Is it weird that what most people consider attractive and what I consider attractive are usually completely different.
[CW: is this body shaming? I'm not sure.]
I genuinely find "conventionally attractive" people (like celebrities), well, kind of ugly IMO.
This is particularly evident when you look at game mods where people can create what they consider to be the most attractive characters their imagination allows. I find most of them grotesque even. Exaggerated forms.
Che Guevara though, Che Guevara was hot. So maybe I like some conventionally attractive looks. But you know what I mean. I don't like muscle men or hyper feminine women. I prefer androgyny almost.
I think the weirdness comes from putting a value on it. Like saying one is objectively better than the other.
I like guys who are more often cast as extras or thugs/goons. I like something about average, like it lets me appreciate the unique features because I'm not using a rubric based on society. They're invisible to the eye of sauron, you know?
Che was hot though. I don't care - imagining that charisma and ambition focused on you is such a fantasy. Like
Conventional standards of beauty are cishetnormative af, they are also ridiculously inauthentic, and both just doesn't resonate with me at all. I like androgynity, i like offensive queerness, i like cool ways of doing gender, i like more than one permissible type of body that half of the population has to chastize itself over in a futile attempt to achieve a perfection that is only attainable on the workstation of an art director. I want to see bodies that could be sleeping next to mine in my bed tonight, not a fantasy designed to make me feel so inferior that i need to buy more junk to ease the sting.
I have just a broad taste. Like Im totally into very hot super stars. But I also find average looking people attractive. Either way. People like what they like.
I believe there’s scientific literature backing up the fact that this is a common experience, but I can’t remember the keywords to bring it up. In my experience, there’s a patriarchal aspect to this where people feel the patriarchal expectation for their attractions to lie within acceptable ranges for conventionally attractiveness, but will be attracted to a variety of body types and presentations when asked.
I find that a lot of what people consider conventionally attractive I also find attractive, but at the same time, I'm also into the opposite of what people consider conventionally attractive too. My tastes can be rather broad.
I feel like it's a blessing. If you like exactly what 80% of the people find attractive, they'll be lots of you liking the very few who have this quality. I feel like conventionally attractive people (especially conventionally attractive women) have this problem, as they're hit on all the time. It just seems unfun for everyone that's part of it.
The conventionally attractive white men who I meet have the worst fucking opinions, so I think that anyone who isn't into them is really lucky.
I don't know if it'll work for you, but I used to have this problem. When I saw myself attracted to a posh looking person (which normally is strongly associated with conventionally attractive), I'd make an effort to look for something to hate in them. And usually it was there, and I'd be able to move on from that situation without wasting my time and energy by having a crush on them.
I genuinely find "conventionally attractive" people (like celebrities), well, kind of ugly IMO.
Not unusual to find people attractive based on your own level of exposure. So if you're not constantly exposed to celebrity media, you're unlikely to find the exaggerated proportions of celebrities as appealing as features of close family and friends.
Che Guevara though, Che Guevara was hot.
Young people are regularly hot. That's not a surprise.
I don't think it's weird, maybe a bit atypical, but not super rare.
I think most people can relate to some degree. My preferences fit pretty well inside conventional attractiveness, but there's still occasionally supposedly super hot people that I just don't... get.
i don't think it's weird. if i'm being honest i don't really find cis people attractive. i think it has something to do with how i value shared experiences
I think kinksters in general show us that attraction is probably something more emergent and not something that springs directly from some kind of ingrained template. Like obviously something deep and fundamental plays a role but my own unqualified opinion is that what a person finds attractive is likely a the result of a meeting point between something sort of highly specific and "elemental" (me like smooth, me like rough, me like curve, me like firm/soft, etc) and stuff you come understand about the world around you (me like people who remind me of that way the person looked in that one movie, me like people who seem smart, me like people who seem in charge or would trust me, etc).
I also think the degree to which each of those "halves" of the equation has weight is also different from person to person, like one person might need nothing more than the right texture to feel attracted, while another needs a very specific perceived "type" of person in a very specific context to feel really attracted.
but seriously though, i've noticed i dont really care that much about the form of the person. the stuff that matters is usually personality and hygiene . Charisma is always hot though, I would've gone absolutely feral if I was in the same room as Fidel or Che or....
