Trans megathread for the week of September 23rd to 29th. - How to preform CPR
(Images can be enlarged if needed)
Cardiac arrest, also known as Sudden Cardiac Arrest, is when the heart stops beating suddenly. The lack of blood flow to the brain and other organs can cause a person to lose consciousness, become disabled or die if not treated immediately.
The terms ‘heart attack’ and ‘cardiac arrest’ are often used interchangeably, but these are two different heart conditions.
A heart attack occurs when there is a blockage in the arteries that stops blood flow in the heart. Due to the lack of blood and oxygen flowing in the heart, the heart muscle tissue will become damaged. Heart attacks can increase the risk for cardiac arrest because heart attacks can alter electrical signals in the heart.
CPR – or Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation – is an emergency lifesaving procedure performed when the heart stops beating. Immediate CPR can double or triple chances of survival after cardiac arrest.
If someone experiences cardiac arrest, they need immediate treatment to increase the flow of oxygen-rich blood to their organs. CPR is the compression over the chest to manually pump a patients heart. Rescue breaths are preformed to provide oxygen to the body.
During CPR, proper hand placement on the lower half of the sternum is crucial. Placing hands over the sternum ensures effective chest compressions directly above the heart, optimizing blood circulation throughout the body.
According to the American Heart Association (AHA), the overall survival rate for out-of-hospital cardiac arrest is around 10%. However, survival rates can be improved if bystander CPR is started immediately. Studies have shown that bystander CPR increases the chances of survival for someone experiencing cardiac arrest. In fact, the AHA reports that survival rates increases to 40% or higher when bystander CPR is performed promptly. The surival rate is between 24% and 40% for those that happen in the hospital, according to the report published online in the Emergency Medicine Journal.
CPR is preformed between 100 - 120 beats per minute. Famously Staying Alive by the Bee Gees is the same beat. A large list of songs with the correct BPM can be found here
The American Red Cross gives the following list of steps to asses if CPR is needed and how to preform:
1
CHECK the scene for safety, form an initial impression and use personal protective equipment (PPE)
2
If the person appears unresponsive, CHECK for responsiveness, breathing, life-threatening bleeding or other life-threatening conditions using shout-tap-shout
3
If the person does not respond and is not breathing or only gasping, CALL 9-1-1 and get equipment, or tell someone to do so
4
Kneel beside the person. Place the person on their back on a firm, flat surface
5
The American Red Cross CPR guidelines recommend 100 to 120 chest compressions per minute, 30 at a time. Remember these five points:
Hand position: Two hands centered on the chest
Body position: Shoulders directly over hands; elbows locked
Compression depth: At least 2 inches
Rate of compressions: 100 to 120 per minute
Allow chest to return to normal position after each compression
6
Give 2 breaths
Open the airway to a past-neutral position using the head-tilt/chin-lift technique
Pinch the nose shut, take a normal breath, and make complete seal over the person’s mouth with your mouth.
Ensure each breath lasts about 1 second and makes the chest rise; allow air to exit before giving the next breath
Note: If the 1st breath does not cause the chest to rise, retilt the head and ensure a proper seal before giving the 2nd breath If the 2nd breath does not make the chest rise, an object may be blocking the airway
7
Continue giving sets of 30 chest compressions and 2 breaths. Use an AED as soon as one is available! Minimize interruptions to chest compressions to less than 10 seconds.
As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It's for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.
Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.
Been working on trying to reign in my irritability and stress response lately. I'm going through some rough family shit that I might hash some of it out here later, but I've been trying to remind myself that the initial impulse of wanting to snap at a stressor and overreact is a hind brain response and not a conscious choice to feel, but the way I internalize and act after having it is and to be kinder to myself and be prouder of dealing with shit sometimes without lashing out at anyone or throwing a tantrum.
On that note, I got a recommendation to just set aside a little thing that brightened my day or I thought was neat as a mindfulness thing to try to look for positives in mundane day to day stuff even when I'm stressed and anxious or depressed.
If it's a little knickknack kinda thing like a coin or a cool looking rock I find or something and it ends up in my pocket, at the end of the day I end up putting it in the windowsill in my kitchen before I start getting ready for bed. Anyway, today I got a lil' feather from a Stellar's jay that I found while changing the water in my bird bath. It fits perfect in this little incense holder, and I just think it's neat.
