Dr. Alan Hart - Trans Megathread for the Week of December 9th, 2024 to December 15th, 2024
"Each of us must take into account the raw material which heredity dealt us at birth and the opportunities we have had along the way, and then work out for ourselves a sensible evaluation of our personalities and accomplishments."
Alan L. Hart (1890 – 1962) was a US American 20th-century physician, radiologist, disease researcher, and novelist who pioneered the use of x-ray in detection for tuberculosis. He spent the latter part of his career in public health, undoubtedly saving many thousands of lives across the country expanding tb services and education throughout rural areas. In 1917 Hart was one of the first people to undergo a gender affirming hysterectomy in the United States, and is the first documented case of a female to male transition in medical literature in the English speaking world.
“I had to do it. For years I had been unhappy. With all the inclinations and desires of the boy I had to restrain myself to the more conventional ways of the other sex. I have been happier since I made this change than I ever have in my life, and I will continue this way as long as I live’
Hart begin expressing himself as a boy starting at least age 4, and was largely accepted by his family as male, with his grandfathers obituary in 1921 listing Hart as his grandson. A family friend of his stated in a 1921 interview “Young Hart was different, even then. Boys' clothes just felt natural. Hart always regarded himself as a boy and begged his family to cut his hair and let him wear trousers. Hart disliked dolls but enjoyed playing doctor. He hated traditional girl tasks, preferring farm work with the menfolk instead. The self reliance that became a lifelong trait was evident early: once when he accidentally chopped off his fingertip with an axe, Hart dressed it himself, saying nothing about it to the family.” During childhood school, Hart wrote most of his assignments under his first chosen name of Robert Allen Bamford Jr.
Hart received a total of 4 degrees in his life. He received a pre med degree in 1912 from Portland, Oregon’s Lewis & Clark College, then known as Albany College, followed by a medicine degree doctorate from the University of Oregon Medical Department in Portland (now Oregon Health & Science University) in 1917. His doctorate was originally issued under "Hart, [deadname] aka Robert L., M.D.”. which prompted a legal name change in 1918. He took his first medical job at a Red Cross hospital at this point. In 1928, Hart received a master’s degree in radiology from the University of Pennsylvania and was named director of radiology at Tacoma General Hospital. After working for several years as a tuberculosis consultant in Washington and Idaho, Alan Hart moved with his wife to Hartford, Connecticut, where he received a master’s degree in public health from Yale University in 1948. Around this time, Hart began taking testosterone and is described as having a deeper voice and being able to grow facial hair as a result.
TUBERCULOSIS
Hart devoted much of his career to research and treatment of tuberculosis. By the dawn of the 19th century, tuberculosis—or consumption—had killed one in seven of all people that had ever lived. Throughout much of the 1800s, consumptive patients sought "the cure" in sanatoriums, where it was believed that rest and a healthful climate could change the course of the disease. In 1882, Robert Koch's discovery of the tubercule baccilum revealed that TB was not genetic, but rather highly contagious; it was also somewhat preventable through good hygiene. After some hesitation, the medical community embraced Koch's findings, and the U.S. launched massive public health campaigns to educate the public on tuberculosis prevention and treatment. TB usually attacked victims' lungs first; Hart was among the first physicians to document how it then spread, via the circulatory system, causing lesions on the kidneys, spine, and brain, eventually resulting in death. With no cure for the disease in its advanced stages the only hope for sufferers was early detection.
X-rays, or Roentgen rays as they were more commonly known until World War Two, had been discovered only in 1895, when Hart was five years old. In the early twentieth century they were used to detect bone fractures and tumors, but Hart became interested in their potential for detecting tuberculosis. Since the disease often presented no symptoms in its early stages, X-ray screening was invaluable for early detection. Even rudimentary early X-ray machines could detect the disease before it became critical. This allowed early treatment, often saving the patient's life. It also meant sufferers could be identified and isolated from the population, greatly lessening the spread of the disease. By the time antibiotics were introduced in the 1940s, doctors using the techniques Hart developed had managed to cut the tuberculosis death toll down to one fiftieth of what it had previously been.
