Mine is a textbook example of a self inflicted knife wound that involved separating frozen burger patties with a very sharp knife. Knife slides between the patties and into the palm of my hand. I managed to not pass out and make it to urgent care where they stitched the cut together. Still have some nerve damage. Don't do stupid things with sharp knives kids.
I was opening a box that was taped shut with a screwdriver, pulling it towards myself to rip open the tape. The rest of the tape went a lot faster than I was expecting, and since I was still pulling I wound up jabbing myself in the stomach (just bruised, I'm fine).
Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!
Left the cupboards open and then did dishes within 5 minutes and after leaning down, I hit my head on one of the open cabinet doors.
Paper cut on a friggin fry cup at work.
Not recent, but sneezing and holding it in. Threw my back so bad I couldn't walk for weeks. Ever since then, I'll let it rip -- into my elbow or a napkin.
A few months ago, saw a medical scan of someone with a big tear in their throat. The story claimed it was due to a held sneeze. Nowadays, you shouldn't believe anything on the internet, but after my own experience, I could see how it might happen.
I pushed too quickly on my french press and an eruption of hot coffee water shot up the sleeve of my robe, which trapped it against my arm long enough to burn the skin. I am hoping for no blister, but I have a 4cm red triangle on my forearm now.
pizza.
ya, you know what happened. it's still peeling off on the inside of my mouth.
A few years ago, but it's stupid enough: An older lady in the gym was unable to get off from a pullup-helping machine, so i grabbed the weights (! WHY? !) and asked her to step off. It was about 40 kg. Flattened my finger.
Wept in the locker room with the bloody finger in my mouth (I was dizzy because of shock)
Drove dack home shaking from shock
Fingernail is curved a shitty way it's hard to clip it since. Edit: typo, pullupA few days ago, I tried to catch up to my 4 year old who was running down our asphalt driveway after getting off the preschool bus, running to the back-left of him, he turned into my path to see where I was, so I sort of "jumped" out of the way to avoid plowing right into him, just barely clipped him a bit but tore up my arm and knee landing on the asphalt. Stupid, because I should have assumed he might decide to change direction or something... seems obvious now.
Before that, a few months ago I was cutting a watermelon and, with my hand that was holding the melon in place, I pulled it up off the melon too haphazardly and the tip of the knife sliced deep into my ring finger. Borderline needed stitches, but didn't get them. Got by fine with butterfly bandages and wound glue, but there's yet another big scar on my hands. At least I still have all my fingers. I was given a Christmas gift of a cut glove after that.
Sledding down a hill. I thought the bottom someone had made a ramp.
Nope.
Giant frozen pothole.
Soon as we hit it I HEARD something snap in back. We flew up in the air. And landed - on ice - I landed on my ribs.
I have managed to injure my spine AND my ribs.
Used a chef's knife to open a beer bottle.
Opened my hand instead. Use tools for what they are made for, boys & girls.
Not recent. I was cooking a frozen pizza and when I took it out of the oven, the pot holder I was using slipped and I ended up with my bare fingers on the pan. It was only a minor burn since I dropped the pizza and pan on the floor almost immediately. It had been a really stressful week and I was at my breaking point. I left the pizza and pan on the floor and just went to my bedroom. Fuck that day.
Edit: Invest in decent pot holders and oven mitts. You are worth it.
I work in a kitchen. Obviously we regularly handle very hot items (food, pans, oil, etc).
My coworker had just pulled a metal pan from a 500°f oven and even called out "BEHIND, HOT!" as she attempted to place the pan on the make table. My stupid ass decided our (mainly clear) make table needed cleared off. So at the very moment she tried to set down a 500°f pan, I shoved my arm directly into her path, causing her to press the pan into my forearm, causing instant second degree burns.
I still have the burn marks and it's been a week and a half 🙃
Cut the pad off my index finger chopping slippery tomatoes with 2 days no sleep, during busy hour at work. It looks normal now but no sensation :(
I rolled over after falling asleep in my clothes and my jeans had gotten all turned around on me somehow so when I rolled over, I pulled the pants tighter and hurt my nuts.
I stepped down my singular step porch and tore a ligament in my ankle the day I moved into this house.
Two years later (a week ago) I broke my toe in the same place.
Mostly just old age gets me now, but as a child I was known for being accident prone (also called poor decision making). My two crowning glories would have to be:
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Had a small toy basketball ring that I'd stuck to the full height windows in the lounge room. Stepped up on the window sill for the dunk (in socks) slipped and put my knee through the window - the glass only went in to my knee a few centimetres and I lucked out with only needing about 8 stitches.
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My brother and I wanted to see how far we could stretch an old tennis trainer, literally a heavy weight attached by elastic to a tennis ball, turns out it was quite far. My brother let go of the tennis ball when I wasn't ready and it hit me square in the eye. That put me in hospital for a week or so with a detached retina, thankfully I was doing enough that it reattached itself, though wearing a patch for a few more weeks was not fun.