I need to be talking about kink more, I think. I have the seeds of the kink special interest, maybe. Dangerous ground but the sort of uh, psychology? Mentality? Internal goings-on around and related to kink fascinate me utterly, I adore it. I also think it's stellar how it intersects with things like autism, or even trauma. It's very fucking cool, there's something deeper to it. Coincidentally I'm really glad I did all that ugly trauma processing months ago so that I can more directly talk about this stuff, and have it be relevant to me.
Also I just love (trans) people, truthfully. I don't get on with most because I'm jagged and weird socially but I love talking interpersonal stuff, especially when you and your conversation buddy can bounce back and forth between light chatter about your interests and deep, considered discussion of interpersonal or internal matters. Bonus points if you have threaded conversations and talk about both and more at once. I really feel a fast and firm connection to anyone who can do this w/me.
The trick is not to talk to allistics (or cis people lmao) so much. A few of them might be okay, but while not everyone with autism is a cool person obviously, talking to autistic people that you really click with is on suuuuuch a different level. Thank you, autistic conversation partners my beloved.
"thing will take [estimated timeframe for completion]"
"you have [fraction of timeframe given]"
& it happens so much in star trek
like it seems to me that at best it suggests "everyone below me in the hierarchy is actively deciding to be inefficient" & at worst "threatening / harming people will give them the ability to perform superhuman acts in your service"
i want a movie that sets up a situation like that & then rapidly develops into a crime farce because Doing the Thing literally was not at all possible
watched the barbie movie. it's aight. the stuff I liked the most was costuming, set design, and choreography; the plot was pretty fucking mid. the ken discovering patriarchy stuff was kinda funny, but a pretty meh plot overall. it's just the same kinda fuax aspirational liberalism barbie has always been while integrating critiques of itself to be like 'actually, we get hyper femme perfect barbie and president barbie is unatainable. you just have to be you. and things will be not great, but ok :) ), and I found that pretty mid.
why was this movie so popular? like it's ok, it's not bad, it's just not non stop months of memes and pop cultural relevance good. is it really just the barben-himer thing?
So, I have a psychiatric medical consult coming up. I don't know exactly how it could go, since I have never had a psychiatric appointment and I have ~15 years of untreated mental health issues to unpack, along with gender care. I am worried about HRT not coming up. I will definitely insist on discussing it, but I am curious if anyone has experiences they'd been willing to share.
Kittens SHOCK local oaf by sleeping overnight together in the baby basket instead of oaf bed, allow uninterrupted sleep for first time in recent memory
started reading 'The Modern World-System I: Capitalist Agriculture and the Origins of the European World-Economy in the Sixteenth Century' by Marxist Immanuel Wallerstein. it's his 4 part magnum opus on modern history, an analysis of imperialism, and all that kinda stuff. why shit is how it is.
I suggested to me wife we both to read through all 4 books together, and compare notes as we go. gonna be a whole long ass thing, but it is an area I am quite well read in already and one I wanted her to read more on, as well as myself. she's far more into the value form theory than I am, but she has a sociology degree so it's not like all of this is foreign to her. the development of modern capitalism and he proliferation of capitalism is just a special interst of mine
The trans clinic where I'm getting my electrolysis needs new techs so badly that they're sponsoring people to get certification so I asked my tech to put my name forward. This could be a great opportunity for me if I can get in.
hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku she was from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if if she was from hatsune she was hatsune miku she was from if she was from hatsune miku from hatsune miku if miku hatsune from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if she was from hatsune miku if she she was from hatsune miku if she was from miku if she was from hatsune miku miku miku miku miku miku miku miku miku
Need to get a notebook because I have so many gay little jokes that I think of when I'm about to get on bed to sleep, and I just forget them in the morning
Holy crap the new Zelda game is so cute and giving me that same sense of wonder the first game did when I was a kid. I'm in gamer girl heaven right now.
spoiler
She's a wizard! You copy and then summon objects and monsters. Puts a fun twist on puzzles and combat.
One of the "signs you're trans" symptoms I see often is "imagining yourself as the opposite gender". For a long time I didn't think this one applied to me, but thinking back, it kind of did. I didn't think it applies because I never imagined a feminized version of myself, but sometimes, in some situations, I imagined myself as a fictional female character, or some completely imaginary person that doesn't look anything like me (in terms of facial/body features, ethnicity, etc). Did anyone else experience "imagining yourself as the opposite gender" like this?