In 1937, Hart was hired by the Idaho Tuberculosis Association and later became the state's Tuberculosis Control Officer. He established Idaho's first fixed-location and mobile TB screening clinics and spearheaded the state's war against tuberculosis. Between 1933 and 1945 Hart traveled extensively through rural Idaho, covering thousands of miles while lecturing, conducting mass TB screenings, training new staff, and treating the effects of the epidemic.
An experienced and accessible writer, Hart wrote widely for medical journals and popular publications, describing TB for technical and general audiences and giving advice on its prevention, detection, and cure. At the time the word "tuberculosis" carried a social stigma akin to venereal disease, so Hart insisted his clinics be referred to as "chest clinics", himself as a "chest doctor", and his patients as "chest patients". Discretion and compassion were important tools in treating the stigmatised disease.
In 1943, Hart, now recognized as pre-eminent in the field of tubercular roentgenology, compiled his extensive evidence on TB and other X-ray-detectable cases into a definitive compendium, These Mysterious Rays: A Nontechnical Discussion of the Uses of X-rays and Radium, Chiefly in Medicine, still a standard text today. The book was translated into Spanish and several other languages
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Why do the two things that effect who I am the most cause me so much pain I literally don't understand how anyone can like either of them. Maybe their experiences are just different then mine. Not a day goes by that I don't struggle because of them.
I want to be normal. I want to interact with people normally. I want to be able to build friendships normally. I don't want to hate my body. I don't want to cringe every time I speak. I want to be okay with change.
I'll never have that. I'll always be uncomfortable. With how I interact with others and my own body. That's my experience with being trans and ND. Wanting normal, healthy relationships and experiences but forever being on the other side of the glass. There's one friend who has made me feel not that way. But who I am still causes issues.
That's my identity I guess. Two massive problems that can't be cured, only treated. And I barely have the coping skills to even treat them. I don't know why I'm posting, I guess incessant whining is the third key part of me.
What’s the strategy for going to family gatherings after social transition? Do you just appear and explain you’re trans to people who ask about your change of appearance?
A long time ago, I lived in a basement suite that had a nice tiered garden. One day I saw a butterfly that kind of had some kind of camo like bird poop? It seemed to be struggling and couldn't fly back out of the basement patio. I brought it in and feed it a sugar slurry I had from when I brewed beer. It rested, stuck it's little proboscis out, drank deeply and then I went back outside and waited for it to fly. And it did.
Next year there were 5 of these bird poop butterflies all pretending to be mortally wounded lol
Having more than average horny thoughts recently and oh also i have a feral need to have someone put their mouth on my bitties and galls.
(The concept of) Men are starting to seem more hot and I'm suddenly experiencing the bi-cycle in reverse of what I'd feel pre-hrt where I question if I'm actually still attracted to women. Why do most cishet men have to be so gross though AHHHHHH.
Besides that, the other things I've noticed could also be attributed to regular ol estradiol. My hips are looking way wider, my ass continues to get rounder, I have the thighs of a fertility goddess, my boobs are rounding out, and my waist looks like I actually have a waist.
Omg call the volcel police on me, but I keep on watching my Australian Youtube crush and it's been making me so yearny for snuggles. Especially with how cold it is now, cold weather is perfect weather for warming up with snuggles. Guessing starting estrogen last week isn't helping, but omg I just wanna autistically rant about Pokemon and get headpats rn.
CW: Eating disorder
I'm making dinner, which I usually struggle with. I haven't really ate all day, because I often just feel like I don't deserve food, or just don't want to gain anti-psychotic weight, and I feel like I've been making good progress on not leaning into those feelings recently. I eat a lot on anti-psychotics, it's not binge eating, that's just really how it is on those meds. I've been refusing to accept that for months and it's been making everything worse, because I'd rather be bullemic than gain that weight I'm supposed to gain on meds. I'm honestly happy to be eating enough to gain weight right now. I might be a chubby girl, but at least I'll be doing good things for myself and I'm happy with that
Whenever I don't get attention I just assume the mods have shadowbanned me for some nefarious plot I'm unaware of, mods really read 1984 and thought it was a playbook
I've been thinking of getting on HRT for a couple months now, but I've been apprehensive for one reason: everything I've seen/read about it says it makes you smaller/weaker. I'm already a pretty short and weak person (I'm probably slightly below the average height for women in the US as is). For merely practical reasons I don't want this; if I had to defend myself in a fight or had to work a physically strenuous job, I want/need any small advantage I can get.