Hygiene is my biggest turn-on. I had a super time with a woman who I slept with and the morning after we woke up I said "let's go brush our teeth so we can make out a bunch more." 10/10 experience. Get clean so you can get dirty.
i have like an academic understanding of what people are generally talking about in body-type attraction, but my own preferences are entirely based on face and manner so i've always been a bit out-of-sorts when people tried to talk about 'nice asses' or legs or whatever with me
i've always been a bit out-of-sorts when people tried to talk about 'nice asses' or legs or whatever with me
I like conventionally attractive whatevers and this is also off putting to me like no sorry guy I don't want to talk about big butts and titties with you? what even is there to say?? yup i like me some booty, mhhmm. I tell you hwut
I remember one time I was hanging out with my friend's boyfriend and some shit came in the tv with women at a waterpark and he wouldn't shut up about them and it's like bro, gross, your gf is hotter shut up man (i had a huge crush on her )
i swear these are hetero normative patriarchal performative norms that are only done because everyone has to impress the notion they are attracted to and objectify correct subjects
I am not educated enough to know why, but attraction is something most people(left to own their own devices) are going to come up with a unique version of. Society shoves certain things at us and screams “you must find this person hot, now buy product”. Society is probably better off without sexualized marketing training people to find certain looks attractive.
In the other hand, symmetry is almost always preferred, if iirc it’s even in other animals. Like a peacock is going to do worse if it has asymmetrical plumage (this is more your area of expertise, I stopped pursuing science rather early). Please lmk if I’m completely misremembering.
Either way, I’m in a somewhat similar boat. Back when I was trying to be straight my guy friends always were like “what, really?” Whenever they did that toxic shit where guys talk about the women at the party or whatever. On the plus side they stopped asking eventually.
I don’t think it’s body shaming, if anything it’s the opposite by pushing back against what’s considered the “norm”.
Game mods… I can’t recommend it but the ,er, adult side of Skyrim modding is completely out of touch with what a real person looks like.
Edit. Over a day later and not a single upvote on my comment where I'm concerned about being weird, having to do with asymmetry. Either I really am the freak as I'd worried, or no one read the comment. I'm going to hold onto hope for the latter, but either way, the original comment is definitely getting removed by creator now.
I'm a simple guy with simple tastes. Conventional beauty works on me, although it's not the only kind of beauty that works. One thing that I've noticed though is that knowing about someones personality greatly affects whether I consider them beautiful. A fascist can tick all the conventional beauty boxes and I will still find them physically non-attractive.
There seems to be a lot more to physical attraction than just looks.
i don't like malnourished bodies or plastic-looking perfectly smooth skin or fake tans or square jaws or wide upside-down triangle-shaped torsos with way too many abs, so most TV people are not my type. whether muscular or thin or whatever else, people should not look like vacuum-sealed skeletons or dehydrated packets of lumps. i don't know if i have any particular and exclusive 'types' but 'Anorexic Supermodel' and 'Action Movie Meathead Guy' would definitely not be mine.
I think it's normal. Also some people might have like 1 "normally hot feature" but in a not "normally hot face" and it makes them super attractive. It's the reason that an asymmetrical smile or a big nose are considered "distinctive" but aren't hot but a million people will say "yes I want to jump their bones." Generic "hot" people are forgettable. There are exceptions to the rule of course. But they are exceptions for a reason.
Not that weird. There is a lot of perceived value in certain features that there is a level of cultural consensus about but that changes a lot too over time and between sub cultures and everyone has their own personal taste. The chuds are all drooling over Sydney Sweeneys breasts but for me personally there is something weird about her face that I can't put my finger on. And I much prefer brown hair over blonde so all in all the new "it girl" is not attractive to me at all.
Context matters too. Keira Knightley in Pirates of the Carribean? Stunning. Pirate queen of my heart. Keira Knightley in Pride and Prejudice? Boooo. Boring. Why does this version exist. The BBC miniseries with Colin Firth was much better. Same thing with guys. Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Carribean. Meowww. Orlando Bloom in Lord of the Rings? Also boring. I might actually just have a thing for pirates come to think of it 🤔