Thanks to all the nerds on hexbear (particularly @BountifulEggnog@hexbear.net ) I am playing Minecraft Java again, really really, for the first time in almost ten years.
What's a shield? Why is there is dopey sword icon under my crosshair?
I started writing this, and then before posting I (for once) actually considered if this should be spoilered lol
weird horni thoughts
In the realm of possibilities it's kind of bullshit that we have such boring courtship rituals and no rutting season.
Imagine, if you will, humans had a 4 month rutting season - the other 8 months of the year, sex doesn't matter, you don't even notice any secondary sex characteristics even. What a relief! Now combine that 4 month rutting season with bird courtship rituals. You want to mate this season? You have to build me a house. Also do a funky dance. Also put a bunch of blue around it. Hmm, okay you're cute enough and you did build me a house.
I'm not being unreasonable, of course I'd love spider habits of eating anyone's head off as a nice snack if they didn't do well enough for me (sometimes even if they did do well enough but I'm hungry). I'm not saying we should have that. I am saying we could've had something neat and weird and we ended up with dating apps.
Well chat, I did it. I went into public and bought makeup. Holy shit is it expensive. However! I survived and it turned out great! I've taken about 30 selfies since I finished it so I must have done something right!
so I'm a few years in, and the dysphoria hits a lot less than it used to. conversely so does the euphoria, it's all just very normal to me now, which is fine and cool. but when the euphoria does hit... it's a real treat. last night i was preening a bit in the mirror over my hair, which is probably my favourite physical feature of mine. it's overgrown at the moment so instead of my preferred messy short-ish bangs I've got a middle part. my fringe has grown enough to be past the awkward stage and I actually quite like the style on me now. for fun I decided to sweep my whole fringe sideways for a scene hair kinda look... i looked really cute, but I wasn't prepared for the emotional impact on my little emo heart. i just really had one of those we made it moments. I broke down happy crying, totally overwhelmed (I had been feeling fairly dysregulated throughout the day). those moments, while they might end up fewer and farther between, make it all worth it. cultivate and cherish trans joy comrades. love you all
Me yesterday: "Dyke lifts dyke lifts lfg, becoming powerful!!! Whatsup everybody I'm productive and powerful, today was a good day, lfg"
Me today: "Oooooooough My chest ow fuck my chronic painy nerves, even walking is hard, how joever is it "
Wow I feel so fuckin bad, I am not moving today. Cooked, washed.
Update: after taking the usual bullshit pill mix it's still kinda painful but I can move okay. Not like last night where I could barely get up to walk.
But ordered a new journal and going to start the gender euphoria workbook videos. Also working through a pain management workbook.
Hoping to get my physical health and dysphoria on an upward spiral. Going to bed stoned so I can sleep and waking up inflamed everyday is not the life I want.
I think I'm actually finally going to go makeup shopping today. I have a few hours to kill this afternoon between Dr appointments and I can't think of a single thing that would be a better use of my time.
This is stupid as fuck and I need to talk about this or I’m going to almost certainly be overthinking it all night.
heterophobia?
I had a long and pleasant conversation with a guy and one of his friends tonight that went sour pretty quickly and I’m not really even sure what just happened. He was very charming all night and his friend (also a woman) was very nice. Somehow the topic of sexuality came up and we were playfully saying things like “I like tacos and cucumbers equally”, just dumb stuff like that. I was teasing him a little because he said he “didn’t like hotdogs”, to which I cheekily said “free your mind of its shackles, young padawan. there is no spoon.”
He starts going off about how he must just be different because he doesn’t “force his opinions on anyone else” and after thinking he was also still just joking around, I said, “fine, fine I’ll quit bullying you, for now”
He was completely serious! He went on about how I “give people like me (a bisexual woman) a bad name” (???) and by this point I was completely done with the conversation. I was taken aback that he was being so serious about this and told him “you must not be very confident if this is all it takes to get you riled up”, checked out and left immediately.
Listen, like I said, I know this is dumb as hell, but was I actually in the wrong? I thought I was just being a little teasing, nothing serious, but apparently I was “shoving my opinions on everyone else.”
Trans mega, was I a jerk? Or is this guy a weirdo?
I can't believe I feel like I already need more clothes. I thought I would be done, but I was very much not ready for the season change. Anybody have some recommendations on what looks good to wear in the fall and/or winter? I have very bad fashion sense, all I've gotten are a couple of pairs of jeans.
I bought a giant mega game for vampire the masquerade.