idk, I know there's no good answer or response to my concerns, I just want to vent ig. If anyone else has gone through a similar struggle please tell me what did/didn't convince you to get on HRT.
i'm iffy on doing 6 month celebrations but so much has changed in the period since my egg cracked. i'm definitely starting to settle into myself, i would say this is the most confident i've been in my life. i have so much to look forward to and am so grateful for what's already happened
i looked in the mirror the other day and while there's still a laundry list of things i want to change, my lesbian ass was like "god damn i'm gonna be so fucking hot"
also i'll be celebrating today by adding a new pronoun. i've been jealous of everyone else's and thought i might try it out cause why not?
to Hexbear and more specifically all of you in this megathread, i can't thank you enough for what you mean to me. oh and apologies for the preening (not really)
Assessing the state of my life with clear eyes right now after years of neglect. Something needs to change rapidly. Ive been out of work for too long. If I cant get something going rapidly I will have to have move back in with family to get a solid foundation to rebuild my life. Not an ideal situation, but they are mostly good with me being trans and I wont be homeless. Surviving is winning. Everything else is bullshit. Whatever it takes. Survive
Wtf is up with the job market? I cant get a word back from any retail job even with previous experience. Even part time no benefit bullshit retail jobs arent responding. Fucking Walmart hasnt even looked at my application after a month according to their website
I ended up recording my own voice instead of using text-to-speech. I was really anxious for a while, but as I got into it, it got a little better, and I actually think I had a pretty good voice going . Bad news though, because audio engineering is my passion. I, in my infinite wisdom, thought that making use of a bug in the recording software could benefit me in two ways. One, speed up my voice so I can fit more information in the time frame without it sounding unnatural, and two, slightly increasing the pitch of my voice.
As a result, my amazing voice sounded too high-pitched in the recording, and the way the audio warped made it sound extra-nasally. The lesson of this story is: have trust and confidence in yourself. Not doing so feels worse, and may screw you over.
mental health stuff, self image/identity musing? Drugs/alcohol/sobriety stuff
I know it's a pretty standard trans 101/egg crack kinda line of thought, but I was walking around listening to one of my favorite albums from when I was a teenager and thinking about how I felt about it at the time vs now and how my sense of self has changed since then, and I had the kind of "well if you felt (way x) about yourself then and (way y) now, what if you feel (way z) after the same amount of time since (x) to now passes in the future and you're not really the kind of person you understand yourself as right now? A lot changed in that last decade/decade and a half" and I kinda worked through the basic "what do you think you want to be like when you're old(er)?" all over again, and it was already the case for the most part but "I don't want to be a guy, and I definitely never want to be an old man" really crystallized mentally for me
I dunno if I'll be an old lady someday or some other kind of weird old queer or something, but I guess I hadn't really ever fully solidified that thought entirely in my head and it was kind of a relief to settle it to myself but I got kinda emotional and afraid for the future and sad about how much time I feel like I've wasted
drugs/shrooms/nicotine/caffeine/alcohol, relapse
Been micro dosing shrooms in addition to relapsing on cigarettes, a steady diet of kratom, and slipped off the teetotaling wagon a bit recently
I feel like shrooms and kratom have been really good for me mentally, but shrooms really make me crave smokes, and I've been under a ton of stress and relapsed and got drunk the other night
Didn't get sloppy or do anything stupid but I still feel kinda shitty about it
It feels like a pathetic weasely post-hoc justification to myself, but my silver lining has been avoiding spirits and sticking to wine
If I drink anything 80 proof or higher, it gets ugly quick and I've kept myself from doing that
Idk if total sobriety from alcohol is even feasible for me long term
Pretty sure there's a big genetic component to family alcoholism and I'm pretty certain I got it from my dad
Booze doesn't seem to effect me the same way it does for most people, like how stimulants effect ADHD ppl different. I dunno. I hate that any time I get drunk, there's a part of my brain that's like, "see, our brain needs some of this to work 'normal', look at how much better we're masking and how much less anxious and irritable we are! Isn't this great??" and partially feeling that way in the moment and my own conflicted response of the rest of me wanting to be a teetotaler really fuels a self loathing spiral
I dunno, I'm trying really hard to improve myself and it's exhausting and I'm never really satisfied with the results and don't know what to do about that
Can anyone DM me any reliable estradiol powder vendors that I could reach out to? I am planning to stockpile pills at my next prescription refills, but I am interested in making estrogel as a backup. I have experience in chemistry, and have "access" to equipment to evaluate purity/contamination.
