Anon goes out with friends

I'm beginning to think Pizza guys are the heroes we need
- They give us what we all crave: stuffed crust
  
  More pizza deliveries die on job than blue guys. Where thin bread line
- Pizza guy here, the best way to show gratitude is with a large gratuity.
  
  Gratitude all over me don't worry about my hair
- Hiro Protagonist would agree
- https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Dog_Mendon%C3%A7a_%26_Pizzaboy
  
  And to Amazon I go

That evening, someone didn't get the pizza they ordered. They must've been pretty bummed about it. But Anon was certainly happier to eat it than they were upset to not get it, so total happiness increases!
- Anon told his boss, so maybe boss ordered another pizza?
  
  yea most likely someone just had to wait double the time for their pizza, which can be as little as 20minutes
- I heard someone jumped off of that bridge that night due to being so bummed about not getting their pizza.
  
  I heard it was the entire family.
- Probably the boss explained something happened and sent them another pizze for free or gave them a refund.

That pizza guy's name? Albert Einstein
- Directed by Christopher Nolan
  
  Produced by Harvey Weinstein
- /r/nothingeverhappens

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
- This is a good saying and sometimes true, but mental illness is usually a forever problem. I don't say that to disparage it either; depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and internalized abuse fucking suck and it takes a while to tear down the self preservation instinct to the point where an ending can seem appealing, even if just for a moment.
  
  This is why we need to legalize psychedelics. When paired with counseling, they can create moments where you can see alternatives, which gives therapy a solid shot at success even for advanced cases.
  
  Eventually I realized that life itself is a temporary problem in the grand scheme of infinities. That realization kept me alive long enough to develop more positive coping tools.
- A permanent solution sounds pretty nice
- Works 100% of the time when completed. You can't argue with results
- If you think this you're incredibly privileged.
  
  I'm also incredibly handsome, too
- One person's problem is over but everyone who cared about them has problems that are just beginning
- the temporary problem of always being a corporate slave until I die anyways, and failing every attempt at running a business or getting a better paying job, etc. Health continually tanking, bloody poop, constant migraines, cognitive decline, way behind on taxes again, feeling stressed out by any and all social stuff, no motovation to do anything yet trudging on for no idea why, nothing is fun, earth is being killed by the ultra rich and nothing is working, the masses are becoming more stupid and only helping worsen everything. dunno probably more. it comes and goes for me. my animals still need me but if I didn't have them I wouldn't have the energy for more of this shit. Maybe if it didn't cost so much to merely be alive, let alone do or have enjoyable things.
  
  All those issues are solvable, as long as you're still alive

I mean, to be fair he was literally out with a friend. A new friend, yes, but a friend.
- That is, indeed, the point of that line.
  
  No, the point of that line is that he did not, in fact, told his parents about his suicide attempt.

Got stopped by a rando while trying to build up the courage to jump. Told him that my car was broken down and that's why I was stopped in the middle of the bridge in pouring down rain.
He got out and offered to help me, despite the fact that it was 3AM and the rain was coming down hard.
Awkward.
The car of course started just fine and I thanked him and continued my drive home.
I doubt he had any idea the difference he made.

I don't understand the 'an hero' sentence, can someone enlighten me?
- An hero means suicide.
  
  I kind of figured, but not really how.
  But through the power of internet search I found out:
  https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/an-hero
- Reference to a 4chan bullying campaign against a family whose son killed themselves and they made a grammar mistake on the Facebook post.
  
  Yeah I k=v=found the reference and posted a follow up. But thnx for exxplaining.