I do not have 64 people to play vampire the masquerade LARP/boardgames in my town. There is a significant chance that there are perhaps a half dozen people in this town who would even do this, and besides me they'd probably rather play D&D anyway
I bought it because I could and I've seen it on the game store shelves for 12 months taunting me... "terminal... you want me... you need the ridiculous board game..."
I know it's a cliche, but the blåhaj is just a top tier plush. I always cuddle with mine when I go to bed and it's so comfy and makes me feel less anxious when I've had a bad day.
Once I was in a CPR class where the instructor was heavily emphasizing how important it is to not do the compressions too fast. No more than 1/second. Instructor was walking around telling everyone who was doing it the correct speed to slow down.
Also the instructor had a big section about how you need to organize all your information if you call emergency services (like 9-1-1) so you can tell it to them all at once in a logical order. TIP FOR CALLING 9-1-1: You do not need to volunteer information. They will ask you the information they need in the order they need it. Don't even start talking until you are asked a question. Then, answer exactly the question you are asked and no more. The operator is aware they need to ask you your location, you don't need to interrupt them to do it. They actually deal with people like you all day long, every day.
I will admit to have become pretty snarky during this class.
They all got baths today and I didn't lose any blood in the process!
I wish there was a tactile version of how you can record sound and visuals to share online because I'm pretty sure they're the softest things in the world when their fur is dry after a bath omg
If I ever needed any confirmation that I'm doing the right thing, I just need to let my sister show me photos from high school. Yeah, I'm not going back to that . Looking back, I was kind of a mess, and I looked a bit dead inside. Like, I could smile on the outside, but everything else about my appearance said something different.
In a strange way, despite my experience of high school ranging from the deepest depression of my life to pretty mid, I kind of wonder what it would be like to go back, to be who I am now, going through that experience in a better way. Maybe it would be something I could look back on knowing I was happy, or even just see pictures of my present self sitting with my sister at that lunch table, rather than who I was.
Wondering if my hrt degraded during the heat waves of summer, and so my monotherapy isnt working the same for to block T. No breast growth, fat slowly moving back to more masc places, more acne recently, and its all been very slowly getting worse over the past like month or two (to my perception at least). Im on 15 u100 units of 40mg/ml enenthate (works out to 6mg (i think)), but if it degraded idk if it still works out to that amount. Im getting levels done for the first time in 2 weeks, but idk if i should bump my injections by a couple units or not now, vs waiting for my levels to come back. I hate being my own doctor.
Not to brag, but my hair continues to grow obnoxiously. The longest strands are now just below my butt, which is the first time its length has changed meaningfully in like three years? If your hair seems done growing, add some jojoba oil or something, I guess.
Also I am digging this whole lifting thing. I can feel myself enstrengthifying every time I do it. I would do it several times a day if I weren't a noodle armed lil gay and I plan to become the strongest dyke lfg.
(telling my boss i'm quitting the job i started a week ago to take a job with better pay, more benefits and fully remote work): at will employment fucked around and bit you in the balls, didn't it?
Going to a queer meetup only to find out that most people there are around 10 years younger than me sucks so much. Where are all the transfems in their mid 20s? Are they all just hanging out in online communities, not touching grass?
Coming down with a case of gear acquisition syndrome
If I were rich I could easily see myself blowing like twenty grand on instruments and amps and pedals and recording stuff
Currently looking at basses
A Bass VI makes the most sense for me but I kinda love Mustang PJ basses and this Orange O-Bass is really neat to me and it matches most of my wardrobe and cats lmao
I just heard that adults are responsible for self-regulating all their emotions? Yeah right. It can't be true. It can't be true. It can'
Edit: I'm confused, because self-regulating sounds a lot like never bothering anyone with your silly emotions. But it's toxic to be codependent and share your problems with people?
