https://lemmy.world/post/616615 there are great tips in that thread, I think you can find a way.
The OG Lemmy meme.
3 days is one thing, 8 days is impossible, (unless you don't eat anything.)
I did a 7 days water fast and as far as I remember I only pooped on the second day or something.
What nostalgia this brings lmao. The not pooping for 3 days meme is just as iconic as the influx of beans posts.
Yeah, my hope was that more people would get the reference when I posted this.
We're here, bud.
You done good work
Fun fact of the day: extreme constipation can result in build up that can reach all the way to your stomach. If the situation does not clear up soon after, patients might throw up poop. This is extremely dangerous and often results in suffocation by shit.
Best fun fact of the day that I have ever read.
You're trolling, right? RIGHT!?
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE TROLLING!! PLEASE!!!!!
He's not and btw the proper name for this used in German is "Misere" which is originally Latin meaning "have mercy" but the word is also used to just described something as a really bad situation.
Just shit, because you are human and shitting is a thing that humans do.
this guy shits
The real accurate captcha. No bots will ever simulate this.
What about that robot scientists made that is literally just a digestive tract that shits?
this guy humans
So you are saying if I date androids they shit only if they have a fetish?
Hey bb, do you shit with that ass?
shit is a thing that some humans are, too.
Just use the lobby bathrooms at the hotel. If he loves you he’ll understand and be thankful.
Source: have done this myself
Y'all ladies need to read Everybody Poops if you think you need to sneak off to lobby bathrooms.
No. If I have to hide my poop he doesn't really love me
That's the way.
This is the strat
This is the best option. Go "ask for an extra towel". "
Opiates. Often and overly.
DO NOT MISS A DOSE!
Sugar free Haribo gummy bears, never mind that's the opposite.
Well once you've finished you'll be so cleared out that you'll have a waste deficit.
Idk if you can get them anymore after all the ruckus.
Olestra Pringles. Damn you Pringles, the "once you pop you can't stop" happens twice!
What a bizarre way to live, pretending you don't shit
Pretty sure it’s a joke
Might be, but it's also very much doable.
When I went to confirmation camp, it was on an island with no water toilets, only outhouses. Some of my peers just wouldn't use them for shitting, as they had never had to be without a "regular" toilet.
When there was a visiting day like a week after the start of the camp, I think someone had felt too nauseous and given in. I know this because I was assigned to empty the outhouse barrels. Which some mischievous visitors (older siblings who had gone through the camp themselves a year or couple before) had filled up to the brim with a hose, so all the shit was in liquid.
When we emptied them I saw a shit log the size of my forearm. All veiny and shit. Wouldn't be out of place in the South Park episode about massive poos.
So idk man, I think it's a joke but also, people do do that. ("Doo-doo", hehehe.)
You sweet summer child
Super glue your anus shut.
Disclaimer, do not do this, it's a horribly painful way to die.
Ha! I super glued mine OPEN as a joke!
"Haha guys, look at how open and easy to get into my anus is? what a joke right! look at it! dripping with lube as I shake it around provocatively! What a lark!"
The solution is to not give a shit.
Ah finally a topic that aligns with lemmys expertise.
Just "hold it in" on the second floor of the hotel. The conference floor.
Girl just poop
Butt plug maybe?
From experience: Army ration packs certainly help 👍
I wouldn't recommend fiber.
Everybody poops 2: that hole you've been fucking is full of shit.
Shit yourself in front of him, angry face style. Like a pain shit you're mad at. No embarrassment or tears. Own it. If he loves you after that, marry him
Maintain a state of intense terror the entire time.
Opiates
Don't eat anything
starting 2-3 days ahead
This is how you get stinky farts
I mean, why not let him get a full whiff of that bouquet? Sober him before you go any further.
Pending anal apocalypse
Easy. Only #1 in your hotel room bathroom, #2 in the hotel lobby bathroom, restaurant bathroom, or any other public bathroom.
That happened to me once. I required stitches afterwards.
0_o
i miss the days of my bygone youth when i only shat once a week.
and it was a firm, sturdy shit, One roll of toilet paper would last me months...never required more than the safety wipe.
Poopourry on Amazon. It helps.
Matches too, way cheaper
A trick I have is to eat less and eat fiber.
Ascend to a higher plane of existence. Then you can quickly unmanifest and remanifest a fresh body free of waste products.
Lots and lots of cheese
That's the opposite if you're even just a little bit lactose intolerant
Then hit a couple dulcolax a couple days before leaving to empty your guts out and refrain from filling them back up til you get where youre going
As someone with IBD (ulcerative colitis specifically) don't. It causes all kinds of problems.