slowly starting to come to the realization that I'm kinda like a cat. I can take care of myself but someone really should be taking care of me. I would give them presents and purr in their laps all day.
So I tried dating t4t poly dating for the first time, and it's been like kind of a mess.
Basically when I told my friend about the person I was dating, he warned me saying that his ex had had a bad experience with her. I asked her about this, and she told me a different version of the sorry, and that the friend's ex had been spreading rumors about my date for years to cover up her own abuse.
So both the person I was dating and the accuser are poly. I was contacted by other partners of both of these people to support their partner and tell me bad things abpit the other person. There is apparently a lot of history here. I have no way of knowing who did the wrong thing here or what really happened. But I do know what I feel like I am involved in some sort of feud between two polycules, lasting several years at least, which is ridiculous and I hate it.
Even without the feud, I found it very off-putting that as soon as there was a problem between the person I was dating and myself her other partners immediately stepped in. One of them wanted to set up a meeting so that we could discuss the things I had been told and they could "take action". I had never met this other person before. She is cis, which is fine I guess but I am exclusively t4t and I really hate the idea of involving a random cis person in my relationship. Honestly it felt like I was getting emails from HR or something.
I'm not against being poly, or having an open relationship, or dating someone who is. But like it seems really weird and unfair that this person's other partners will immediately get involved when I haven't even met them before, and I don't have any other partners of my own at the moment.
I'm definitely done with this whole mess, and I hope to avoid these people in the future. But I imagine there are people here who have had good experiences with this type of thing. So like how is it supposed to work? Should I have met the other partners sooner? Should I not date someone when I'm not really interested in a relationship with their other parents? Idk
I've stayed alive thus far because whenever I start to read those spooky chain emails/messages "repost/send to 5 other people or else" I've learned to turn my brain off in the first couple of words. Believe me I'm gullible as shit but blessed with this brain of mine that deflects curses
In between video game ost ambience vids and dragon ball what ifs/powerscaling vids yt is starting to recommend me advice for sigma women, nice to know the mighty algorithm recognizes my sigma nature
I measured my bust for fun today. Had some help from a friend that came over. My measurements are as follows
Titty measurements
Underbust - 39"
Overbust - 50motherfuckinginches
That translates to a 40J. Of course, once the swelling goes down and everything slides into place, it'll probably be more of a 40H/38I, but still holy fuck.
Did the financial account shit I've been putting off forever and it went well!! I'm not totally broke for the first time in ages??? I went shopping???? I never do that normally but I got some clothes and went to a cool retro vidya store and it was really nice and I spent way too much on games I might not play but I got a ton of cool shit and the people there were really nice and cool to me?? I had an actual good day for once and don't know how to process it actually lmao but everything's coming up LocalOaf!
@GayTuckerCarlson@hexbear.net I can't stop saying "what is going on???" to myself when I see shitty drivers doing something stupid now and I love it (we love it, don't we folks?? ) but I blame you and Nick Mullen lmao
Thought I was straight and cis? Guess again. Don't believe me? Take a look.