Don't let your worst day be your last. A large portion of people who survive true suicide attempts tell you they changed their mind as they jumped.
If you're feeling suicidal, the solution isn't to remove yourself from the situation. The solution is to get out of the situation that makes you feel that way. There are people who want to help you do that. Make the call ❤️
- A large portion of people who survive true suicide attempts tell you they changed their mind as they jumped.
  I've never been personally suicidal, but if there's ever been anything that made me fear the idea of ever doing it, it would be "The View From Halfway Down" in Bojack Horseman (both the episode and the titular poem)
  
  Bojack Horseman would have gone down in history as legendary if they had let that be the last episode. I didn't particularly like the final episode. Maybe i just didn't get what it was going for but the build up to what seemed like bojack dying alone through every fault of his own would have been an extremely fitting end for the series. Just my opinion tho.
  I can't rewatch the series because of that episode punching far too close to home and because i didn't like the actual ending. Epic episode instant existential spiral.
- remove yourself from the situation
  Well, that's literally the same thing, at least in my area. But point taken. :)
  
  Ha, I didn't make it very clear, but yes, the solution is not to remove yourself from "them" but to get "them" away from you, whoever or whatever those aggravating conditions may be
- The solution is to get out of the situation that makes you feel that way.
  Cool, I'll just send you an invoice for my rent then.
  
  I'm not a charity, but there are many, when you decide to be strong and change instead of weak and taking it lying down.
- Well to be fair, to get out of the situation that makes you feel that way is pretty similar as to remove yourself from it.
  But I'm being pedantic, I do get what you mean of course. Personally I'm not really against ending ones own life per se, only the dramatic options that usually lead to all kinds of trauma should be looked at. We can handle this as a society with a gentle support for those who'd like to pass away.
  It can be an acceptable solution to ones pain; but for the sake of your surroundings it should perhaps not be the first.

was actually going to an hero
This is the most awkward fragment I've ever seen. Was it a typo? Autocorrect? Pasted in the wrong spot? All 3??
I can't seem to fix it. Not what this post is about but it annoyed me, so now you have to be annoyed as well.
EDIT: Got it, it's celebrating suicide. I never got into 4chan or their specific culture, and right now, that's my sole source of comfort.
- A few comments below taught me that it apparently originates from this meme where it was a mix of a typo and a loving description of a suicidal person.
  
  wow, just when you think 4chan can't sink any lower
- 'An hero' is an old 4chanism that means committing suicide
- iirc it comes from a someone posting about thier son who killed themselves and made a typo saying "he was an hero" so naturally 4chan turned the phrase "an hero" into a way to say "to commit suicide".
  
  Thank you. That's... awful.
- 'an hero' means to suicide
- Fuckin hell I'm old lmao. Anyone else with me? This was the standard speak of 4chan back in like.... '07...'08?
  
  Like '05, it's old. Fuck. I'm old.
- It isn't exactly celebrating suicide, it's kinda making fun of it in a way.
  It started from some myspace post long long ago, in which some kid named Mitchell had killed himself and one of their friends or family members made a memorial myspace page about it including the typo "He was such an hero, to take it all away." The post continues to use "an hero" multiple times, (h/o I bet I can find it, brb.)
  /b/tards latched onto it pretty quick, and the meme became that people who killed themselves are "an hero" just like Mitchell.

Anon left out the sweaty buttsex.
- Not everything is about sex.
  
  But also not everything isn't.
  
  Uh..yes it is

Are there any pizza places that deliver at 1 AM?
- There was a place near my college that delivered until 4am. Horrible pizza. Got it all the time.
- There are 24/7 pizza places in sufficiently big cities. I think there are 2 or 3 here; I know there's at least 1. As well as a Chinese place and a Mexican place that are bomb as fuck, especially at 2 in the morning.
  
  The rural mind cannot comprehend, to be honest.
- i worked at a Dominos that would regularly be delivering that late
- Mad Mushroom Pizza. I only know of locations in Lexington, KY, and Lafayette, IN. They may have opened a few more locations.
  
  Oh damn I forgot about them. Real good from what I remember
- Any reasonably sized city will have a couple joints.
  Back when I was drinking heavily I ordered after the bars closed more than once.
- Of course, that's not even late
- Most decent pizza places stay open at least as late as the bars, most great pizza places stay open an hour or two later than the bars, or are open 24/7