermath

YOUR POST HAS BEEN REMOVED
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Please be advised that this is a strict enforcement of our community guidelines. As a consequence of your transgression, your post has been removed, and you have been permanently banned from participating in our discussions.
We trust that you will heed this warning and strive to uphold the integrity of our community in the future. May your digital journey be filled with enlightenment and adherence to the Pythagorean Theorem.”
- Having been banned from every subreddit I ever subscribed to, this sounds about right.
  Then you message the mid, nothing.
  My favorite was when I posted one comment on some obscure have subreddit about the Ukraine war.
  Then I was immediately bagged from like a dozen other subreddits, many of which I had never heard of. Reasons included violating political rules .. on a gaming subreddit about a game that simulates war between Russia and NATO. Go figure.
- Why this community is so anti-non-euclidean

This site is amazing. It needs a hug from reddit. https://www.smallsitethatwillcrashfromtheunexpectedattention.com/
- Hmm, site isn't working for me. Anyone else?
  
  I see what you did there

Poop knife
- You must not be familiar with the three shells.
  
  Jackdaws
- Broken arms
  
  Every thread
- Cum box
  "You like that you fucking retard"
  Jolly ranchers

We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets. Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon as and as often as we can.

I'm not racist but...
- Will trade up votes, trying to build karma
- Username checks out

Somebody gild this!
- How do I pay $500 to reddit to show I like this comment and really mean it on here?

Here, take the poor man's gold 🏅

Haha pun thread moo yourself
- Don't have a cow
  
  Bullish behavior

Ah the old reddit switcharoo!

[removed]

open up this is the CIA
- As an AMERICAN, I do not consent to you tracking my comments in any way. The CIA does not have JURISDICTION and I do not recognize THE sovereignty of aMERica.
  :flag_chile: :flag_chile: PROUD TEXAN :flag_chile: :flag_chile:

When does the narwhal bacon?
- 🤫🕛
- Will trade up votes, trying to build karma
- At Midnight! OMG super in joke on our really niche, non pop culture website.

repost
- Not all of us spend every waking hour scrolling Reddit you know. I haven't seen it until now and you trying gatekeep this sub with your "repost" comments aren't adding anything to the conversation. Go touch grass. It's the green stuff, outside, in front of your mother's house.
  Downvoted.
  Edit - I just realized I actually have seen this post before. This site is really going downhill ever since it got popular.
  Edit edit - fixed typo
  Ninja edit - fuck spez

Username checks out

YATA - I can't fucking believe you'd do that.
:flag-liberia: :flag-liberia: Trump 2024 :flag-liberia: :flag-liberia:

3/10.
7/10 with rice.
- Perfect five out of seven.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

this post doesn't apply to me at all but here's a paragraph about some third party bullshit that's tangentially related at best, but really doesn't meet the spirit of the post
- So lemmy and Reddit?
- So basically This?

Hey it's me your brother!
- Hey bro, check my latest totally organic post about the package from Amazon. LoL they sent me 2 Xbox station 6s instead of 1 playbox 5. Order from Amazon, they will send you free shit!
  
  How do you do fellow redditors? I also get free shit from amazon. Updooted you. Please give me gold as well.
  Steve buscemi was on a fire truck on 9-11 after breaking his toe kicking that helmet while filming lord of the rings.