Memes @lemmy.ml

1y ago

chaotic evil is for me

248 comments

To anyone who does anything other than twist and tuck:
get a life
- I use the clip if I can find it....
  .... I mean, was RIGHT HERE a second ago...
  
  I use the clip until there's enough slack to do the twist and tuck.
  
  They're not as good since switching to cardboard anyway
- I twist and roll the excess bag over the bread. Kinda like how you do socks
  
  This is the way.
- I'm with you!
- Tie a knot you monster!
- I don't see what's wrong with it at all, solid foolproof method, I'd airlock my spaceship like that

Breadboxes are bullshit and you know it
- They just make me forget about the bread.
  
  Sounds like an scp report.
  
  What bread? What are we talking about again?
  
  Free penicilin.
  
  Sometimes my mind needs a break.
- You put the bread in the box, while using one of the other methods.
  The box is there to look pretty.
  
  The only thing a breadbox has done for me is give me molded bread the next day. Every time.
- Do people still use these? I haven't seen one since my great aunt's house in the early '90s, and I'm certain it was never used for bread. Still remember the smell of that kitchen. Picked up the early, mineral tones of her weird, dank basement. God damn, I played a lot of Megaman 2 in that basement.
- My gram used to put the bread and crisps in the oven when the oven wasn't being used :)
  
  We used to do that in my old tiny apartment until one of us forgot and turned the oven on.

My brother liked to tear open the bag in the middle, then leave it as is in the open.
- I guess he's Chaotic Evil Demon King
  
  It's just chaotic evil.
  Leaving the bag open should be chaotic neutral. It's a sign of somebody shifting focus with neither good nor bad intentions.
- See, this is more like chaotic evil. Most of this chart is just normal behavior.
- Satan fears your brother
- Is your brother a cat?
- I'm hoping your brother was 3-5. Anything after that should have been slapped out of him.
  
  He did that as a teen...
- Chaotic Breadhitler

Put it in the freezer.
- I didn't know humans are capable of such monstrosity
  
  Why are you booing me, I'm right!
  Big bread just wants you to throw away bread and buy more.
  
  It's bread. Bread is freezable. Same with cakes. You have definitely eaten defrosted bread and not even known it. You can freeze it 100 times and you won't be able to tell the difference.
  
  Once upon a time when toasters didn't need high tech computers, it was possible to get a perfectly toasted piece of bread from frozen. There was a bimetallic strip that sensed the temperature of the bread, so it would always be consistent. This made freezing bread much more practical
  
  It'll stay fresh much longer
  
  All the beead in the supermarkets comes from the frozen section. They take a big patch every night for the next day to defrost before adding it to the shelves.
- This is how I keep an eight pack of burger buns fresh. Also freshly cooked freezes flawlessly.
- I usually buy bread from Sam’s Club/Cosco and it comes in 2 packs so that’s usually what I do with the extra loaf. I don’t refreeze a loaf or just grab a frozen slice and microwave it or something though. I have standards
  
  You can just throw a frozen slice in the toaster and you'll get good at timing whether you want a thawed or toasted slice before you know it.

Chaotic neutral for life.
- For people who value time as much as bread freshness.
- Seriously, why anything else, it is the best seal and it is the fastest way. As long as you're not going to travel with your bread, you don't need an attach.
- I switch between chaotic neutral and neutral evil based on how much bread remains

I've started making my own bread and keeping it in a bread box. This alignment is called "lawful insufferable"
- Bread boxes promote mold growth.
  
  Mine is just a foodsafe plastic bin which gets cleaned out every week. My loaves scarcely last long enough to go off anyway 🤭
  See? Insufferable.
  
  I haven't found anything that isn't akin to old wives tales backing this claim up. Got any sources?
  
  Free penicilin.

I worked at a restaurant that was big on breakfast for many years. When our manager needed to open a new bag, she would tear a hole it half way down the bag and start pulling bread from the middle. The only option we really had was to put it into another bag.
- Satan

I am lawful and chaotic neutral.
- yeah, we all know air can‘t twist, chaotic neutral is sufficient
- Twist and reuse clip? Absolutely.

Chaotic neutral. Only way to live.
- I don't understand why the twist and tuck is seen as a bad thing. It's a tight seal that is effortless to both do and undo.
  
  Cuz it can fall apart if moved or slid. Needs to be redone when picked up.
- I agree
- I do that if I lose the original bread tag.
  If I still have the tag, it's twist and tag.
  Though with modern cardboard tags, it's a bit more difficult and the tags wear out more quickly.

Lawful neutral. I'm surprised more people don't just use the clip that came with it. It's kept the bread fresh the whole time up to you acquiring it, so why not keep using it?
- Because bread is stocked daily, so the clip hasn't done much, and many of the methods are a tighter seal or just faster
- Because those little fuckers are fun to flick across the room, then get lost under the couch.
- Canada Bread has switched to using paper clips. They deform and break after so many reapplies. The twist and tuck is the next best option.
  