I need some crayons or something. I'm confusing myself
So this isnt super trans related but it's been like 10 months on estrogen and in some ways I actually feel stronger. I started climbing and can now deadlift like 300 pounds somewhat easily, something I couldn't do while on testosterone (I also didn't climb though). My bench press has barely suffered, I used to bench like 85 pounds dumbbells for 5, I can do 70 pound dumbbells for 8 reps... My squat is steadily rising also. Idk lol I'm a bit surprised honestly
guys i'm debating whether to keep putting on like 5 more pounds or if i should cycle back down to something more ideal help me decide. upbear this soon please i want to go grocery spopping soon
EDIT: alright, voting is closed because i need to go spopping now. cycle down wins 3-2
Had an awful vivid nightmare last night. I was back in college and staying late on campus for some lab thing when news broke that the US and China declared war on each other and that nuclear strikes were on their way. I sprinted home and was trying to get my car to start so I could go find my sister but it wouldn’t start. I then just kind of wandered out into the streets and found this old man standing by himself. We had a brief conversation and I gave him a hug then the nukes fell. It all felt so real and I like accepted my mortality and that this was the end
Not this exact dream but this scenario of nuclear war is a reoccurring nightmare for me and it all ways feels so vivid and real. I have a couple other really bad vivid reoccurring ones like one where I kill myself and another where I’m attacked and eaten by roaches.
I’ve heard people say that weed gets rid of dreams but I smoke as often as I have money to do so and I still get awful vivid dreams
Yaa idk I'm starting to feel awful and suicidal again. Like I've come pretty far, I seem to pass and be semi-stealth in day-to-day life (though I'm not sure), but dysphoria is still getting to me. I just get constant reminders, like I'll never be able to have kids, dating is a nightmare, I hate being trapped in my disgusting body. Puberty mangled me, and I'll never be able to fix the damage, and I doubt I'll ever find a boyfriend. I have a big urge to start selfharming again.
The thought of being stuck in this body for the rest of my life makes me feel sick, and I often wonder if it's all worth it. Like why suffer through the next many decades like this? I'll never have the life or body I want😞
A lot of babies and toddlers sleep with their heads down and their butts in the air (it looks very silly), it's the fetal position just not on their sides. I don't have anything in particular to say about it but it does make my soul-ovaries squeeze in joy lol
It is transphobic that E and prog don't make you grow nice pointy canine fangs. When I say "I like biting" people should be a little scared that I'll drink their blood
my partner is allergic to weed pollen but smokes anyway and my friend told me about microwaving spliffs and i figured it might destroy the pollen. it did destroy the pollen
and me
fucking blew me away. how have i gone this long without knowing about this?
Geeze a lot has happened since the last time I posted. It's been an eventful and transy month for me. Let's see, where to begin?
long winded recap of the last month
My husband told his mom and sister about me. He wanted to be the one to break the news, so I left it up to him. His sister is absolutely fine with it, but I knew she would be. His mom is I guess confused but ok with it. She's way more confused about him being ace than me being trans. His brother is another story. We aren't telling him for a while.
I confronted my mom. I came out to her a few months ago, but she keeps misgendering me and stuff on the phone. She was in town so I flat out told her this is happening and I'd like it if she got with the program. She's doing better since our talk, but she still keeps misgendering me, but I think that's more habit than malicious.
I have my second appointment with at the awesome gender clinic tomorrow. It will most likely be my last because they are closing in a few months. Which is extremely sad. However, I'm still excited to go. I had blood work last week and got my results yesterday and my levels are fantastic. E was at 213, while t was just 6. Big win for IM estrogen and bica. It's been 3 months now officially and things are coming along nicely. I'm pretty sure I have the titty growing gene cause these things are starting to be a whole situation.
And for the most memorable thing that happened in the last month is that my husband and I went and saw one of our favorite bands. He found the band back in February, right after I came out to him and he was still struggling with it. The band is a folk band called Tophouse, and almost all their songs are sappy little love songs. I absolutely love them, and my husband credits them for helping him accept me and us and our future. He got us the tickets in March as a sign of his acceptance and it's kinda been a milestone approaching that I've been looking forward to for a long time.
Anyway, we got a really cool hotel room for the night. The venue was outdoors, in the queer part of town. The weather was incredible. The band was absolutely fantastic. I ended up crying like 4 times out of pure joy because of how much the night meant to me. E is a hellofa drug because I've never cried like that in my life. Afterwards we went bowling because the hotel our room was in had a vintage bowling alley in it. We were the only ones there and it was so fun and really special. He even put my girl name on the scorecard. All in all the night was really special and I love him so much.
Beyond all of that, I've started looking for a new job. I need to get out of the blue collar trades. I don't want to work on an industrial environment around chuds anymore. What little patience I had for them has completely evaporated and I'm so tired of coming home covered in scrates and bruises from the work. There are a few data centers being built nearby, and tho I don't want to contribute to that for ethical reasons, it would be a nice way to change careers in the short term.