Struggling very hard to piece my life together after years of seriously neglecting myself and everything around me. I feel my eyes opening up after years of repression and its not a good situation I find myself in
Everything is fucked. Everything is gone. Very few possessions in my name. Im at rock bottom. its a nice feeling tbh, everything is wiped away and now I can build something totally new
I didn't really realize the importance of practicing non-verbal vocalizations until lunch the other day at work I was looking at AE cat toys inspired by seeing some flopping fish that was swat activated and I saw a stoned cartoon penguin looking toy making goofy sounds getting batted around by a cat (at first hesitantly then with enjoyment) on an ad and I just lost it. Everyone stared at me weird, hard to say if its because I'm serious and rarely laugh, or because I knew that laugh was more of a giggle. I did find a fish that looked decent and did get some sort of birb, not the stoned penguin, I wouldn't have survived that, and it was a bit out of budget. I'm not sure if my cats will go for it, but they do love their fish kick-toy.
I was also so hosed and tired at work I unthinkingly ran an agripop line on an old customer who tells stories of being a fed. Oops. Should have seen his face. I'd ask what's wrong with me, but that's what happens when you're so deep-fried from heavy workweeks on shit wages all you need is salt and dipping sauce, filter is long gone.
Its my hrt aniversary, and today has been a good day. I celebrate it instead of my bday cause of bad bday shit, and its so nice to celebrate me and not the day i came into this world!
It feels bad though, I don't even have the energy to think about Gender much or like, read Psycho Nymph Exile. I somehow have less spoons now than when I was employed. This fucking sucks & I am going to die probably. Sorry for posting badly...
My facial dysmorphia is so bad Earlier today my face looked really masculine in the mirror, but now it's like a switch flipped in my brain and I can only perceive my face as feminine and really close to passing. I have no idea what I actually look like.
I know I've been posting about these in tracha a lot, but I want to post more about it (and also get back into the swing of posting here in general again).
Last in person exam of the semester done, feeling pretty good about all my classes, now I have the rest of the week to just focus on my last few online exams. I'm glad this mess of a semester managed to calm down a bit, even if it's during what's normally the busiest time of the semester lol.
It's like 7am and I've been up for like 26 hours but I have a (good post‽) to make about Gender and an album I like a lot, please remind me to share my thoughts on it because it might be good idk
(Protest the Hero's first two albums in case you're curious)
Well got my passport back and they didn't fix the gender marker, despite marking that there was a change on the DS-11. Now I have to submit a DS-5504 and pray that everything gets expedited in time, and that they actually fix it. At least I was able to get the same passport photo reprinted, as I need to send in a new one and didn't have time to do makeup this morning.
I also need to go to the SSA and get the gender marker fixed there. Been cutting it close on these documents, but have been so fucking busy.
I was doing sex last night but I just had a rough poo so my hole is out of commission until it heals We still had a great time but my I really wanted some penetration
My sibilings (including my NB sibiling) were making fun of neopronouns in front of me. This is why I don't use them IRL and just stick with she/her or she/they. Why does this have to be this way, especially with my enby sibiling. I would expect them to be more receptive to neopronouns
I've spent the last two weeks thinking about whether it's time to kill myself. I don't have an answer yet. I feel like I'm staring off the cliff of my life and I don't feel either ready to jump or walk away. I'm just staring, feeling less, existing with a vagina, being asked to perform, to cry, to justify myself and beg for surgeons offices to listen to me.
I don't know what to do, so I just keep staring and hoping I'll understand what's next.
I just sobbed after work and need to go to the grocery store. My face won't be cleared up, but I need to eat, so it's time to go in now.
I’m having trouble really figuring out this community. Should I not be talking about my ex? No one seems to interact with that. Or is it that no one can relate? The user base does seem fairly young so idk.
Don’t mind me just trying to sus this place out. It’s confusing what you folks interact with.
Well I've been on estrogen for a week, and my bisexuality has been going absolutely insane. I want cuddles still, but I've actually never been this interested in sex before. It honestly feels kinda nice. Don't know if it's just a placebo or not, but I've just felt like a much emotionally warmer person over the week and I've been really happy about that
This girl on Love Is Blind says she does “Service Industry stuff guys might have a problem with” and it’s bartending and whatever “bottle service is”.
Is there some innuendo I am missing…or do I not know what bottle service is or are Cishet just weird?