  I haven't had a problem with them so far, but I can see how they are more flimsy compared to the plastic ones
- I haven't seen a bread clip in what? 15 years.
  
  How is bread packaged and sealed where you are?
- Where i live the plastic is actually kind of stuck together and clip just makes sure it stays that way. Once you open it the first time the clip won't have the same effect anymore

You guys don't have a bakery every few streets ? I buy a few baguettes daily, several times a day.
Edit : a few baguettes for several people, am not some kind of 400lb duck monster.
- No one needs that much bread.
  
  I think you’re responding to a large duck, or perhaps several regular ducks packed into a long coat.
  
  See, that's what the king said ..
  
  You know how in asia they eat everything with rice ? Here, we eat everything with bread. I never thought of it before but does seems a bit weird. Most our food is home made and we somewhat eat a lot of soup. You can make more than dozens of different recipe by throwing stuff and seasoning into boiling water. You can then eat it with some bread or pour it over other stuff.
- Baguette bread is terrible though. Way too hard. Anyway most Americans live further than a mile from somewhere with bread, that's far too much work.
- No, far cheaper to buy in bulk at the superstore

Wait, what’s the “bottle hack?”
- cut off top of soda bottle, pull bag through hole, screw on top.
  
  That sounds like significantly more work than any of the other options. In what way is it a "hack"?
  
  That sounds like the nost tiktok livehack omg i've been doing it wrong all my life, i was todays years old when i learned this lifehack, ever
  
  Too many steps, ill be at the bar
  
  This should be chaotic evil.
- I scrolled through so many comments to see if anyone was just going to let that one go un-asked! I started reading the chart from the bottom and got to chaotic good last and went from leaning back in my chair to fully forward when I read it. Was like car tire screech "What the fuck is the bottle hack?!?!?" lol
- I think chaotic good should be you tie it with a loop. It's firmly tied closed, but you just have to pull at the end and it comes open

Proudly Chaotic neutral.
- Efficient and lazy, that's my way!
  
  Good enough is good enough for me

My bread last so long because I twist and tuck in a bread box.

What about the knot that pulls apart effortlessly? I've been doing those all my life
- I tighten bread bag knots to punish people for their hubris.
- I am so grateful to the person who taught me that. I didn't forget about you, Alice.

imagine tying a knot on the end of the bag, as far from the bread as possible, and just cutting it off and retying every time you want bread
- every time you want bread
  And now I wonder why did I even stop at this thread at all.

I dont understand bread bins. How do they not just make the bread stale
- They do, you should always use one of the other methods to close up the bag, then put it in the bin
- Depends on the bread and the bin. My parents have a pottery one, it keeps proper bread perfectly fresh. Of course you do need to eat a bit at least every day/every other day, because the cut side will dry out eventually.
  Maybe that's mostly the bread doing all the work though. I don't know how you can store toast for any practical amount of time without consuming more preservatives than bread, lol
- If you leave bread fully enclosed in plastic, all the moisture from the crumb moves into the crust and makes it soggy. But it doesn't dry out.
  If you leave it just open, it dries out.
  That's why (real) bread is best stored in a paper bag or in an unglazed ceramic bread bin. Those two materials allow for a slow exchange of air, therefore keeping the crust crunchy and the crumb soft.
  
  I guess I dont have to think about this for my loaf of bleached supermarket bread
  
  what if i like soggy bread

Flip lawful and true neutral, otherwise good chart

What is this "bottle hack"?
- Cut off the top inch or so of a plastic bottle and put the top of the bag through it. You can then twist the cap back on the bottle to seal the bag
  https://youtu.be/yQsEd7m38Iw?si=vgDBwJlSyU6SwcTt
  
  That makes sense for beans, but bread?
  
  The original DiWhy, at least for bread

lawful neutral, then chaotic neutral when i lose the thingy

chaotic evil is tying a not because theyre impossible to get open again
- It's evil, but not chaotic. It's closed after all, so I'd say this fits lawful evil perfectly.
  
  Chaotic evil is throwing the bag away and leaving the loaf out.

I appreciate any effort to “close” the bag.

Does nobody else buy bread that has a twist tie instead of a clip?

I'm a cross between lawful and chaotic neutral. I use the clip, but also twist and tuck.

Neutral evil and chaotic evil bread bag practitioners are NOT invited to my house.

Neutral evil.. Too lazy to twist.
- The twist keeps the bread thieves away. The equivalent to wearing a blanket as protection against monsters.

Bread box? I haven't seen one of those in decades. Maybe they have changed but they are just to make the kitchen look nice right? They don't actually preserve anything right? If you live in a humid environment that bread is going bad immediately unless you put it in an air tight container. Mold loves water.
I use bag and twist tie or clip all of the way. If I am going to use it fast or freeze it if I am not going to finish it within a few days.
- Ours is in use to keep the damn cat from eating through the bag.
- I use a breadbox for homemade bread and it keeps it good for a while.
  