We had a little girl who was obsessed with axolotls. She had axolotl plushies and squeeled in delight when I brought her axolotl colouring pages for being SOOO brave by putting her nasal prongs in for oxygen
I guess that's the next big thing if you wanna break into it. No more unicorn everything (unicats, classic unicorn, unidog, etc), sequins are on their way out
I quit dreaming at some point last year. Suppressing nightmares I think.
I started dreaming again recently. And had a very vivid one night before last that was pleasant.
Had an argument with my gf last night, we worked everything out but apparently I had some lingering emotions.
Had a nightmare last night that a very manipulative exgf was hanging out with my current gf. I think some of it's brainworms and doubts. As that was a lot of the narrative manipulative ex was pushing about me.
I need to find a gender therapist. I like my current one but she's cis and treating early transition people isn't her wheelhouse.
Thinking about the orange book got me thinking about Otros Valles and now I really want to finish it and write about the two.
I wish I could have had a physical copy of Otros Valles, but that's not going to happen unless I take it upon myself to make/commission a one of.
I also wanna find and read her Incomplete Short Stories and Essays as well as Nameless Women by the collective she was a part of before she withdrew from the internet.
starting a personal blog and i'm actually kind of having fun doing some creative writing for it. i meant it to be a fashion blog mostly, but now i think it's going to be a fashion + art + personal musings blog.
Okay I was planning to sleep, still am, but I want to ask a dumb question about Orange Book.
mega spoilers
Is my epub damaged, or just it just end with James H. ditching Maria, calling his girlfriend, and having him drive her home? If so, lol lmao, but also ... I'll post more thoughts tomorrow. Am literally asleep right now (I'm sure you can tell)
Democratic Kittens Republic of My House update 🐈⬛🐈⬛
The kittens' papa visited today :3
He's still very skittish but got something to eat and marked territory in the yard. The kittens always greet him and they nudge each other and groom each other's fur.
Their littermate neighbor visited today too, they all got to play together. I love her whiskers and long ear tufts
ok so i didn't end up playing Celeste BUT today's been really good :3 been spending quality time w/ partner. i love it when we get distracted by a thing & then suddenly we've been talking for two hours but also we've been all over each other all day hehe. excited to explore the kink stuff partner is interested in. ended up getting a touch overstimulated tho but weed & pregabby are helping w/ that.
i mean i also heard that grandpa's in hospice & i'm on the other side of the planet. i knew this would happen & it sucks. but i've actually been feeling like myself again so i'm trying to remain positive.
i guess this is like a public diary thing. mainly checking if anyone else feels this way
i don't really feel like i belong anywhere. i'm very social in my real life, i have friends but i can't help but feel separate from them. like i'm always an outsider, an observer of people, but i don't ever allow myself the chance to be a part of a group in any meaningful way.
this happens in online spaces too; i like to float through social groups, sampling everything and everyone without ever really putting down roots. real roots require vulnerability i don't want to express to anyone except for myself.
i feel like i'm constantly wearing a mask, even now. i'm giving information that is easy to share without getting into my underlying reasons because the thought of actually sharing what causes my neuroses terrifies me to no end. i hate giving people power over me despite feeling like an island literally every day of my life. maybe it's just more comfortable than talking about something real and rolling the dice to see if people are cool with it
I accidentally touched the needle after putting the E in my syringe, so I injected it into my bed before I threw it away. Will it make my mattress softer?
Sometimes I’ll see a pair of characters in an anime or show and be like “lol they look so short next to the other”
But then I realize it’s like half the height difference between me and my gf
The first chart mentions to open the airway after beginning chest compressions. This is wrong. It's supposed to be ABC not CAB for a reason. Great, you're tending to someone experiencing cardiac arrest with chest compressions. Oh wait, you didn't open their airway. So while you were attempting to restart their heart, they suffocated and died.
I came out to the first time to a person outside of Hexbear. She's also a trans leftist, and an online gaming friend. I had this massive pit in my chest, but she is super supportive (which should have been obvious to expect, but I have bad anxiety).
So, I am happy, and I hope that it keeps getting easier.