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Trying to longboard again as an aging millennial.
Every so often I roll my ankles taking a bad step it hurts like hell for days!
To make matters worse I have unusually dense bones so nothing ever breaks.
Grabbing a toaster oven rack that I thought had already cooled, but it hadn’t. Got a couple of second degree burns on the underside of two fingers, right in the joint. Hurt like shit the first day but it’s healing pretty quickly.
There is nothing that will ruin your eating experience like nursing burnt fingers!
Not really any injury, and rather more awkward than painful.
There was a smaller branch hanging from a tree, mostly broken off. I managed to break it off completely, but as it fell and I was holding it, it bent back my left pinkie and ring finger a bit too much, enough to make them painful for 2 days. The awkward bit is that it also bonked me on my empty head.
Better than the other one though. There's one larger branch that's completely broken off, but it's still hanging on the other ones. I tried to pull it off, but I am too weak. It got even lower now so perhaps I should try again. I mean, it's fairly horizontal, so it doesn't leave me standing under the heavy part while pulling it.
Tried to do a little drop/jump while snowboarding. I hadn't been on a snowboard in a decade. Landed awkwardly and hyper extended my right wrist. Though I broke it. Seems to be fine but it still hurts like hell four days later.
Broke apart my filling by biting into a steel fork.
Sitting down in a restaurant and hitting the table pole with my knee. I ALWAYS do that.
Got done with a 12 hour shift, hopped on the motorbike and zipped off, lost the frontend on like second corner, hadn't taken into account the cold tarmac first thing in the morning cause my dumb ass thought I was just done with a DAY shift.
Poured EXTREMELY hot oil on my scalp and burnt my scalp. Skin came peeling off, lost more hair' -already got male pattern baldness. Took a few weeks to heal.
Not a serious one, but it hurt like a bitch.
Coworker was cleaning the donut case for the day, and left the dishes beside the sink. I decided to be nice and get them soaking, so I grab all the wire racks.
One slipped, and while I was trying to catch it, I somehow pinched my thumb right behind the nail between two others. I had to take a moment in the back office after that.
Stabbed myself in the thumb when trying to remove those indistructable zip ties from a new knife we purchased.
I had to mop the basement floor after new tile was laid and now my back is stiff.
Used to work in a bagel shop. We have a big ass slicer, spinning blade you drop bagels into down a chute.
Every day we turn it off and wipe the chute. I wasn't thinking. Unplugged the machine, scooted it out, and began wiping down the chute inside, brushing down crumbs.
It's a fucking miracle my finger barely grazed the still spinning blade that hadn't come to a stop yet. Immediately recoiled my hand and just got a scratch from it, not that deep.
I was pissed at myself for not realizing the blade was still spinning. That shit could've been so much worse.
I tried carefully picking up a small knife right after getting my nails painted. Dropped the knife and slightly stabbed myself in the foot. Also flipped on some ice delivering a package , fell on my ass and sent my phone flying 10 feet in the air .
I took a step, I should not have done that.
Lay on my back. When I stood up my back was seized.
Literally happened tonight, I was trying to break one of these chicken jerky treats for my dog by folding it over on itself and somehow smashed a finger inside the two halves when it snapped over.
I was cotting carrots in to carrot sticks, at the last cut I put my finger in between the cutting board and the knife ant started cutting in to my finger tip. Instant regrett.
I managed to cut myself with my table saw the same day I shot myself with a nailgun.
The tool wasn't running, and I wasn't cut with the blade. On this particular saw the fence rides on a pair of extruded aluminum rails whose sawn edge the factory did nothing at all to dress. I reached under the table to retrieve the miter gauge from its little scabbard under there and scratched my hand real good on the corner of the table.
Earlier that same day while attaching the face frame to a cabinet with an 18 gauge brad nailer the brad went a bit sideways and nicked one of my fingers.
Both of these were booboo grade injuries. I went to bed that night with a band-aid on each hand.
A?
Usually 6-20 at a time
Put a large cup of tea on my bed. Cup quickly falls over and spills itself on my hand. Somehow get 2nd degree burns
I was helping take the trash out recently. The paradox of regular trashcans on wheels is this. If you have the wheels on the same side as the handle, the weight of the trash tries to push the can back down from the side. However, if you have the wheels on the opposite side than the handle, you need to pull it down highly irregularly. So here I am trying to hook the trash can to a wagon or cart for physical convenience, and like the weeble it was, it just flipped it over due to drag.
I wish someone could make giant trash hamster balls so you could just roll the trash down a driveway like a marble.
Got married.
@toomanypancakes took the dog for a long long run, and clearly she'd had enough by the time we got back to the local park, so she clipped my heel and sent me flying before unapologetically sidling up to me as I nursed my wounds 😭
Had a cold for a few weeks and didnt't went to a doctor. Thought it was gone at some point. But it came back and suddenly I was in a hospital, having to be treated for a myocarditis. Take your med's, kids.