  Does it seal the bread or anything? From a pure preservation standpoint does the bread last longer outside of a bread box vs inside?
  Does blocking the light prevent bread from going off?
- I was always pro-breadbox until I moved to an area with lots of roaches. Now, it's sealed boxes all the way
- I put the bag in the bread box. It does look nice.

Not to gripe at a funni meemee or anything but it's interesting how 2 out of 3 the "good" options revolve around straight up consumerism.
"Think about how organized you would be if you had a special box to store your sliced bread!?! (Nevermind the fact that this totally unnecessary as the bread already comes in packaging that is both more airtight and likely more sterile)"
The environment weeps.
- Also bag clips break. A rubber band or a knot (one you sure you can untie).
  I usually use "just tucking", though.
- People put bread just loose in a breadbox? That's disturbing. Keep the bread in the bag, but put it in the box so it doesn't get squished.

Chaotic neutral here. The twist tie that comes with the bag immediately goes in my twist tie collection.
- twist tie collection
  Are you a crow?
  
  Possibly.. 🐦

True neutral and chaotic neutral should switch

I’d have swapped true and lawful neutrals. True neutral is using what came with it, surely? Even though a band is better.
- Lawful>chaotic isn't about better>worse. If anything, using the gear that came with the product is the definition of lawful in this context. Lawful is more about following the expectations of society. That's not the full meaning, but close enough for this post. If anything, I would swap true neutral and chaotic neutral.

I am lawful neutral but my mom's lawful evil and she throws the fucking thing away so I can't even do it :((

Normally I'm chaotic neutral, but sometimes I forget and end up being chaotic evil lol

Lawful good just leads to mice, which is more cruel than good imo. Mice are incapable of self regulating population, they will boom and suffer en masse without predators.
- Somebody explain this to the trees that drop millions of nuts in the surrounding forest every few years skyrocketing not only rodent populations but also their parasites; ticks, chiggers, fleas. Predators are here, but they can't seem to catch up to the mouse output.
  
  It's called a mast year. Every 3 to 5 years the trees in an area produce an enormous amount of fruit, then on the next year it's super low. Scientists think the trees produce more mast (botanical term for fruit of forest trees and shrubs, like acorns etc) than the animals could possibly eat, which guarantees that some seeds can grow into saplings. We don't know exactly what triggers it though.
- Mice in your home is more a problem of class than alignment.
  
  A nice gated suburb might be less likely than a home in the hills or a manufactured home near a field, but I assure you that mice don't give a f*** how much you make in a year.
  
  I've seen rats in rather expensive parts of Moscow.

Lawful neutral until the last 2-4 slices then neutral evil
- You mean until the plastic bit breaks off from the bigger plastic bit

I never expected to be in the neutral evil segment here...
- I honestly don't see the problem. I'm not putting that little bread clip back on the bag once it's off.
  
  Who folds without twisting??
  (Ok I do sometimes, but I know it’s wrong.)
- You look good tucked though.

It depends a lot wheter you live on your own or with your parents.
- You mean my kids?

Chaotic neutral

Im consistently suprised how often i emd up on the neutral side in those memes. This time lawful neutral

What does it mean for me that I would twist and tuck into the bread box....

Lawful neutral, moving to chaotic neutral when I get down to a few slices.
- Brother.

neutral good most of the time
sometimes lawful neutral
if I'm lazy, neutral evil
- i do chaotic neutral cause it's essentially neutral evil but with at least the illusion of a more secure seal

Usually chaotic neutral for me, I've never seen a. Rubber and on bread before tho

Wait, I do a similar one to the twist and tuck but what I do is that I twist it and then partially re-cover the remaining breads, would that put me with the twist and tuck people or an I something else?
- 'fraid so. Chaotic and all that

Usually neutral good, but if I can't find the clip, I'm neutral evil.

Chaotic evil, we keep the bread in the fridge.
- My wife does this for some reason.
  
  That just makes it go stale faster

Where does leaving it out in the open fit?

I used to be a chaotic evil, but then I learned how to actually tie things. Not a joke I'm autistic and couldn't get the hang of tying until well into my adulthood when it became required for my job that I get tying down.

I am lawful evil, future me has been cursing past me ever since

No love for twist ties here

Chaotic neutral. Who knew that bread was such a sage.

What is the bottle hack? I do the old twist and tuck, but I store it in the oven, which is just a big bread box.

Neutral Evil for me. Almost the laziest option, but willing to put in the barest amount of effort.

Slipknot all day everyday. Fast to tie and untie nothing to lose like a clip or a rubber band. Plus it's just a small bit of fun
- Haven't heard that song. Did they drop a new single?

I just leave bread on the table and throw out the bag.

248 comments