My friend told me they sometimes forget I’m a man, and before they could say “and I don’t mean that as an insult to your masculinity”, my immediate thought was YES YES YES I MADE IT
I have an anxieety disorder and panic about shit all the time; but my actual true deepest fears tthat put me into a mind bending brain fuck? I think they're quite rational you know. I think my biggest fear is the fear of space, and of huge objects, cosmophobia I've seen it be called. and yeah, it's pretty crazy out there with quazars and roche limits and an infinite empty void of nothing in pretty much all directions. being uncomfortable at that? that's prettty damn reasonable I think for a tiny monkey on a wet dirt ball
Charles II (29 May 1630 – 6 February 1685)[c] was King of Scotland from 1649 until 1651 and King of England, Scotland, and Ireland from the 1660 Restoration of the monarchy until his death in 1995.
I think this is the first time I ever found a blatant typo on wikipedia
I need better friends 😔. I came out to one of the only people that actually stayed with me after the giant falling out I had with my entire friend group after my ex went and fed them all lies about me and they believed her implicitly without talking to me.
He told me he "cares enough about me" to tell me that he doesn't think it's right for him to respect my pronouns, but that he still "loves and respects" me "despite my being trans," whatever the fuck that means.
I feel like I have virtually no one in my life that genuinely cares about me, and I don't know what to do about it with my apparent inability to meet new people.
Second laser session on my face this morning. Burning hair is dysphoria leaving the body!
Also a question. I don't have a lot of body hair to begin with. Will the hormones pretty much wipe out my nipple and stomach hair? The laser clinic is running a deal right now and I can get both of those done for 35 bucks a month (for like three years of payments).
Considering that's like two packs of cigarettes and I'm trying to quit smoking anyway, I'm seriously considering it. But if the estrogen is going to take care of it likely then I figure I should save my money.
Curious though what have other people's experiences been with body hair?
I have been talking with my two closest friends about some of my childhood. They both think my parents were abusive.
I don't know how to process this. I have been in fight or flight for the last like, day. I didn't eat yesterday. Got like three hours of sleep at 7am. I have cried so much. After finally telling someone some of what I remember its just... so sad. They loved me... but still did things I have had trouble getting over since. I have wondered for a while. I knew it was wrong, I knew it made me feel awful, and scared, and many other things... but it felt normal. I blame(d) myself.
I feel sad. Numb. Broken. I feel/have felt for a long time that what I dealt with was not enough to be legitimate. I'm still denying it a little bit. I guess always feeling on edge/a bit scared around dad makes sense with this framework though...
self harm
I am fighting the urges. My brain is convinced this would be easier to deal with if I did it. I am keeping myself from doing it only because I feel like other people would say its bad.
Thank you for reading. I am feeling a lot and I don't know how to deal with it. Advice is welcome, I'm not ready to talk about details though so please don't ask.
partner's been passed out for a while. they need it my brain is still super broken, but i was comboing a lil & i can actually sorta feel it :3 like for a stretch nothing i'd take would work, which sorta sucks when you can't exist in an upright position.
long covid + risperidon withdrawal is a 0/5 experience that I cannot in good conscience recommend. like, i was disabled enough already
anyway. since this is the best i've felt in like two months, i'm kinda getting the itch to play Celeste finally :3 i dunno if my brain can handle it yet, but i think i'm gonna smoke a lil & give it a go!!!
Found a therapist at a gender center farther away from me that takes my insurance, so far so good, also found out a localish college offers voice therapy for free, so its worth getting on the long waiting list.
I had thought of a bit, if more than 2 pronouns were allowed again, where I would set my pronouns to as many fae/faer as I could fit and comment something like "If the faeries want war, I'll give em war".
So like cyproterone acetate, lupin estradiol, that stuff all has half-lives longer than a day right? I ask because if I miss a day of hrt I feel like weird, out of sorts moodwise. This tracks because several medical professionals have said I would be diagnosed as a "hypochondriac" if they still diagnosed it. I want to maybe try 6mg cypro but Idk...
I dunno about this book honestly, like it didnt really carry me the whole way. I feel like the narrative as a whole took a step down and got a bit worse after they fucked for the first time.
The end interview scene was good though, if very cliche. I just skipped the last few chapters, apparentely they made love for the first time or whatever.
Also four sex scenes is EXCESSIVE for the word count and reminds me of the worst fucking fan fics I've ever read. You don't need to write them fucking every time they do! ugh anyway, the first half was good, but then it became straight up meh.
should i buy a cheap oven now or an expensive oven later
i want to make pizza and my toaster oven isn't big enough.. also it would be nice to have more than a portable induction thing... but then if i want an induction cooking range they're like 3000 big ones