Like the guy was like “yeah that could be a lot to handle, but I’m confident” like…wtf is wrong with bartending!?
I haven't been in a changeroom since childhood... never thought of public bathrooms as a gendered social interaction though, and I (at least used to, much less now) use those all the time, huh. I am probably genuinely entirely unaware.
I mean I guess for me I get very in my head about it, first of all I hate strangers hearing me use the restroom, and I guess I get a little afraid using the woman's even after all these years. So I'd call that gendered, at least for me. More neutral bathrooms tbh. But I think cis people find gendered bathrooms gender affirming, so...
Say it to me again please, ahhhh I fucking adore being around people who've been at it as long as or longer than me, mmmmmm...
I am 15 years in! and i am very happy with how it all turned out. Every time someone says "My boobs are tiny and I've been on E for 2 years" I just want to tell them that the growing doesn't stop for like a decade lol. Also CPA is great.
I wonder about how I carry myself, now that I think about it. I know I stand different now but that's not really conscious, my knees bent inward at some point. I guess probably some of the ways I exist read typically femme, but the constructing-signals and performative thing, uh... I never really internalised the passage from orange book in which Maria talks about how 'there's going to have to be some intentionality in the way I present myself if I want to get read correctly'. In orange book parlence: Dude, no?
Yeah, I did all that, honestly it felt kinda fun, natural, and affirming at the time. But I agree, no one should have to conform in this way unless they want to, both because the "woman" box constructed by society is tiny and we should enlargen it, and also not everyone wants to identify as "woman."
(DID YOU KNOW: FOR CHECKING YOUR NAILS FANNING YOUR FINGERS IS "MASC" BUT CURLING THEM IS "FEMME"???? It is not, but such is the board lmao)
jesus i think i just caught a brainworm from reading this, i literally have seen women in sitcoms do both... wow lol
unironically I had a way worse correctly-gendered percentage back when I was trying to intentionally present "as a woman". It unironically seems to work better when I don't give a shit, and wear like hoodies and sweats and shit. Unsure if this is a natural-comfort-confidence thing or a hormones thing or something else...
I am not sure! If I had to guess I think that being comfortable in your presentation is a big factor in getting read correctly. I like dressing up but I get super nervous and definitely feel like I don't fit in like I do when I "tomboy" it up.
Holy fuck how horrifying
haha yep and now i listen to Fall Out Boy so maybe that's not a lot better.
it's tough rn for me, luckily my job is pretty chill. When there's emergencies I am able to focus, but I struggle to do things on my own, like read docs etc.
Watching youtube videos used to help, sometimes the right music does, turns out watching people drive garbage trucks on livestreams is good or people clearing out beaver dams or play silly games...
I think it helps, because I am chronically understimulated. Sometimes I will play a bit of guitar if I need to think, the finger motion even though I'm just "noodling" helps jog my brain and get it into a better state.
I think caffeine helps me too, I am always coffee, but these days I'm wondering if I should pursue ADHD medication. Friend of mine just got diagnosed and went on and she's having a really good time with the meds, making her way through a nursing program now when she was really struggling before medication. I'd like to be able to focus better...so...
Having someone close to me would’ve really helped these past two weeks. It’s been pretty lonely since I can’t get out and hang out with people. My caretaker is literally just a family member, so not much to be gained there. She’s doing okay, but kinda just sits there on her phone until I yell for water or something. Even then, she’s made herself sparse since I became more mobile. Eh.
I need to get back on the dating bandwagon sooner or later. Just don’t like doing it this close to 40 as a transwoman. Maybe after I’m fully recovered. Not sure if I’m ready yet though.
I'm dooming rn, I convinced myself that 26 is too old to pass completely as a woman, even with HRT. Some people say it doesn't do much anymore at my age, which I don't fully believe but I'm still panicking over it. I'm afraid I'll keep looking and sounding like a man forever.
tiddies question: I typically never take off a bralette, even when I'm sleeping. idk why but it just feels normal and affirming to me. is this going to stop my tiddies from growing? do i need to let the girls free every once in a while or should I be fine to keep wearing something over them all the time